Payback
by emma-rowling
Summary: Steel Hounds are living the rock star life on the road: twenty four hour parties with booze, drugs and wild after parties. With the ever growing distance between his boyfriend, Roman Reigns and him, Dean Ambrose finds himself lurking on dangerous grounds with temptation, living life in the fastlane. Ambreigns AU. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

One

"Twenty four hour parties! Containers of cocaine! Bottles of tequila and vodka all over the place! What are you boys doing?"

Dean Ambrose stepped out of the shower in the suite room of the Hilton Barra Rio de Janeiro, only in his boxers and found Paul Heyman, manager of Steel Hounds, one of the biggest heavy metal bands in the world berating Corey Graves, the rhythm guitarist, staring blankly at him.

"Corey! Answer me!" Paul pressed. "Look at this place! It's a mess!" His eyes fell on Dean who was staring at him. "Please tell me you didn't touch a drop. I can't have it out that even the lead singer is back to his old ways," he pleaded to Dean.

"Nope. Not a single one," Dean replied. "He's going through a rough time, Paul."

"That's not an excuse, Dean."

"But it isn't. Losing a baby is not something you can just get over. It'll take time." His eyes fell on Seth Rollins, their lead guitarist, who was snoring with half his body dangling down the couch, a bottle of Jim Beam in his right hand.

Not far from him, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, their drummer and bassist, were sleeping on the bed with their mouths wide open.

"This tour has been nothing short but a disaster. And what's worse is that you're only a month into it. There's still eleven more months to go!" Paul burst out.

Dean had nothing to say. There wasn't much he could either. It was true that the band had gone back to their wild ways. Their first show on the tour was in Vancouver. When they had touched down, Corey had received a call that his wife, Eva Marie, had lost their baby.

He wanted to go home but Eva insisted that he continue with the tour.

Then the parties started. They lived their days and nights rock and roll: the drinks, the girls, the drugs… Old habits died hard. They took their partying on a larger scale; a different theme for every night.

The temptations of the road were always there in their faces and they just yielded to it.

Corey, whom Dean had always considered to be the level headed one, turned to booze to cope with his loss. Despite Dean's best efforts, Corey didn't want to hear any of it. He wanted to drown himself in the liquid courage to escape his sorrows.

Alcohol gave him the courage to say things he didn't have the guts to say. Dean emphatised with him, choosing to just be there for him instead of condemning him. He, of all people should know better on how to deal with alcohol addiction, having been an alcoholic currently in recovery.

 _But I wouldn't have been able to have done so without Roman_ , Dean thought. At that moment, Dean felt a pang in his heart.

His boyfriend and him were miles away and hadn't seen each other in a month. Sure there were phone calls and FaceTime but he missed holding Roman. He missed kissing him. He missed every damn thing about him.

Roman was currently doing his internship at Faith and Serenity Centre, one of the best rehabilitations in the States and Dean couldn't have been more proud of him. Dean himself had been due there for treatment of his relapse but the label had pushed forward their tour dates to promote the band's new album, _Fastlane._ Dean had kissed his boyfriend and hopped on a private jet, coping with temptation all around him, thanks to the band's never ending partying.

 _The price of being a rock star_ , he mused as he watched Corey struggling to stay awake.

Paul threw his hands up. "I give up. I'm going back to my room. You deal with this!" He closed the door behind him.

Dean sat down beside Corey. "Core," he said softly. "You want to sleep on the pullout out chair?"

"No," his friend mumbled. "Leave me alone, Dean."

He knew when his friend got like this that it was better to persist. He couldn't let Corey sleep on the floor. "Core, come on," Dean slid his arm under Corey's arms and helped him up slowly. He managed to put him on the chair and put a blanket on him. "Get some rest, man."

"It hurts, Dean," Corey mumbled. "It fucking hurts."

"I know, Core. It'll get easier soon. I promise."

* * *

Roman Reigns closed the door of the activity room behind him and looked at the wall clock. Shift was over. Time to go to his other job at the Javawocky as a waiter.

"Good job today, Roman," Dr Mick Foley, the chief medical officer in charge of the centre said. "I'm glad you're doing your internship here. You have a way with our patients. I've heard nothing but good things about you."

Roman smiled. "Thank you, Dr Foley. That means a lot to me."

"Hey, I'm kind of hoping that you'd consider us once you graduate."

"I would be honored. Thank you so much."

After a warm shower and a change of clothes, he walked out of the locker room, biding some patients and staff a good day.

He walked past a poster that he loved to read every time he clocked out:

 _ **Before you talk, listen.**_

 _ **Before you react, think.**_

 _ **Before you criticize, wait.**_

 _ **Before you pray, forgive.**_

 _ **Before you quit, try.**_

"Have a good day, Roman," Rhyno Waters, one of the orderlies said to him on his way out along the corridor.

"Thank you, Rhyno."

His phone vibrated and he smiled. Dean. Gosh, Roman missed him. "Dean? How was last night's performance?"

"Horrible," Dean groaned. "Corey hit a chord, and suddenly he just stopped playing. He just stopped playing and stared off in the distance for the rest of the concert."

"What did the rest of you do?"

"We just carried on with our performance. What else were we supposed to do?"

Roman sighed. "Do you think if I talked to him-"

"Forget it, Roman. That was the first thing I had proposed and he shot me down. Anyways, how's your day? I miss you like crazy."

"I miss you too. My day's great. Although I had a patient who had a family member snuck in a flask of alcohol."

"There are many of those out there. Did you confront him?"

"Yeah but privately though. I didn't want to embarrass him."

"That was kind of you. I'm sure you read the headlines about our partying… I didn't touch a single drop. I promise you."

Roman smiled. "I trust you. Don't worry."

He was about to clock out when he stopped dead in his tracks, recognising the person in front of him.

"Dean, I'll call you back," he said and hung up before his boyfriend could reply. His eyes couldn't believe it. What was even doing here? "J-Joseph?"

* * *

Dean frowned at his cell phone. What was so urgent that Roman had hung up so quickly?

He sighed and went over to the pullout chair where Corey was stirring awake. "Corey?" Dean asked. "Are you okay?"

Silence.

Dean tried again. "I'll get you some coffee, okay?"

"Bourbon," Corey replied, grunting.

"No bourbon, Core."

"I don't give a damn, Dean. I want my fucking drink... give it to me when I ask."

"Core-"

His friend stood up and brushed past him. "Fuck, Dean. I want that drink and I want it now!"

"Drinking isn't going to solve anything, Core."

"Maybe not but it numbs the pain. And that's exactly why I'm doing this." He opened another bottle and downed it.

Dean watched on, helpless. Was this how he was like before?

"Have some, Dean," Corey offered, wiping his mouth.

Dean shook his head. "No, Core. I can't. I won't."

Corey shrugged. "Oh well. More for me. Look, Dean. We're a rock band. We shouldn't have to give a shit about anything." He gulped down more before stopping and shoving it into Dean's left hand. "Drink! You know you want to. You know you miss it."

Dean stared down at the bottle in his hand, his eyes widening.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Roman asked.

"I work here, of course," Joseph said. "I sold off my centre and decided to just work as a doctor instead of running my own place."

This was bad. Joseph Namakaeha was a former visiting lecturer who had taken a keen interest in him personally, even going so far as to offer Roman an internship in his centre and pretending to be _his_ boyfriend in front of Roman's parents.

When Dean had found out having shown up at Roman's doorstep after his first stint in rehab, he was furious and lashed out, refusing to hear Roman out.

Roman had threatened to beat Joseph up if he ever touched him again.

He hadn't seen Joseph since.

Until now.

"How are you?" Joseph asked. "You look great."

"Stay out of my way, Joseph." Roman walked past him out of the entrance.

"Roman!"

He stopped walking and Joseph caught up with him. "Look," Joseph said. "Can't we put the past behind us?"

"No, Joseph. We can't. You almost ruined my relationship with Dean."

"You mean almost saved you from a destructive relationship. Look, Roman. They are bound to relapse. And it's going to be hard dealing with their behavior."

"Are you kidding me? Joseph, that's what rehabilitation is for. You can't give up on them. You just keep finding new ways to help them."

"Don't be naive, Roman. Once an addict, always an addict. It's just a matter of _when_ they'll relapse."

* * *

"One drink won't hurt you, Dean."

Dean looked at Corey and then the bottle in his hand. Well, one sip wouldn't hurt… right?

The smell of it gave him nostalgia.

"Remember all those times we had fun on the _Salvation's Fall_ tour?" Corey said, as if he had been reading his mind. "Our parties… unlimited booze and junk… come on, Dean. We are rock stars. Let's live like one. All these other bands are doing it. Why shouldn't we?"

Dean frowned. "We were choking on excess, Core."

"Is that so bad? We're not hurting anyone."

 _But I'll be hurting Roman_ , Dean thought. _And I never want to do that._

"So one drink is going to make you addicted? One sip? Be realistic, Dean. Join me. Please?"

One sip wouldn't hurt.

One sip _wouldn't_.

One sip…

One…

Dean pressed his lips against the bottle mouth and stopped. _What are you doing, Dean? Stop!_

His mind was screaming at him yet every pore in his body was begging for it.

"What kind of rock star image are we projecting, Dean? We are not a boy band. We are not cookie cutters. We are motherfucking rock stars!" Corey laughed. "You know what the media called you? A mellow folk singer. That's not heavy metal, Dean. That's hippie."

That did it. He was no hippie.

Tilting his head back, the taste of smooth, sweet oak liquid with a hint of spice flowed through his mouth.

Dean spat it out immediately. "Fuck!" he yelled.

Corey started to break down then. Dean rushed to his side. "Core…" he consoled.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry," he cried. "Why does it hurt? Why won't it go away? Make it stop, Dean. Make it go away!"

Dean rocked Corey in his arms. "Give it time, Core. You're allowed to grieve. But please don't think that drinking will block it because it won't. It'll only make things worse. I'm telling you this from experience."

Corey shook his head and pushed Dean away. He opened the front door and ran out of the suite.

"Corey!" Dean called out.

Seth rolled over and fell off the couch at that moment. He looked shocked. " What… what happened?"

Dean picked up the bourbon bottle on the floor and placed it on the counter.

Jim Beam Black Bourbon Whiskey; eight years old.

Well, time to clean up the mess lest they wanted some housekeeping staff blowing their horn to the media.

As he started folding the blanket on Corey's couch, his eyes fell on the bottle again.

One sip.

One.

 _ **A/N I'm back… I hoped you enjoyed this first chapter. Alcoholism is a very hard disease to beat… I've always likened it to a monster under the bed. Do you know someone battling with an addiction? I hope that you take care of yourself while looking out for them.**_

 _ **Please leave me a review. I'd love to read it. :-)**_


	2. Chapter 2

Two

 _ **A/N Warning explicit language ahead. Sorry guys. That's rock stars for you...**_

* * *

 _You reached for me_

 _I held your hand_

 _You saved me_

 _From who I used to be_

Dean sang into the microphone on stage at the Metropolitan later that night.

Behind him, Corey was struggling to play his riffs while Seth was headbanging to his own rhythm in his head. Luke was on pitch; of that Dean was thankful and Karl was pounding hard on the cymbals.

In short, the whole set was terrible.

And the fans knew it.

Dean was about to start on the second verse when he heard the rhythm guitar go off. He turned around and found Corey passed out on stage. "Core!" he shouted.

The rest of the band stopped playing and rushed to his side. "Core," Dean said, slapping his face. "Core! Can you hear me?"

Several paramedics rushed to the stage. "Alright, fellas. Move aside. Move aside," one of them said as they worked on Corey.

Dean watched helplessly as the paramedics checked on his friend's pulse before they put him on a stretcher.

"What do we do now?" Seth asked, helpless.

As if he had sensed it, Shane McMahon, their tour manager rushed on stage. "Guys, we have to cancel the concert."

"Shane, we can't," Dean protested. "These people paid money for our show. Let's just continue!"

"We have no choice, Dean. We can reschedule it after your last show in Belfast. No Corey, no show. He's a vital part of this band."

Dean stared at the rest of his bandmates who offered no opinions and slowly he walked to his microphone stand. "Hi guys," he announced. "Corey is not feeling well and has been brought to the hospital. But we'll be back again, okay, Rio? We always keep our promise and trust me, we will be back!"

There was a chorus of boos from fans. Some empty cups were being thrown on stage.

"Dean!" Shane hissed. "We have to get the fuck out of here! These people are going mad!"

He got pulled away by Seth and they were rushed into a waiting van.

"My guitar!" Seth yelled as he was yanked by security.

"We'll get it for you," Shane said, rushing with them to the car park. "You guys need to get to the hotel quick."

"But why?"

Dean climbed in the back of the van first, followed by Karl and Luke. Seth kept looking back at the back door. "Seth!" Dean said. "Get in quick!"

He turned around and found that there were police cars overturned and youths fighting with the police… it was a nightmare. It felt like the apocalypse had fallen upon Rio.

"Stay inside!" Shane ordered before turning to their driver, Rey. "Take the fastest way to the Hilton." He slammed the door and Dean heard it being locked. Shane pounded on the van before running back inside the venue.

Rey got in and started the engine. "We need to go now, guys," he said. "Sorry." As the vehicle started to move, Dean noticed that several cars were on fire.

"Where's Corey?" Luke asked.

"Hospital," Dean said as he read the message Paul had sent on their group chat. "He insisted we head back to the hotel."

Luke frowned. "What the fuck happened on stage just now?"

"Corey was hungover as fuck," Seth muttered. "So was I. I had a couple of cocktails before going onstage."

"What?" Dean yelled. "Seth! We agreed no drinking until after the concert."

"Hey, I don't need a lecture, Dean. Just because you can't drink doesn't mean the rest of us have to give it up too. This is our world tour. It's our oyster. This is where we party all the damn time so don't get preachy with me. I like having fun. I want to have fun. I'm going to have fun."

"Oh yeah? How did fun worked out for you, Seth? You weren't playing in line with the rest of the band."

"Fuck, Dean. Shut up, okay? Shut up. I don't want to hear anymore before I say something I'll regret."

Luke put a hand on Dean, shaking his head. Dean muttered a curse before moving to another seat.

He stared out the window for the rest of the ride, wishing desperately that Roman was with him right then.

* * *

As he was making an egg sandwich in the kitchen of Dean's mansion, Roman's eyes widened when he saw the headlines on the front page: ROCK BAND SHOW ENDS IN MASS CHAOS.

He read the article which went into the band's performance - including how Corey passed out on stage - and how the police fought with the crowd. He called Dean immediately on his cell phone and his boyfriend answered it on the fourth ring. "Hello?" he heard Dean's groggy voice.

"Sorry to wake you up so early, baby boy," he apologised. "I read the newspaper and I just wanted to check if you're alright."

Dean yawned. "I'm great. Corey and the rest… not so."

"Is he still in the hospital?"

"Nope. Came home early this morning. He's sleeping in Paul's room. Seth and the other two went out partying and haven't returned yet. I'm all alone."

"I'm proud of you, Dean."

"You are?"

"Of course. I know it's not hard but the fact that you're trying moves me. It takes a lot of strength to abstain from alcohol."

"Hmm… So how's your internship? You hung up on me quickly yesterday."

"Yeah… I'm sorry I just got a huge surprise. Dean, Joseph is now working at Faith and Serenity."

As expected, Dean was not pleased. "What?"

"Yeah. I'm going out of my way to avoid him."

"I'm flying down right now!"

"Dean, no. You have a tour to finish. I'll handle Joseph. You just worry about your band."

He could hear Dean growling. "If he tries anything funny-"

"He'll be meeting my fist."

Dean laughed. "I love you angry, Roman. It's a huge turn on."

"I know. You masochist."

* * *

"I have good news and bad news."

Dean bit his protein bar while staring at Paul. The band were in their suite's dining room - an emergency meeting called by their manager - with their packed bags being carried by their travelling crew. Their next gig was in Argentina.

Paul was standing, arms crossed with an unreadable expression on his face. "Good news is," he continued, "Your album has sold four million copies in the first month."

"Yes!" Seth cheered.

"Really?" Karl asked, surprised.

Paul shook his head. "Bad news is your concert made headlines all around the world. For the wrong reasons I might add."

"It's not our fault!" Luke protested.

"We had an agreement, guys," Paul said. "No drinking until after the show. You guys do not care, evidently."

"Come on, Paul!" Seth argued. "We're rock and roll. This is not a kids band!"

"Okay. But putting your image aside, let's talk about you guys. Okay? I'm fed up… I'm fed up because of the alcohol and drug use that has escalated amongst all of you."

Dean didn't dare say a word. It was true that the band had drug dealers on call. They had contacts in almost every country. Dealers who could deliver the product to the venue where most of them did it before the show started.

"I've had in this month," Paul nagged, "found in your hotel rooms bodies all over the place every single night. Strippers. You guys. Except Dean. You've been called dangerous because of your total disregard for your safety and now apparently now your fans."

Dean found his band mates glaring at him.

"Go and figure out how to solve this mess. I'm not sure how we can handle this quite frankly." Paul walked out of the room.

Once they heard the front door closed, Seth was the first one who spoke. "Wow, Dean. You sure are Mary Sue. I'm glad you're happy at our expense."

"What are you talking about, Seth?" Dean argued. He was surprised at Seth's reaction. "I didn't say a damn thing."

"You didn't do anything either. You could have joined us and all of us could have taken the fall together. You stick out like a sore thumb."

"I'm doing this for me. And I don't want to let Roman down either."

"Wake up, Dean. Roman's not here. How the fuck will he know? Also one drink isn't going to change a thing."

"Yeah, Dean," Karl added. "You used to be fun. What happened to you?"

"Are we really having this conversation?" Dean said. "Me not drinking or taking drugs is putting a dent on your lifestyle?"

"To be honest, yes."

Dean's jaw dropped. That came from Corey. Corey had been Dean's second biggest advocate when he wanted to quit drinking. Ever since he had lost his baby, he had become a whole new person. "Core, you're depressed. Drinking is not going to make the pain go away."

"While you're too busy being a goody two shoe, how much are you willing to bet that your boyfriend will succumb to the charms of that hunky doctor friend of his?"

Dean frowned. "Leave Roman out of this, Corey."

"I can't. You're so busy judging us that you ought to take a good look at your own life, Dean." He stood up and walked to the bar counter and opened a Jack Daniels and gulped down some. "Have one sip, Dean. Prove to us that you're still the same Dean Ambrose we've known since school."

"Fuck off, Core! I don't need to prove anything to any of you."

"So you're a fucking pussy now, are you?"

"I am not a fucking pussy, you fucking drunk."

"Then what's stopping you? Did your balls drop off or something? Boyfriend tied them up?" Corey waved the bottle in front of him. "Hmmm?"

Dean clenched his fist. One more word from Corey and he was swinging it right on his friend's face.

"It must get lonely at night," Seth said. "You must miss Roman between your thighs. That bottle can make the ache go away, Dean."

Corey smirked. "Leave him alone, Seth. He's too good for us apparently."

The rest of them gave him dirty looks and that left Dean puzzled. So now his sobriety was an issue with them?

* * *

Roman pushed the wheelchair towards the patients' rooms for a man named Shelton Benjamin, a former African American runner who had suffered severe back pains and was addicted to painkillers. He was now doing so much better in rehab that there was talk of him being released early.

He had fallen down the stairs because he was too excited heading for a hike further down from the rehab that he slipped. Roman and him had bonded over their love for jazz.

"So I heard that you've turned down Dr Foley's offer to go home ahead of schedule."

"Makes no difference to me," Shelton replied. "It's only two weeks earlier."

"What will you do when you head back?"

"Write a book. About my career and struggles. I figured it'd inspire people."

"I'm sure it will. I'll be sure to look out for it."

Maybe he could ask Dean to write a book, he mused after he helped Shelton settle in his room and closed the door. Dean's rags to riches story could also motivate people to chase their dreams and work through the hardships of life.

His boyfriend was not a quitter and that was something he loved about him.

* * *

"Are we having fun, Buenos Aires?" Dean screamed into the microphone later that night. The concert had been smooth tonight. No hiccups. No one passing out. Tuning on point.

The crowd cheered at Dean's question and some cat calls were made.

He grinned into the microphone. "See you, Buenos Aires. Thanks for all your support. Steel Hounds say see ya around!"

More cheers and shouting of appreciation.

He turned around and found his bandmates rushing off to their dressing room. Paul put an arm around him. "It's not easy, Dean," he said. "But it's worth it. I promise. You're a great lead singer, a phenomenal vocalist and according to Rolling Stone magazine, one of the greatest performers in rock and roll. I'm proud of you, Dean. And I know Roman is too."

"But the guys-"

"Those guys are living life in the fastlane. Sooner or later, Dean, it'll all come tumbling down for them. Just you wait and see."

But Dean didn't want to. These guys were his friends. They were friends - well Corey, Seth and him anyways - before they became a band. For them to treat him like an outcast hurt him more than he had thought possible.

He didn't want to lose his friends.

Paul went off to talk to Shane about travelling arrangements for the next day. Dean spotted the rest of his bandmates walking out of the dressing room, laughing. It felt odd and Dean didn't like it one bit.

He was used to being the life of the party.

"Hey Deano," Corey said. "We're off. See you back at the hotel." He turned around and started catching up with the rest who were ahead.

Dean frowned. So it was like that now? He could still go out and not drink but still have fun. "Core, wait!"

 _ **A/N Woohoo! Rock n roll baby! Thank you for the favorites/follows/reviews. I appreciate it :-) Ratings will be changed to M at this rate.**_


	3. Chapter 3

Three

As Dean watched Corey and Seth laughing aloud while pouring another round of their vodka at the Niceto Club, his eyes fell on the white powder on the table which to his dismay, Karl and Seth had snorted fifteen minutes before.

He sipped his Coke and looked at the rest of his bandmates.

Paul was right: drugs and alcohol use had reached a most dangerous high for their band. What saddened him the most was Corey. He was burying his pain in alcohol and drugs and was bitter when Dean had tried to bring it up again on the way here.

"Dean," Corey offered for the third time. "Have some. Don't be a party pooper."

"No," Dean replied firmly. "Core, you know my stance on this."

"Whatever, Mary Sue."

Dean gritted his teeth. "I am not a Mary Sue."

"Then take one fucking sip."

"No! And if you keep this up, Core, I'm leaving."

"So go then! What are you waiting for?"

Seth laughed. "That reminds me of this song: what are you waiting foooorrrr? Love me like you do, love me like you do…" He cackled and Karl and Luke joined in with their horrendous rendition.

Dean stood up and threw some cash on the table. "I'm out of here."

He heard Corey calling him a coward but he decided that he needed to be the bigger person and just walk away. Corey and the rest of them weren't worth it.

Roman was.

And right now, Dean needed him more than ever.

* * *

Rehearsal was horrible the next day after they had flown to Paris in the wee hours of the morning.

They had been here, at the One Two Pass It studio, for three hours and so far they had done almost nothing.

The whole band was strung out. It irked Dean to no end as he watched Karl argue with Seth over the timing of the drum beats. Suddenly, Seth punched Karl into the drum kit and before Dean could intervene, Karl tackled Seth on the floor.

Luke just laughed while Corey drank his Stolichnaya Premium Vodka. The way he was chugging it down seemed as if he was just drinking water.

"Seth! Stop it!" Dean said, snapping out of his reverie. He rushed to pull his friend off Karl. "We're supposed to be practising. What the hell, Seth! Focus on getting the music down."

"Not before someone works on their drumming skills," Seth sneered.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Karl said. "As if your guitaring is any better. Work on your damn solos. You went off key a few times."

"Oh yeah? You play the drums like shit!"

Corey laughed before gulping down more vodka. "We all play like shit!"

"Yeah!" Seth said. "Except Dean!"

Dean frowned. "Fuck off, Seth. We're here to rehearse not to nitpick."

"Oh I'm sorry, Mary Sue. Can I get a milk for you?"

Dean almost swung his fist at Seth then until-

"STOP IT!"

They all looked to find a furious Paul glaring at them. Brock Lesnar, their bodyguard, was bouncing as if he were ready to take them all down. "Dean, take a break. Stand in the corner or something."

"Paul-" Dean said but his manager held a hand up.

"Now, Dean."

Dean huffed and sat down in the corner and crossed his arms. He watched Paul walk slowly in front of the guys. "You four are lost in the hype of your own popularity," Paul said to the four of his bandmates. "I know you don't read the newspapers but let me tell you what else happened that day in Rio while you were sent on the way back to the hotel. Members of the audience threw their chairs on stage and some even went up on stage and trashed the set. We lost twenty thousand dollars worth of props. Local stores were looted. And as I speak, two kids are in hospital fighting for their lives because of the stampede that was caused as a result of that riot."

"How is that our fault?" Seth wanted to know.

"There are consequences to your actions, Seth. I've mentioned this to all five of you countless of times. You are no longer underground; you're mainstream. People look at you at a different way; people judge you in a different way. Putting your music aside, you're killing yourselves. With all these nonsense! Keep this up and you'll have no more friends but just drug dealers and alcohol to be your companions. This is not the first time I've said this and you know what I'm talking about. I'm tired of this and I'm here to announce that I am leaving. I'm quitting as your manager."

Dean's jaw dropped. Corey seemed to have sobered up and Seth's eyes widened. Karl and Luke looked lost.

"I have fought for you five through everything you can possibly imagined. When no one believed in you, I did. With all my heart and soul, I did. But I can't keep fighting. There comes a time in a man's life where he questions what he's fighting for and if it's worth it and the answer to that, gentlemen, is no. I'm leaving but I'm taking Dean with me."

Dean was surprised. He hadn't been expecting that. But… the band… Corey, Seth… he couldn't just leave. As if reading his mind, Paul turned around. "Dean, I've watched you grow up the most out of these guys. You've made a mature decision and you stuck with it. And honestly, you have a bright future ahead of you. I promise I'll make sure you'll be recognised for the talent that you are."

"But… Paul… what about Core and Seth and-" Dean said.

"Dean, I'm telling you this because I care for you like a father would for his son. This is a sinking ship and you're better off on your own."

"No!" Seth shouted. "He stays with us, Paul! He belongs to us!"

"Actually," Paul corrected him, "He belongs to no one. He's a free man. He's free to make his own decision."

Dean thought hard. Giving up the band? This band was all he had ever known before Roman. To give up on it would be the hardest thing he had ever done. _True friends wouldn't make you feel inferior_ , he reminded himself.

"I'll need to ask Roman…" Dean said slowly. "His opinion matters to me."

"Yoko Ono," Seth quipped.

"Fuck off, Seth. He's been nothing but kind and understanding towards my lifestyle so shut up. You don't know anything about our relationship!"

"I know for a fact that you can't function without him. Don't come crying to us when you find him in bed with that professor of his."

Dean growled but Paul held him back. "Dean, the choice is yours," Paul repeated. "You can ask Roman and-"

"No. I've made my decision. I've had it. I want the first plane out of here!" He stormed out of the studio. Corey ran up to him, trying to hold him back but Dean shoved him back. "Mary Sue has left the building," he snapped. "Have a nice life, Core!"

"Dean, please don't leave," Corey pleaded. "It's not Steel Hounds without you."

He stopped in his tracks. "Oh really, Core? You seemed to be hell bent on making me feel like a loser just for not partying like you guys. Why should I even listen to you now when all month long, you've been doing nothing but throw insults at me, making a mockery of my sobriety. Do you even know how painful it was to watch you, in particular, ruin your life, Core? I've watched you go through a case of beer and a bottle of Jack Daniels like it was nothing to you. Then watching you leave ten minutes later to go out drinking some more, coming back a wasted mess and shoving bottles in my face, taunting me, taking shots at my pride. I've tried so hard to remind myself that it wasn't you talking; it was the alcohol but I can only take so much."

His friend looked at the ground as if he were trying to find the words to say. He looked Dean in the eye. "We're brothers, Dean."

Not even an apology. Unbelievable. Was Corey even sorry for all the things he had said? "Are we, Core?"

"This is home to you."

"No, Core. It's not. _Roman_ is home to me and you guys know this. You have disrespected my relationship, my need to get healthy… Right now, I'm not in this band. I need to figure things out."

"Dean, come on. Aren't you being hasty?"

Dean ignored him as he walked towards the elevator. He was tired and he just wanted a chai latte and a Samoan man to wrap his arms around him, assuring him everything would be okay.

* * *

Roman was shocked to find Dean at the mansion's doorstep in the middle of the night. He glanced at the clock. Eleven.

He had been getting ready for bed but heard the doorbell. When he had looked through the peephole, his heart had leaped.

"D-Dean?" he said. "I tried calling you but there was no reception so I tried to e-mail-"

His boyfriend's kiss shut him up.

Roman missed this: missed holding him, kissing him… missed everything about him. He enveloped him nearer as their kiss deepened.

His common sense kicked him and he pulled away. "Dean, not that I'm unhappy to see you and all but what are you doing home?"

Dean shrugged. "I've left the band."

"What?" Roman was surprised. The band, music was everything to Dean. "But why? Can't you guys work things out?"

"When they throw _you_ under the bus, when it involves my well being being disregarded, you're damn right it can't be worked out. Besides, Paul quitted too."

"Paul too? Is it that bad, Dean?"

"Yes. Look, Roman. They were drinking and taking drugs like it was their daily meals and they threw those things in my face. There were many performances that we've had that were lacklustre and I can't do it anymore, Roman. I've tried. I really did."

Roman pulled him into his arms and held him for a while. His heart went out to Dean. It must have hurt him to throw it all away but he had to remain optimistic. Dean Ambrose was a survivor. He'd make it through this.

"Why don't you take a shower, okay?" Roman said. "I'll make you my famous chai latte and we can just watch reruns of The Twilight Zone."

"Sounds good to me," Dean replied before kissing him. "It's good to be home."

"More than you'll ever know."

* * *

Dean groaned when Roman got out of bed the next morning. "Where are you going?" he whined.

"To work," Roman chuckled. "You remember my internship."

He sat up immediately. "What the hell? Is that asshole still there?" Dean had half a mind to go and punch Joseph in the face.

"Yes but I don't want you coming anywhere near there. I didn't see him yesterday."

"Maybe he got shipped back to Hawaii."

"Maybe."

Roman walked into the bathroom and Dean stared fondly after him. He took out his cell phone and found a text message from Paul informing him that he'd be stopping by later at eleven. Dean replied him and tossed his phone aside.

"Do you want anything to eat?" he called out to his boyfriend.

"No, it's fine," Roman replied. "I'll just grab something from the staff cafeteria."

Dean got out of bed and stretched. Now what? He was sure the label were pissed off with him. As were the fans, no doubt. He'd have to work a way out of buying his contract or something.

Roman came out in just a towel around his waist, his hair all wet.

"Babe, next time give me a warning when you're coming out from the shower," Dean replied.

"And miss the look you're giving me now? I think I'll stick to unannounced appearances," Roman said, cheeky.

In response, Dean pounced on him and threw the towel aside.

* * *

Paul came over as expected at eleven but without Brock in sight. "No Brock?" Dean teased his manager. "I thought you guys were glued at the hips."

"Very funny," Paul replied. "He's at the gym." He held out a paper bag. "I got us some drinks and sandwiches. Hot chocolate with marshmallow for you and green tea for me. Oh and two chicken breast sandwiches."

"Thanks, Paul."

They settled at Dean's dining table. Paul took a sip of his tea and sighed in contentment. "For the first time, I'm not stressing over anything."

"Paul," Dean asked. "What am I supposed to do now? I mean what happened to the band? The label must be tearing their hair out!"

"The label and I have agreed that you parting ways with the band is best for business. Dean, the label has got big plans for you: they want to make you a solo rock star."

Dean stared at Paul in surprise. "What? But, Paul-"

"They also hope you can start recording in one to two weeks time."

"So soon? But don't you think I need to announce to the media-"

"We'll be doing so in about three days but as of now, Dean, Steel Hounds are done."

 _ **A/N Dean a solo rock star a la Bryan Adams? Say it is so. Well depends lol. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please bear with me about the plot. I'm slowly getting it warmed up. Thank you for the favorites/follows/reviews. I truly appreciate it. You guys rock. Seriously you do! The people on FF always melt my heart. 3**_


	4. Chapter 4

Four

Roman knocked on the door of Dr Foley office. The curly haired brunette looked up from a piece of paper he was staring at. "Hey Roman," he greeted.

"Hey Mick," he said. "I'm going off soon."

"Okay. Have a nice day." Mick smiled and looked at the paper, his face stressed.

"Is there anything I can help you with?"

Mick shook his head. "Nothing much. The centre is a non profit organisation and we really on public donations. There's not much donations coming in lately. We need money desperately. I'm not sure what I can do."

He wished Roman a good day and asked him to get some rest. He was not scheduled to come in to Javawocky today so he decided to go straight home.

When he reached home, he found Dean asleep in their bedroom. His boyfriend looked gorgeous, his auburn hair moppy and lips slightly parted. He sat down on the bed, beside him and kissed his cheek.

Dean stirred awake and he smiled when his eyes fell upon Roman. "Hey," he greeted, sleep in his voice.

Roman stroked his face. "Hey."

"How was your day?"

"It was okay." He smiled. "I don't want to talk about that."

"What do you want to do then?"

Roman bent down and kissed his boyfriend's lips. Dean ran his hand through his hair as he kissed Roman back feverishly. He groped Dean's butt and squeezed it.

Dean tore his lips away. "Damn, Roman."

He missed this. The one month Dean was away was pure agony. He knew it would be tough for them both but he did not expect it to be that hard.

Roman pulled Dean's face back towards and claimed his lips once more. Dean licked his lips and Roman open his mouth to grant access to his boyfriend's tongue.

His hand fell on Dean's waist and slowly, he reached for the waistband of his boyfriend's boxers.

The shrill ringing of Dean's bedside phone interrupted their heavy make out. Roman pulled away immediately and Dean muttered curses. "It'd better be important," his boyfriend grumbled.

The doorbell rang at that moment too. "I'll get it," Roman said. "You answer the phone."

He bounded down the stairs and headed for the door. When he opened it, he was surprised. "Baby boy? I think you better come down here!" he hollered.

* * *

Dean didn't know what to make of it when he saw all four members of Steel Hounds standing in his living room that evening.

Roman walked in with a tray of five glasses of iced tea while all five men stood about awkwardly. He placed the tray on the table and invited them to help themselves.

As he walked past Dean, he said softly to him, "Talk to them."

He went up the staircase and disappeared from view.

"Good guy," Karl said.

"Yeah he is," Dean agreed. "I'm a very, very lucky man."

Corey stepped forward. "Dean, we want to apologise."

"Oh?"

"What we said… how we treated you was wrong. We hope you'll reconsider leaving us. It's not the same without you."

Seth nodded. "It feels horrible, Dean. I feel like I've lost a brother. Please come back. We've all been talking about checking into rehab."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. Hey, if you want, we'll check into that centre Roman's doing his internship at. We've been friends for so long, Dean. We don't want to throw it away."

Dean sighed and put his hands in the pockets of his denim. Now what? They seemed sincere. They may have been assholes on tour but they never lied to him.

What would Roman do?

He knew the answer to that: he'd forgive them and welcome them back. Dean didn't have a character like Roman's but he was certainly someone he aspired to be like.

He smiled slowly. "I missed you guys."

Then all five members of Steel Hounds got into a group hug.

"Before we lose the courage," Luke said, "I say we call them and ask if they have space available for all four of us."

"Better make that five," Dean amended.

"Five?" Corey asked.

"Yeah. If you remembered, I didn't go to rehab when our tour was pushed forward. I hopped on that plane. I made a promise to myself that I was going to rehab for me and now seems like a good time like any."

"Five guys it is," Seth cheered.

* * *

Roman was proud of Dean and he made sure he said it every few minutes later that night. "I'm so proud of you, Dean," he said for the fifth time that night while they were watching Tales from the Crypt. "I'm so proud to call you mine."

His boyfriend shook his head. "Are you kidding me? Roman, I'm the one who's proud to call you mine. You're everything good in this world and more. You know you can do better than me, right?"

"Doubt it."

Their lips met in a passionate lip lock and as always Roman found himself floating in Dean's arms. "Dean," he murmured when Dean turned his attention to his neck. He felt himself being lowered on the couch with his rock star boyfriend on top not breaking the kissing.

The doorbell rang then.

Dean growled. "Seriously? Does the world not want me to get laid?"

Roman laughed good naturedly. "Answer the door, baby boy."

Dean stalked towards the door - his face pissed off - and when he opened it, it changed immediately. "Paul? What are you doing here?"

Paul walked in and shook his head at Dean. "Really, Dean? You've forgiven them?"

Roman cleared his throat. "Maybe I should go and umm… take a shower." He stood up. "Good to see you, Paul."

This was something he was sure Dean needed to get off his chest. He stared down at the bulge of his pants. Yeah. He definitely needed that shower.

Better to make it a cold one, he decided.

* * *

Dean shut the door behind him and leaned against it. "Yes, Paul. I forgave them."

"But Dean… why?" Paul looked confused. "Why would you forgive them after everything they've done to you?"

"Because they've never lied to me, Paul. They've always been honest. I knew what they were doing and they've already apologised for the way they've treated me. Besides, all five of us are going to check into rehab."

Paul's jaw dropped. "All five of you?"

"Yes. Paul, I never went to rehab. I went on tour instead. I want to follow through on my promise to myself."

His manager sighed. "Well, I can respect that."

"And I hope - and the rest of the guys too - that you'll manage us again. After all, what are we without you?"

Paul stared at Dean. "Do you know what you're asking of me, Dean?"

"No one knows us better than you, Paul. We've gotten used to your management style and you're the only manager we've ever had too. Think of it as our first love."

"You smooth talker you."

"Does that mean you'll do it?"

"Fine. I'll do it. But when are you guys going into rehab?"

"Roman called Dr Foley - the chief medical officer there - and he said we can check in early as tomorrow really."

"That's fast!"

"Yeah but we're okay with it. Nothing much to do anyways."

"Well," Paul said. "Guess I'll have to let the label know. I hope you guys follow through with your promises."

"Trust me. This time, we all will."

* * *

Dean smiled as he watched all four members of the group fussed with their bags. Each men brought at least five bags with them. "Guys, we're not heading a world tour," he chuckled.

"Speak for yourself, Deano," Seth replied. "We need some of these items. My hairdryer, my argan oil, my body deodorant, my-"

"Are you serious, Seth?" Luke asked.

Roman came and handed them forms to fill in. Each member was given a pen and a clipboard to provide details of their health and other basic information. "I'd kiss you, Dean," Roman said. "But I'm in uniform."

Dean laughed. "Might I add that you look hot in that uniform?" He had to control himself though despite the fact that Roman was wearing a light blue top and pants with Nike sports shoes, his black hair secured in a man bun.

"Thank you."

Dean smiled widely. "How many patients have hit on you here? Be honest."

"I'm not sure." Roman grinned. "I lost count."

There was nothing arrogant in his statement just plain teasing and as always Dean found himself being humbled that he was blessed to have met this man in a coffee house in the wee hours of the morning after being kicked out of a bar. "I love you," he said softly.

"I love you too. Why don't you fill up your form? I'll get you guys some bottles of water."

He watched his boyfriend walked off to a hallway before he turned his attention to the form in front of him.

"Dean," Corey whispered.

"Yeah, Core?" he replied softly.

"I've requested to go for counseling for my loss as well."

"I'm proud of you, Core." Dean gripped Corey's shoulder before he continued filling up his form. When he had finished and put down his pen, a familiar voice shouted out, "Fellas!"

All five Steel Hound members looked up to find AJ Styles, lead guitarist of the duo, Y2AJ, walked in. He used to be in a band with Karl and Luke and another member, John Cena called the Club. Upon seeing him, Karl and Luke went up to him and they did their secret hand gestures together.

"AJ," Luke said excitedly. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you guys checked in here," he replied. "Why are you here?"

"We're seeking help."

"Help? You guys don't need help. You need to have more fun."

"It was quite bad, AJ," Seth added. "We were performing badly on stage. We were just caught up in the lifestyle."

"Well, shit. I don't want to be alone."

Karl looked confused. "Alone? What happened to Chris?"

"He's hanging out with Kevin Owens now," AJ said sadly. "I hardly see him. Hey! I know! I'll check in here too!"

Dean's eyes widened. "Ummm… AJ, I'm not sure that's how it works…"

But AJ was at the registration counter. "I want to check in here now!"

The customer service officer's eyes widened. "I…" She tapped on her computer. "Well-"

"It's okay, Sarah," a voice said from behind the band. "We can accept him."

Dean turned around saw a curly haired brunette wearing a doctor's coat over a t-shirt and jeans standing next to Roman who was holding a box. "Hi," he introduced himself. "I'm Dr Mick Foley and welcome to my centre."

"You run this centre?" Corey asked.

"Yes." He smiled at AJ. "You're welcomed to check in here. We have seven slots left."

"Great!" AJ cheered. "I'll call our other friends!"

Dean's jaw dropped. "What? AJ-"

But AJ was on the phone to someone. "Hey! Enzo! Cass and you can come down here to the Faith and Serenity Centre."

"Yes!" Karl cheered. "Just like old times!"

"This is going to be a disaster," Corey said.

AJ was already calling someone else. "Hey, Bobby! Get Kevin and Chris down here now! Faith and Serenity Centre pronto! Bring your clothes and all. We're checking in, baby."

"Dr Foley!" Dean said. "Do something!"

"Hey, Doctor! Thank you for this! I'll make any donation towards this place!"

Dr Foley looked startled. "Umm… that's kind of you, AJ."

"AJ," Seth said. "This isn't a party!"

"You're right, Seth! It's a bash!"

"What? No! AJ, people get treated here for their various addictions."

"Do you have any addiction, AJ?" Dr Foley asked.

"Oh yes, Doctor!" AJ replied. "I'm addicted to beating up John Cena."

Dr Foley was puzzled. "Who?"

"OH MY GOD!" Everyone turned around to see Paul walking towards them. "Are you kidding me? What is he doing here?"

"I am the face that runs this place!" AJ declared.

"Ummm… actually, that's me," Dr Foley said. "I run this place."

"Why did you accept him?" Paul asked Dr Foley. "Are you sure you want him?"

"Well, he has a wild eyed vision of reality and is clearly narcissistic so I don't see why not."

Seth snickered. "That's actually true." He threw his arms around Paul. "I'm glad you're here, Paul."

To Dean's surprise, Paul hugged Seth back. "Me too, Seth."

So maybe Paul treated all of them like his children, Dean decided.

"Why are you here, Paul?" Corey asked.

"It's simple, Core." He turned to Dr Foley. "Dr Foley, I think I can help you out."

"You can?" Dr Foley replied.

"Yes. I have a business proposition for you. You see, I'm a businessman, Dr Foley and I make it a point to know about what kind of facility my clients will be undergoing treatment at. And I realised that your centre needs money badly."

Dr Foley's eyes widened. "Well-"

"So I propose that you allow everyone here-"

"There's more on the way," Dean threw in.

"More?"

"Yep," Luke affirmed. "A bunch of our other peers will be here soon. AJ invited them."

Paul nodded his eyes and rubbed his hands. "How about, Dr Foley, you allow some cameras in this place and film your own version of Celebrity Rehab?"

"No," Dr Foley replied. "Sorry. But no. I've accepted them to _treat_ them not to broadcast their lives on national television."

"Okay. That's fair. But how about you-"

"Wait!" AJ interrupted. "I have an idea! Dr Foley, you allow our pals in and we will throw you a fundraising concert! All proceeds for our show goes to this centre."

Dr Foley seemed to be caving in, Dean noticed. "Well…"

"We'll play three concerts!" Seth agreed. "You'll earn money for this centre and we'll be gaining back our reputation and support from the fans!"

"That does seem reasonable… and we really do need the money…"

Paul looked at him keenly. "Is that a yes?"

Dr Foley nodded. "It's a deal." There were cheers from AJ, Karl, Luke and Seth. "But guys, please I need your promise that you'll cooperate with treatment. My reputation is at stake here."

"They'll behave," Paul promised. "You have my word."

"Alright! Let's hope we all come out of this looking good."

About half an hour later, after drinking the bottled water that Roman distributed and having their forms been given clearance, Bobby Roode, Big Cass, Chris Jericho, Enzo and Kevin Owens walked in with luggages. "Bada Boom rock and roll stars in this room. How you doin?" Enzo shouted.

"Oh boy," Corey said.

"Hey, AJ," Kevin Owens called him. "Guess who else we invited looking all mopey outside Harry's Bar?"

The five men made way only to reveal a furious looking John Cena staring daggers at AJ.

"Oh shit!" AJ said.

John yelled out and pounced on AJ then. Bobby and Seth tried to pull him off AJ who was scrambling.

"Welcome to Rock Rehab," Dean said as he stood next to a shocked Roman. "Day one."

 _ **A/N I apologise for the delay in updating this. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for the favorites/follows/likes. I appreciate it.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Five

"You know how you drink a Jack Daniels?" Seth said. "With admiration and respect. You have to pour it over ice cubes and add a splash of water."

Dean had to grin at Seth's statement as all twelve rockers sat in group therapy with Dr Foley himself on their second day in the centre. They were supposed to talk about why they felt a need to pick up a drink first thing in the morning. "Actually," Dean said, "I either took mine by the bottle or damn it with Coke."

"Yeah," Corey agreed. "Same here. Nothing like drinking it in a highball for me though."

Dr Foley smiled. "Okay but why do you pick it? Stress? Fear?"

Dean laughed. "Habit. I started drinking because of my father. I got used to alcohol and then when I got betrayed by my ex-boyfriend, I drank even more. When I got over him though, I was so used to drinking that I didn't see a need to stop. Until I met my current boyfriend."

"You mean Roman?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded absentmindedly. "Wait. How did you-"

"He visited you those few times you were admitted here for the first time, remember?"

"Oh yeah." He shook his head. "I hope this doesn't go out though. I don't want Roman getting caught up in the media circus. He has his own goals and if word gets out about us both dating, he'd never be able to set about accomplishing them without some camera following him around."

"You really care about him."

"Of course. I'd rather throw my career away than to see him not achieve his dreams."

Dr Foley nodded and scribbled something in his folder. "John. What about you? Why do you pick up your first glass in the morning?"

"Because he was beaten up by me!" AJ announced proudly. "Dean, you talk about accomplishing goals. Well I accomplished mine. I said what I was going to do and that was to beat up John Cena."

John growled.

"AJ, why _did_ you beat up John?" Kevin wanted to know.

"Because it was always about John. John is an amazing singer. Wow he can really play those notes well. His lyrics speak to our hearts." AJ sneered. "Well, his lyrics suck. He sucks."

"AJ, you're going off topic. It's not your turn." Dr Foley looked at John. "John, why do you pick up that glass in the morning?"

"To escape reality," John said softly. "I'm a failure. My rap career did not skyrocket and that band that I loved gone to waste because of an egomaniac."

"I'm the egomaniac?" AJ sputtered. "People like you John are why people like me don't get to succeed. Everything in that band revolved around you. I was sick of it. I earned my spot in that band. I deserved to be the frontman."

"You were not worthy to be frontman. You didn't have what it took!"

"How did you even know that?"

"All you do, AJ, is complain about the things you deserve. Why don't you just work for it? Quit your whining."

They were both standing face to face in the centre of the group circle, staring each other down. Dr Foley stepped in. "Guys, guys, guys. We're going off topic again. Okay, John. Thank you for your answer. Corey, what about you?"

Both AJ and John went back to their seats.

Corey sighed. "I usually drink socially. That was until my wife and I lost our baby." Murmurs of apologies were said. "Anyways, I drank for the same reason Dean did. To block out the pain. But it got so bad that it escalated to the point that I was forcing Dean who had stopped drinking by that point to join me. It wasn't until Dean said he was going to quit the band that it woke all of us in this band up."

Dean pulled Corey in a hug. He was warmed when Corey returned it. Corey was Dean's closest friend in the band. He was like a brother to Dean. It pained him to see him destroy himself but now it made him proud that his best friend was seeking help.

The band had a lot of issues to deal with but they'd make it.

Dean had firm faith in that.

* * *

"Dean, I'm not sure if this is allowed."

Dean grinned at Roman. "Come on, Roman. We haven't done it since I got home. I need you now!"

They were both in Dean's room where he had locked the door after sneaking Roman in. He jumped on Roman, both his legs encircled around his boyfriend's waist. Roman laughed and kissed him then.

Dean had one hand on Roman's shoulder and another snaked around his neck. "I miss this," Roman mumbled as he placed kisses on Dean's closed eyes. "I miss holding you like this."

They fell on the bed, a tangle of arms and legs. "I miss touching you like this," he said, brushing his knuckle against Dean's sensitive spot causing him to arch up. "Damn it, Dean. I missed you like crazy."

"Gosh, Roman. Just show me."

Roman kissed him again, this time the intensity blowing Dean away. Every pore in his body ached for Roman and Roman alone. He pulled on his boyfriend's hair and started to move against him. Roman tore his mouth away. "Fuck, Dean. Are you trying to kill me?"

Incoherent words left his mouth - so high he was - that the Samoan yanked down his pants and proceeded to show him in action how much he loved him.

What the both of them didn't realised was that Joseph was standing outside their door, listening in to their moans of pleasure.

* * *

 _Mine_ , Dr Joseph Namakaeha thought, his heart twisted in jealousy hearing the moans and pants.

He pressed his ear against the door harder.

"Faster, Roman!" he heard Dean saying a bit louder.

He clenched his fist.

There was a shouting that followed with an 'I love you" as well. A moment later, he heard Roman groaning.

It sounded like music to Joseph's ears.

"I don't think I've ever come that hard before," Dean said.

Joseph was livid… and raging. That should be him under Roman panting hard after a moment of pure ecstasy.

 _Oh don't worry_ , he thought. _You're going to be missing those, Diva. You took what's mine. It's time for your payback._

* * *

Roman washed his hands before he proceeded to Joseph's office. Trust Dean to want to get one for the "road".

Something told Roman that it would not be the last time Dean would sneak in a quick session.

Today he was assigned to follow Joseph around and he was already dreading it. He rapped three knocks on his door and entered the room.

Joseph was scribbling down something in a file. He looked up at Roman and smiled. "Just give me a second," he said, his tone a professional one.

Maybe this wouldn't be bad, Roman thought.

Joseph put down the pen and grabbed a few folders on his table and passed them to Roman. "Ready?" he asked.

Roman nodded as he accepted the files. "Yeah."

Joseph was a good doctor, Roman realised as they went see certain patients. He asked about their day, their challenges and what they hoped to accomplish that particular day.

He encouraged them, listened to them patiently and in certain cases, helped them ask themselves questions to get the answers they already knew.

A far cry from who he was a few months back, where he was trying to hit on Roman more times than he could remember.

After visiting all the patients in Ward 5, he invited Roman for lunch at the staff cafeteria. "Come on," he said. "I won't bite. Besides, we're in public and I've changed, Roman. Surely, you can see that."

Roman smiled. "Okay."

* * *

Dean frowned when he saw Roman walking with Joseph towards the staff cafeteria. Corey and him were in the patients lounge, waiting for their meals.

"What's up, Dean?" Corey asked.

"Why is Roman walking with that asshole?" Dean asked.

"Who is he?"

"Joseph."

"The guy who tried to hit on Roman?"

"The one and only." Dean gritted his teeth. "So now they're friends?"

"I'd leave it alone, Dean. They're in a professional environment. Colleagues even. Neither of them would be dumb enough to try anything."

"Why not?" Dean countered. "I snuck Roman into my room for a quick one. Anyone can do anything."

"Dean! How could you do that? Are you trying to get Roman into trouble? He's here for an internship, Dean. I'm pretty sure his grades depend on this."

Dean immediately felt bad. What had he been thinking letting his lust cloud his common sense? "It's not my fault that he looks so damn irresistible."

"He has a point," Seth said, joining them. "Have you seen how some of the patients have been checking him out? And Dean, damn it, Joseph is a fine specimen as well."

"Jeez Seth, thanks," Dean replied. "As if my ego needed that hit. I'm aware of how good looking the man is. They both look good together, damn it."

"Woah Dean. Calm down. Don't let your emotions get the best of you."

"Have you heard anything on this Joseph guy, Seth?" Corey asked. "Since you love flirting about with anyone who has legs."

Seth laughed. "Nothing bad, I can assure you. I actually asked about him because I thought he looked yummy and he seems to be quite popular. Well mannered too."

Dean frowned. "Really?"

"Yeah. No one has a bad thing to say about him."

Insecurity reared its ugly head on Dean.

Joseph in this facility on his best behavior. Joseph who was a top notch doctor.

Dean was just a patient… with demons to battle.

Inside this place, he was no rock star; he was just a man with issues to face.

* * *

"I remember the first time I was high," Dean said later after lunch for the second group therapy with just Corey, Seth and him, "I was practically wasted after drinking Jägermeister. I actually fell off stage."

Seth burst out laughing. "I remember that."

"The next day, I drank even more of that stuff and then I just sat down and took a nap on stage. Mind you, this was when we just started playing to sold out arenas before going mainstream. People seemed to like it. And we liked to drink and party hard. It was just a happy time."

"I remember drinking a bottle of Jack Daniel's on stage," Corey mused. "Then Matt asked me for a sip and once he took one, he passed it to Jeff who passed it to Dean and then to you."

"Alcohol gave us the courage to say things we were too afraid to say to each other at that point," Seth said. "Even Paul was appalled when we told him off a few times. We were rampant and wild."

Dr Foley nodded. "Was there a reason for this behavior?"

"Not really," Dean replied. "It's all part of being a rock star. The sex, drugs and rock and roll. I'm not ashamed to say we've done some wild things."

"The groupies," Seth threw in. "The cocaines and heroines and ecstasys. The countless of booze. Fuck we once had sex in the same room with people we picked up after the show that I remember Dean pulling out too quick and his cum just shot on my partner."

Dean laughed. "Yeah that was hilarious. I think we were only twenty four then."

"You feel like nothing can touch you when you're touring or surrounded by your peers. In the end, that's what life became for us. Partying twenty four seven. We started to keep people at bay with our rock star attitude. No one dared to mess with us."

Dr Foley scribbled down more notes. "Okay. Were there any significant moments in your lives where you wanted to be better… to turn your life around. Dean?"

Dean leaned against his chair. "Roman. When I met Roman at his work place for the first time, when he started talking a bit about his life and his goals, I just knew that I didn't want to let him go… that I wanted to better myself. He just has this effect on me till today. He wasn't fazed by my fame. He treated me like I was his equal and somewhere down the line, I fell for him."

"Because of his character?"

"Yeah. He was gentle, kind and patient with me. He even put my feelings before his. Admittedly, I am spoiled but he just… all I can tell you is that I'm really glad I met him. And I don't know what I'd do without him. If we should ever break up, I think I'd be an empty shell of a person without him."

Dr Foley nodded. "Has he ever made you feel bad about yourself?"

"Not once. He's so full of warmth. The first time we slept together, I was drunk as hell. He was looking at me with such concern that I all but carried him to his bed and started taking him with blind lust. There was nothing romantic about it and even though he responded to my touches, I still feel horrible."

"And how was he like after that?"

"I woke up and found him with bruises. I was too rough and it tore me that our first time was like that. He actually comforted me when I apologised to him. That's how selfless he is."

There was silence as Dr Foley wrote more on his folder. The more he talked about it, the more Dean felt crappy. It was the worst thing he had ever done and he never forgave himself for it. How could he?

The truth was Roman Reigns could do so much better than him. And right now, better seemed to be in the form of Joseph.

 _ **A/N Dean seems to be all up in his feelings. It is natural to feel ashamed about one's addiction but it's part of the recovery process and hopefully Dean will overcome it.**_

 _ **Thank you for your favorites/follows/reviews. They mean so much to me :-)**_


	6. Chapter 6

Six

"So Corey's birthday is coming up in three days," Seth said to Dean as they walked back to the centre. He had accompanied Dean to smoke near the garden even though smoking was not allowed on the grounds.

"Let's throw him a small party," Dean replied. "We could use the private lounge area."

"Sounds great." He looked at his watch. "I'll figure something out. What do you have now?"

"Individual counselling."

"Well, good luck."

Dean thanked his friend and made way to the counselling room. He was already five minutes late. He knocked on the door and entered only to find Joseph staring at him. "Aaaah have a seat, Dean."

Dean glared at him.

"Yes?" Joseph said. "You're five minutes late by the way."

"Sorry. I was-"

"Smoking. I know."

"Are you spying on me, doctor?"

"Please don't flatter yourself, Dean. I'm not spying on you. I happen to use the route of the garden to cross over here and I saw you with your two toned friend." Joseph smiled. "Please have a seat."

Dean sat down hesitantly. _Do not blow this_ , he told himself. _You're doing this to get better_.

"Let's continue from where you left off with Dr Foley earlier this afternoon, shall we? You were talking about an incident with Roman and you."

He froze. Joseph would read about his first time with Roman. "I don't wish to-"

"Rough now were we?" Joseph said. "And you mentioned being unable to forgive yourself. Well, you shouldn't. Normal people do not go around behaving like that. You need to address the root cause of why you did that."

"I was drinking," Dean answered through gritted teeth. "And alcohol makes you do things-"

"Of course it does. That's why it's called liquid courage. It impacts the circuits on your brain. Too much of it makes you aggressive and violent. Makes you see things different than what they are. Maybe subconsciously that's what you wanted to do to him."

"Are you crazy?" Why would I want to do that to Roman? I love him."

"Well, you sure have a funny way of showing it." Joseph flipped to the next page. "Your father is an alcoholic."

"Yeah."

"Hmmm… what's this? You were molested too?"

Dean stood up. "This conversation is over."

"Actually it's a counselling, Dean. So please sit."

Dean sat down again. He was starting to feel nervous now. "Can't we talk about something else?"

"Sure. We can talk about how you don't deserve someone like Roman."

"That's crossing the line."

"Not really. I think it's the truth and you'll have to face it eventually. You're a selfish human being, Dean Ambrose. The world does not revolve around you. Someone was trying to help you and what do you do? You took his care and threw it in his face and violated him in the most intimate way."

That gutted Dean. But he couldn't deny the truth of it. Memories of that night flooded his mind: Roman squirming initially but slowly adapting to it, biting him on his upper body region, how hard Dean had gripped him as he plundered deep, raw with roughness-

" _D-Dean…" Roman panted as Dean bit his neck. "I've… I've never-"_

 _Dean kissed him hard on the lips and whispered sweet nothings to encourage him as he thrusted_ -

"Are you still with me, Dean?" Joseph asked.

Dean looked up and nodded dumbly. "I… I didn't mean to… I…"

"Was there any chance that it was Roman's first time?"

For the first time since he entered rehab, Dean had no idea how to respond. "Can I be excused?"

Joseph nodded. "Sure."

Dean stood up and walked out of the room. He saw Roman from far helping out Dr Foley with some boxes and smiling warmly at something the curly haired doctor was saying. The rock star felt ill to his stomach.

How could he ever forgive himself now?

* * *

Roman stared at Dean across the table at the guest cafeteria with concern. The auburn haired man was seemingly miles away in thoughts. "Dean?" he asked for the second time. "Are you okay?"

He reached out and held Dean's hand. Dean looked at him startled. "Yeah… I'm okay. Sorry, I had lots on my mind."

"That's pretty obvious. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," his boyfriend mumbled.

"Bullshit, Dean. What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I'm just umm… it's hard you know when you want something to drink."

Roman looked at him with concern. "Hey, you can do this okay? You're stronger than the bottle."

"Yeah I am."

Roman leaned over with the intention to kiss him but Dean moved away so quick that Roman only got his cheek. He squeezed his hand. "It'll be okay, baby boy. I promise. I'm so proud of you for trying."

Dean stood up. "I think I'm heading back to my room."

Roman followed him as he walked out. "I'll walk you back."

"No, that's alright. I'll be fine."

Roman frowned. "Dean…"

"I'll see you tomorrow."

Dean didn't even kiss him. He just walked off towards the dormitory area.

Roman felt a mixture of confusion and sadness. Why was Dean so far away? He headed towards the parking lot when he heard a horn.

He paused and found Joseph in his car. "Hey. Need a lift?"

Roman shook his head. "No, I'm fine."

"Come on. It's not a marriage proposal. It's just a lift."

The centre was quite a distance from the house Dean and him stayed though. Roman nodded and headed towards the car.

* * *

"Nobody drank as much as Dean," Seth said. "Nobody passed out as much as Dean."

Dean laughed. "That's true."

They were having group therapy with Dr Foley on their third day. "So it was always alcohol for all of you?"

"No. Not always. There were drugs involved too as we mentioned yesterday. But I didn't take those. I loved alcohol more than anything."

"We were like a bomb waiting to explode," Seth added. "You could walk into our parties and there'd be tupperwares of cocaine… bottles of vodka and whiskey… we were really living the rockstar life."

Dr Foley nodded. "Okay. Let's talk about-"

"My favorite drink has to be Jack Daniel's," Dean interrupted. "I love the taste of Jack Daniel's. Tequila too. Fuck I love that. No Mount Gay for me."

Seth laughed. "Same here. I'd also add vodka. I don't care what brand. I love vodka."

Corey nodded. "We were drinking those like water."

Dr Foley scribbled something. "Okay guys… let's talk about your typical day."

* * *

Dean lit up his cigarette in the garden.

When he looked to his left, he found Jack Swagger, lead singer of The Patriots sitting down and smoking too.

They had a couple of one night stands here and there when their bands crossed paths. Most of the time they did it to comfort each other when the darkness of their past overcame them. Both have a tendency to overthink, certain scars unable to heal deep within them.

Whilst Dean managed to see the bright side of things, Jack had anger management issues.

Jack drank just as much as Dean did. His parents were deadbeats who sold drugs just get by. They made him drink at eleven because according to them, "there was nothing in the fridge."

"Jack?" he said as he approached the blonde.

Jack looked up and smiled at him. "Dean!"

"What are you doing here?"

"Management forced me to. I punched some paparazzi in anger. Now I have to stay in for anger management."

Dean smiled. "I'm in here for alcoholism. The whole band is."

Jack laughed. "I'm saw Seth. And Enzo and Cass. It's like Rock Rehab."

"Yeah it is."

Jack took out a small flask from his jacket and sipped. Dean was taken aback. "Aaah." Jack looked at him. "Want some? Bourbon."

"Ummm I'm not sure… how did you manage that in?"

"I have my ways."

Dean bid Jack a good day and started to walk towards the direction of the cafeteria. He found Roman laughing quietly at something Dr Foley was talking at an outdoor table.

" _Dean… Dean…" Roman cried out. "I… I… Babe… I'm quite-"_

 _He cut Roman off by giving him a kiss, his tongue teasing Roman's._

Dean felt sad. He didn't know what to think anymore. Joseph was right. He was such a selfish man.

While he hadn't known it was Roman's first time, the Samoan certainly tried to let the auburn man know. So consumed by lust fueled by the alcohol was he that he took him like an animal.

He quietly made his way to his room. All this over thinking was making him tired.

* * *

He woke up to gentle kisses being placed on his face. Roman was leaning over him, his left hand on his waist.

"Hey."

Roman smiled at him and it melted his heart. "Hey," he replied. "You feeling better?"

"A little."

"Something's bothering you."

That wasn't a question. "It's nothing. You know how it is. You crave that liquid so much it consumes your thoughts. Just talking about it makes me want a sip of one."

"I understand."

"Ro-Roman…"

His boyfriend stroked his hair, gazing at him with such tenderness. "Yeah."

"I know we've never spoken about it before but was… was the first time we slept together _your_ first time?"

Roman kept quiet for a bit before slowly nodding his head. "Yeah. Why?"

"Just wondering."

His boyfriend was now stroking his cheek. "I'm not angry with you. I mean I was when I first woke up the next morning but that was then. It's not something I go back and think about. It happened and it's over."

"I feel like an asshole, Roman. You were trying to tell me but I didn't listen-"

"Dean, it's okay. You were drunk. You couldn't have known better. Instead of remembering that night, how about we make new memories instead?"

"...What are you doing here anyways? Don't you have rounds to make with doctors?"

"I have five minutes of my break left." He made a sad face, teasing Dean. "Are you chasing me away?"

"...Maybe."

"Should I go find a new boyfriend then?"

"No." He pulled Roman down to him for a quick intense kiss. "I may think you deserve someone better but I'm much too selfish to let you go."

"I'm not allowing you to let me go. So there." Dean smiled when Roman kissed his forehead. "Alright I'll get out of your hair. See you later."

He left the room. Dean sat up and bit his lip. How could Roman forgive him when Dean couldn't forgive himself?

* * *

 _Every time I see you oh I try to hide away  
But when we meet it seems I can't let go  
Every time you leave the room _

_I feel I'm fading like a flower_

"Hey, Dean."

He looked up to find Corey looking at him with a slight frown. Dean out his acoustic guitar aside. He had been playing in the garden, trying to calm himself. "Hey, Core."

His best friend sat beside him. "What's wrong? You've been down since yesterday."

"Roman's the nicest man I know."

Corey nodded. "That's true."

"He's got a huge heart. The man puts other people before himself. Other people's feelings. My feelings… Core, I made a mistake."

"Is it about what you shared yesterday with Dr Foley?"

"Yeah."

"Have you talked to Roman, Dean?"

"It was his first time and I ruined it." Dean laughed without humor. "I don't know what to do, Core. Why can't I forgive myself?"

"Dean, you're not a bad person."

"You're right, Core. I'm a selfish person."

"That's not what I meant."

Dean grabbed his guitar and started to walk away..

"Where are you going?" Corey asked.

"Therapy!"

* * *

Dean bit his thumb as Joseph flipped his file. "So. Let's talk about your drinking."

"Alright," Dean replied. Seemed like an easy topic.

"What's your favorite drink?"

"Depends. In general, Jack Daniel's and tequila. I also used to drink Colt 45 and Captain Morgan Spiced Rum. From time to time until recently Jägermeister too."

"What was the last thing you drank?"

"Tequila I think. Someone spiked the fruit punch at my birthday party. I got wasted and jumped on the table, singing. Roman was mad about it at first but thank God Corey told him about it."

Joseph smiled and wrote down on the file. "I'm feeling thirsty. You want an iced tea?"

Dean shrugged. "Sure."

He handed Dean a plastic bottle and flipped the file. "Let's talk about the first time you drank."

"Oh." Dean took a sip of his iced tea. It tasted delicious. "I was ten."

"Ten?" Joseph looked surprised.

Dean nodded. "Yup. My old man poured me a glass of bourbon and gave it to me. Taunted me. I wanted to prove to him so I drank up every last drop. Then he gave me another one."

"That's horrible. So you did the same the following week?"

He finished drinking the bottle. "Yep. Hey, Doc, you have another one? This drink's great. They should serve this in the cafeteria."

"I don't know about that. So, let's continue about that night at Roman's place..."

When Dean left the counselling room after his session ended, he walked back to his room, even more ashamed.

Also he felt buzzed. That tea… it couldn't be… could it?

Jack was waiting for him inside. "There you are," he said, smiling. "How did your counselling go?"

Dean shook his head."I think I drank iced tea. But I feel weird."

"Anything significant?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because you look like you're going to cry, Dean."

"Something I shared in counselling yesterday that's been haunting me… it hasn't left me still and I-"

Jack pulled him closer and started to kiss him. He ran his hand from Dean's chest to the bulge of his pants where he massaged it. "Aaah…" Dean panted. "Aaaah…"

Jack tightened his arm around Dean, their lips exploring one another. He felt placed Jack's hands beneath his waistband and started to stroke him.

"Jack-"

"Ssshhhhh… you need this, Dean."

There was a burning need within him to soothe the beast inside; the beast that held him its grip since yesterday.

 _I'm the demon alcohol_

 _Demon alcohol_

 _I'll get you_

Their lips met again before Jack whispered some dirty words to help him reached his peak.

Dean shouted out Roman's name and Jack held close with his right arm all through his orgasm, whispering over and over that it was okay.

But it wasn't okay.

What the hell had he just done?

 _ **A/N The plot thickens… Whilst it wasn't a popular choice to make, it is vital to the storyline so I assure you it's not going to be a typical "You cheated on me; now I'm breaking up with you" story.**_

 _ **Thank you for the favorite/follows/reviews. I appreciate it.**_


	7. Chapter 7

Seven

 _I'm sick and tired of your excuses_

 _Can't deal with living anymore_

 _I'll give you reasons to continue_

 _While you lie writing on the floor_

 _I'll wash away your lies_

 _And have you hypnotized_

 _There'll be no compromise today_

 _I'll share your life of shame_

 _I think you know my name_

 _I'll introduce myself today_

 _I'm the demon alcohol_

 _Demon alcohol_

 _I'll get you_

 _I'm sick and tired of resolutions_

 _You've quit me time and time again_

 _Don't speak of suicide solutions_

 _You took my hand, I'm here to stay_

 _This time it's you or me_

 _I'll never set you free_

 _There'll be no compromise today_

 _So satisfy your lust_

 _Too much can't be enough_

 _I'll introduce myself today_

 _I'm the demon alcohol_

 _The demon alcohol_

 _Aha_

 _Demon alcohol_

 _Demon alcohol_

 _Let's party_

Roman stared at Dean, his brain trying to analyse his boyfriend's choice of song for open mic - something Dr Foley organised for the rock stars in house to let out their stress. He felt that music helped them to speak out their frustrations so hence open mic was introduced every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday.

There were cat calls - mostly from the rockers - and claps as Dean stepped off stage. Roman started to head towards him but Dean made a beeline and headed towards the garden. Something was wrong. It was as if he was going out of his way to avoid Roman and that hurt.

 _Oh no you don't, Dean_ , he thought. _You're not running away from me_.

Dean was smoking near a bench in the corner of the garden near a street lamp. His face was twisted in anger as he exhaled his cigarette smoke.

"Dean Ambrose, are you trying to ditch me?" Roman asked.

His reaction was what threw Roman off: he looked like he had been caught doing something wrong.

"Nice song," Roman said slowly as he sat beside him. "You should sing _Patience_ the next time. It's my favorite."

Dean said nothing.

Now he was worried. He grabbed Dean's free hand and squeezed it. "Dean, is something wrong? You know you can tell me anything."

Dean shook his head, his eyes now a little red as if he was holding back tears. "Roman… I did… I did something wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"I did something with someone… short of… sex."

Roman looked at Dean, his body now tensed. "W-when?"

"Last night." Dean started to wipe tears that were streaming down his face. "I'm a mess, Roman. I was feeling so low after my counselling and… and he happened to be in my room to visit me and it happened."

Roman turned around and looked at the floor. "You know him?"

"Very well. We used to have one night stands when our paths crossed; mostly to comfort each other… that was our thing. He's the lead singer for The Patriots. He's in here to deal with his anger issues."

Now what? Roman had never been in a situation like this before. He was frustrated and hurt about what Dean had done. _Keep calm_ , he told himself. _He said he was low. Get to the bottom of that first._ "Why were you feeling low?"

"Because one of the topics we discussed during individual counselling was you. Our first time and-"

"Dean, I'm not angry with you. I've told you that. What's done is done. Just leave it alone and don't regret it."

"But I can't forgive myself, Roman." Dean stood up and paced in front of him. "I'm a horrible person. You were trying to give me your comfort and I… I took it out on you."

"Dean, calm down, okay?" Roman said slowly. "When we slept together that night, did you wanted to hurt me?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Okay. You wanted to show me your love, right?"

"There was that. And lust."

"Good. So as long as you didn't want to hurt me, I'm okay with it. I'm way over it, in fact and I need you to do the same too. I need you to get over it, Dean. It's clearly eating you up."

"I can't! I'm a bad person!"

"People make mistakes, Dean. That doesn't mean you're a bad person. One mistake doesn't erase all the good things you've done. I've never held it against you, Dean. I only asked that you seeked help which you did the first time around. Please. Find it in yourself to let it go. I promise you I'm not angry about it."

"But I cheated on you, Roman. Can you forgive me for that? I think not."

"Dean-"

"Remember when I thought you were cheating on me with Joseph?"

"Yeah but what does that have-"

"Well I slapped you hard for it."

"Dean-"

"So I ask you do the same to me."

"I will do no such thing."

"Then we break up."

"What-"

"We need some space you and I and-"

"No," Roman said, standing up himself now. "No spaces, Dean. No breakups. I said I would not allow you to let me go and I meant it. Running away is not going to solve anything nor is me giving you space. Yes, you've hurt me but I'll move on from it and so will you. Just please come to me if you need someone to talk to. I know I'm your boyfriend but I want to be your best friend too."

Dean shook his head. "Why do you care about me so much, Roman? Why do you love me?"

Roman pulled him into his arms and just held him.

* * *

Dean was walked back to his room by Roman. It was free and easy now so there was nothing much he could do.

Roman's reaction surprised him. He had not expected him to treat him with such kindness. Then again, Roman was also the same guy who had comforted _him_ after their first night.

They reached his door. Dean rubbed his right foot against the carpet nervously. "Do… Do you want to come in?"

Roman smiled. "Yeah, that'd be nice."

"Great."

Dean opened the door and Roman walked in. He really didn't know what to do once the door had closed.

Roman cornered him near the door and he found himself being kissed by the sweetest man he had ever known. Dean placed his hands on Roman's shoulders and found himself drowning in his love.

Perhaps it was his need to erase every memory of last night or their first time but either way, Dean needed Roman badly.

He ran his hand through his boyfriend's hair, letting it down the way he loved it: in loose waves cascading down the back like a waterfall.

"Dean…" Roman said, breaking the kiss. "Are you sure?"

His eyes met Roman's and he nodded.

Roman took off his uniform top and continued kissing him passionately. Dean moaned into his boyfriend's mouth.

Dean wanted to kiss Roman till the end of time.

Somehow they ended up on the bed. Impatiently they both discarded their clothes. The contact of Roman's skin against his made him gasped.

It felt new to him.

Maybe it was because after such a beautiful gesture - his boyfriend's moving words - that seemed to spear through his soul straight to his heart.

Dean didn't want to let go of Roman. Not after what happened in the garden this afternoon.

And it was only his fourth day here.

Roman was whispering loving words, sweet nothings into his ear… placing barely there kisses on his lips, neck and shoulders.

It was enough to make him tremble with sheer bliss. This was the purest form of love he had ever experienced with possibly the most beautiful person he knew.

His demons - one called insecurity and the other called guilt - had been slayed.

The knight who had slayed them was a six feet three Samoan man with a heart of gold who was reaffirming his love in his ear.

* * *

During group counselling with all rockers in the evening, Kevin Owens was bragging about his accomplishments in music; a topic off course which Dr Foley tried desperately to get them back on track.

"I mean I can play the guitar as fast as Jimi Hendrix," he said.

"You lie!" Seth retorted.

"I do not lie, Seth Rollins. You're the liar with your claim of playing twenty seven notes per second!"

"I never made any claim like that. That was misquoted. I dare you to play like me though: down pick or plectrum plus fingerstyle instead of that strumming crap you go on and on-"

"I think we need to get back to my question," Dr Foley interrupted. "How your drinking affected your music?"

"Well," Dean said. "I passed out on stage a few times. I also walked off mid performances too. I'd hide at the back and take a few swigs of JD and head back to continue."

Seth sighed. "Me too. I passed out a couple of times. Fans didn't seem to care. Neither did you guys."

"You do realise that we were all strung out, right?" Corey replied.

Dean laughed. "Dude, I was too busy trying to remember my lyrics. Look, Doc, we just didn't give a damn about what was happening. We so caught up in the seductive lifestyle that rock and roll offered."

"Cena," AJ said suddenly. "Man, I'm sorry."

Cena looked surprised. "You're what?"

"I'm sorry. For uh… kicking you out of the band."

Everyone looked stunned… including Dr Foley. "Wow, AJ… that's rather mature of you," the doctor said.

"I listened to your album and dude, you suck!" AJ continued.

John gritted his teeth. "You asshole…"

AJ cackled and high fived Chris. He stood up and bent down to face a seated John. "You can't see me, John. You can't-"

John pulled his hair and AJ yelped.

"Fellas, fellas!" Dr Foley said. "Stop it. You're here to resolve your issues!"

"My time is now, AJ!" John snapped. "The train doesn't stop rolling for me."

Seth laughed and nudged Corey who did not find it amusing.

"Let's talk about Corey's birthday party!" Karl said.

"Oh yes," Kevin replied sarcastically. "Let's!"

Corey looked surprised. "What?"

"Karl, you idiot. It's a surprise!" Seth said.

"Oops!" Luke added. "Wait that's today right?"

Corey laughed. "It's actually on Saturday."

"I asked catering to set up the food at seven."

"It's five now!" Seth said.

"Guess we have a party to go to," Dr Foley chuckled.

"You're invited too, Doc."

"Thanks."

"As long as there's no Spongebob, I'm okay," Corey said.

Seth gulped.

* * *

Roman headed to the Lavender Lounge, a private lounge that was usually used for staff birthdays. Dean had sent him a text message inviting him to Corey's party and he knew that it would not end in a disaster this time because they were in a rehab.

The sight of Dean sitting on a chair greeted him when he walked in. His boyfriend's eyes met his and he started to count into the microphone:

 _1,2,1,2,3,4_

He whistled and continued:

 _Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you_

 _I'm still alright to smile_

 _Girl, I think about you every day now_

 _Was a time when I wasn't sure_

 _But you set my mind at ease_

 _There is no doubt_

 _You're in my heart now_

 _Said, woman, take it slow_

 _It'll work itself out fine_

 _All we need is just a little patience_

 _Said, sugar, make it slow_

 _And we come together fine_

 _All we need is just a little patience_

 _(patience)_

 _Mm, yeah_

 _I sit here on the stairs_

 _'Cause I'd rather be alone_

 _If I can't have you right now_

 _I'll wait, dear_

 _Sometimes I get so tense_

 _But I can't speed up the time_

 _But you know, love_

 _There's one more thing to consider_

 _Said, woman, take it slow_

 _And things will be just fine_

 _You and I'll just use a little patience_

 _Said, sugar, take the time_

 _'Cause the lights are shining bright_

 _You and I've got what it takes_

 _To make it, We won't fake it,_

 _I'll never break it_

 _'cause I can't take it_

He whistled again and continued singing:

 _...little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah_

 _need a little patience, yeah_

 _just a little patience, yeah_

 _some more patience, yeah_

 _need some patience, yeah_

 _could use some patience, yeah_

 _gotta have some patience, yeah_

 _all it takes is patience,_

 _just a little patience_

 _is all you need_

Roman smiled, his heart literally swooning. Maybe there was a benefit dating a rockstar. He watched Dean hop off this stool and sauntered towards him. Roman met him halfway and kissed him. "You made it," Dean said.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," he replied, leaning in for another kiss. How much he loved this man in his arms right now.

Dean leaned closer and whispered, "We can always go for a second round… a quick one."

Roman laughed. "Won't your friends notice we're missing?"

"Nothing I can't come up a reasonable excuse for. How does the garden sound to you? There's a secluded area."

"You are a bad influence on me." Roman paused. "Okay."

Dean's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

* * *

Dean found Roman lowering him on the marble bench near the apple orchard the centre had been growing as part of therapy for stress management. This was possibly the most exciting thing he'd ever done.

Even alcohol didn't compare to the thrill of Roman wanting to make love to him outdoor.

"You like that?" Roman whispered in his ear seductively as his left hand stroked him underneath the waistband of his Nike Bermuda pants.

"Yeah," Dean gasped as he felt Roman move painfully slow. "Faster, Roman."

"Aren't you an impatient one?"

"Only impatient when it comes to you," Dean replied gruffly before pulling Roman down for an open mouthed kiss.

He smiled in satisfaction when Roman moaned into his mouth. The strokes became fast gradually and Dean felt his body arching up.

Roman bit his neck.

"Harder, Roman!" he begged.

His boyfriend obeyed and jumble of words - mostly nonsense - came out from his mouth but Roman didn't seemed to notice, biting the flesh near his collarbone now.

How did Dean get so lucky with him, he'll never know.

His boyfriend's lips claimed his again. Dean moved impatiently and Roman seemed to have gotten the message as his pace quickened.

He tore his mouth away from Roman's and came then, his boyfriend's name on his lips. Roman smiled and kissed him gently.

Dean feverishly returned the kiss back.

A pair of eyes were glaring at them from far.

* * *

Dean had individual counselling the next morning as he was out of town. Joseph was not present but according to Dr Hall - his relief - he had left Dean three bottles of iced tea.

"That's nice of him," Dean replied.

"So let's talk about Roman."

"Sure."

"Aside from being your boyfriend, you mentioned that he made you want to be a better person."

"Yeah," Dean sipped his tea. "Roman inspires me. He brings meaning to my life. Before him, I just lived my life freely. With no limits. He actually made me realise that there's a purpose to it. Makes me feel excitement in a positive way."

"Any excitement in particular?"

"Well simple stuff like holding hands, eating together, taking walks..."

"He'll be graduating soon."

"Yeah. Behavioral Health and Human Services."

"Do you ever wished you went back to school?"

"...not really. School is not for me."

"What does his graduating mean to you?"

"Well that he's made it. That he can strike it off his list of goals."

"What are _your_ goals?"

"Mine? I guess I have accomplished all I wanted to do. There's nothing left. I have a career that I love; a man I can proudly call mine; a dream home… what else could I possibly want?"

"Do you feel that your partying days ended so soon?"

"...well…. Umm… I guess so. But it had to come to an end sooner or later."

"Why?"

"Well, age for one. We're thirty years old men."

"That's still young."

"And Roman. I don't want to disappoint him. I've already disappointed him once. I don't want to do so again."

"Would you like to share that?"

"No. It's over so there's no reason why I should dwell on it."

"Okay."

By the time session ended, Dean had already drank finish the three bottles. He felt lightheaded as he walked to his room. Roman was in there - tidying up the place - and he smiled when he saw Dean.

"Hey. Thought I'd surprised you," he said.

"Hmmm…" Dean felt sleepy. He crawled into bed and closed his eyes.

"Dean?" Roman said. "Babe, you okay?"

"Love you too, Roman…"

He fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Roman stared at Dean, puzzled. That must have been one counselling session. He sat down on the bed and kissed his cheek before the smell hit his nose.

It smelt of alcohol.

But that made no sense. There was no alcohol in this place.

Dean began to snore.

No. Dean wouldn't… Roman had faith in him. He wanted to get well. He was so adamant on his recovery that he would not let anything stand in his way including that of his band. Which meant someone had given him something.

But what?

And most importantly… who?

 _ **A/N Roman's love for Dean is something that warms my heart. I hope it did the same to yours too. Thank for your favorite/follows/reviews. :-)**_


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

Dean's blue eyes squinted in the dark at the bedside clock. Eleven pm. His head was pounding bad.

Hangover.

He felt a weight beside him and he rolled over. Roman was sleeping beside him, his back facing Dean.

He slowly got up - not wanting to disturb Roman - and held his forehead in his hand. An audible groan escaped his lips when the pain intensified.

"Dean?" he heard mumbled sleepily behind him. "You're up?"

"Yeah I'm up." He lied down again. "My head hurts. It's similar to a hangover."

"That's because I think you are having one."

"What?"

"I was leaning over to kiss you when I smelt alcohol and-"

"But I didn't touch a single drop!"

"I know, babe. I trust you. But I need to know what your drank before you came here."

"Iced tea."

"Was it from the cafeteria?"

"No. Joseph gave it to me. In plastic bottles."

"You were having sessions with Joseph?"

"Yeah. Individual counselling."

Dean watched Roman roll over. His heart sank. "Roman… are you angry with me?"

He watched Roman quickly rolled over. "No, of course not."

"You don't think that Joseph…"

"It's mere coincidence."

Was it? But Joseph would be crossing lines of he did give Dean a drink like that…

"Here." Roman handed him some aspirin he had taken out from his bag. "These will help."

He stared at his boyfriend wordlessly.

* * *

Roman stormed towards Joseph's office the next morning, his fists clenched. He knocked and entered the office where Joseph was in a tight tank top which showed off his muscular cuttings of his arms and chest.

"Roman," he greeted when Roman slammed the door. "To what do I owe the honor of your visit?"

"Cut the crap, Joseph," Roman snapped. "What the hell were you giving Dean to drink?"

"Iced tea."

"Iced tea or Long Island Iced Tea? Pretty sure it's the latter."

Roman's stance was an imposing one as he stood face to face with Joseph.

"Did anyone ever tell you that you look hot when you're angry?" Joseph said.

"I'm warning you: stay away from Dean."

"It's not Dean I want, Roman. It's you."

"You're still at it with this crap?"

"Crap? Loving you is a blessing, Roman."

Roman took a step back. "Stop it, Joseph. I thought you said you've changed."

"My feelings for you are for all time." Joseph smirked. "You can be angry with me all you want but who do you think they'll believe, Roman: an alcoholic who had a relapse or me… a well renowned doctor?"

"You won't get away with this," Roman said testily.

Joseph sat down on his chair, leaning back. He looked like he had won the jackpot. "Oh but I will. And if you know what's best for your so-called boyfriend, you'll do exactly what I say."

Roman left the office, rage boiling within him.

He heard some singing in the distance:

 _I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day  
I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day_

"Roman!" he heard someone call his name but he continued walking past the garden to the cafeteria.

All he could see was red.

* * *

Dean had been singing with Corey and Seth in the garden when Roman stormed past them, his handsome face twisted in anger.

He called out his name but Roman seemed lost in his thoughts.

Roman rarely got angry.

Even Corey seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Wow. I wonder what's wrong with Roman? He's usually so cheerful."

Dean's heart went out to Roman. He hated seeing him upset. He would have gone after him but he had group therapy in five minutes. It was their sixth one but they were all making progress.

"What are you guys doing for open mic?" Seth asked, interrupting Dean's thoughts.

" _November Rain_ ," Dean replied. "I love that song. I actually sang it for Roman once and he ran. Disappeared on me."

"That was before you got together, right?"

"Oh yeah."

Corey smiled. "Ironically I had a Guns N Roses' song in mind: _Sweet Child of Mine_."

"Great choice. Seth?"

Seth stretched his arms. " _Sacrifice_ by Creed."

"Haven't heard that song in ages."

"I haven't _played_ that song in ages."

The rest of the rockers were already there. Dean found Karl and Luke sitting with AJ, talking.

"Do you guys get the feeling that Karl and Luke will leave us soon?" Corey whispered.

Seth nodded. "Sometimes."

Dr Foley stepped in. "Hi everyone. How are you this morning?"

"Great," Kevin remarked. "Thanks for rooming Chris and me."

AJ frowned. "I didn't know we could bunk."

Dr Foley grinned. "You never asked."

Dean leaned forward. "Can Roman bunk with me? I know he's just an intern-"

"Consider it done."

Dean laughed. "Really?"

"Yep." Dr Foley smiled. "I like Roman. He's a great guy."

"Yes… he is."

"John, let's bunk!" AJ proposed.

"Why would I bunk with you - the guy who kicked me out of a band I loved with my heart and soul?"

"Call it a truce."

"Bada boom biggest liar in the room!" Enzo yelled. "How you doin?"

AJ glowered at him.

"Enzo, you shut your mouth, you stupid idiot," Chris said. "Stay out of AJ's business."

"I will when you stop carrying his balls. How you doin?"

"You-"

Dr Foley immediately stood up. "Let's try something different today, shall we? You guys are all rockstars. I want you to sing me a verse or chorus of what you're feeling or thinking right now. We'll start with you, Seth."

Seth grinned before he sang: _Take me down  
To the paradise city  
Where the grass is green  
And the girls are pretty  
Oh, won't you please take me home_

Dr Foley nodded. "Interesting. Corey?"

Corey mulled over his choice. He took a breath and sang: _Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven?  
Would it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven?  
I must be strong  
And carry on  
'Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven_

Dr Foley smiled. "Thank you, Corey." He scribbled notes. "Dean?"

Dean already knew his choice: _Baby, you're the meaning in my life  
You're the inspiration  
You bring feeling to my life  
You're the inspiration  
Wanna have you near me  
I wanna have you hear me saying  
No one needs you more than I need you_

"I'm sure Roman will appreciate that song. John?"

John nodded and bellowed: _The hurt inside is fading  
This shit's gone way too far.  
All this time I've been waiting  
No I can not grieve anymore.  
For once inside awaking.  
I'm done, I'm not a whore.  
You've taken everything and, oh, I cannot give anymore._

AJ burst out laughing. "Awww poor John. Cannot give anymore?" he mocked. "I thought you would not go quietly into the night?"

"AJ," Dr Foley called. "It's your turn."

"Oh I'm ready." He cleared his throat and started: _Your time is up, my time is now  
You can't see me, my time is now  
It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin' now  
You can't see me, my time is now!_

John jumped to his feet. "That's my song!"

"It is?" AJ feigned innocence. "Nooooo!"

"Sit down please the two of you," Dr Foley ordered. "AJ, please stop provoking John. Chris, it's your turn."

Chris didn't waste time: _I wake up from a deep sleep  
You're all weak  
You're living in the agony of defeat  
I am the master of your whole heap  
I am the pack that flock ya like sheep  
Step into the town and break the wall down  
Your heart beat is the only sound  
Step into the light and then you'll know  
You were stopped and dropped by the Walls of Jericho_

"That was beautiful, Chris!" Kevin cheered.

"No, man. You're beautiful."

Dr Foley was actually smiling fondly at them.

 _A life on trial a sad refrain  
A man's denial of pain sustained  
He can't control the deepening hole  
He feels true peace with rage unleashed_

"Good selection, Kevin," Dr Foley praised.

Chris was looking at him in awe. "That's my song… _Let The Madness Begin_."

Kevin nodded, his face emotional. "I know… I love you, Chris!"

"I love you too, man!"

AJ's jaw dropped.

"RIP Y2AJ," Cena remarked.

AJ jumped on him.

Dr Foley sighed. "Here we go again. Every time."

* * *

Roman was still fuming when he was sorting out activity boxes for the patients in the nurse station. Someone covered his eyes suddenly.

"Guess who?" he heard his boyfriend coo.

"Dean," he said.

Dean made a mock sad face when stood next to him. "Wow. Don't get too excited."

"Sorry. I've had a rough morning."

"You wanna talk about it? You know this care and concern thing works both ways, right?"

Roman smiled at little. "I know."

"Who's got you so upset? I miss your beautiful smile."

Roman sense someone approaching him from his left and discovered it was Joseph. "Hi guys," he greeted. "Dean. I'm glad you had a good session. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh no," Dean said. Roman was surprised that Dean's voice was filled with warmth. "We were-"

His had only cold in them when he interrupted his boyfriend. "Yeah you were interrupting us and that's a huge problem. We can settle this one on one if you want. Or you can man up and go the other way." He clenched his fists.

Joseph laughed. "Lighten up, Roman. It was not intentional. I'm sorry for interrupting. I'll be on my way. Dean, I'll see you later."

Roman glared at Joseph's retreating figure.

"Roman," Dean asked. "Is something the matter? You've never been like this before."

"I'm fine."

"Roman-"

"I'm fine, Dean."

His boyfriend gave up. "Ummm… so I've got good news. Dr Foley said that we could bunk together."

Roman looked at him. "You mean here?"

"Yeah. I asked him and he said it was okay. I miss your warmth at night. I miss snuggling…"

But Roman wasn't paying attention. Joseph actually waved at him from afar. That asshole.

Dean's touch startled him. He found the auburn haired man looking at him with concern. "Babe… honestly what's wrong? You're gripping the box tight."

Roman shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Don't you have a counselling session to go to?"

Dean looked taken aback. "Not for another five more minutes. Why? Is my presence bothering you?"

That snapped Roman out of his mood. "No. I'm sorry, baby boy." He pulled Dean into his arms and kissed him. "I just have a lot on my mind."

'I can see that. But what?"

"It's nothing."

"That's bullshit, Roman. You're obviously pissed off about it. Why are you lying about it?"

Roman knew he couldn't tell Dean anything. He did not want his treatment to be interrupted… especially when he worked so hard on his sobriety. "It's my grades. I'm worried about them."

Dean's face visibly relaxed. "If it's about your internship, don't worry. Dr Foley likes you a lot."

"That's… great."

Dean's eyes fell upon the clock on the wall. "Well… I have to go. See you later." He kissed Roman on the lips.

Roman did not miss the disappointed look on his face when the kiss broke.

It was only after Dean had walked away that he realised that he had not returned the kiss back.

* * *

Roman felt better when he took a warm shower during his break time. As the water poured over him, thoughts of Joseph came back to him.

It made him sick to his stomach that the fellow Polynesian man would take advantage of his status.

Joseph seemed damn happy about it too.

 _And if you know what's best for your so-called boyfriend, you'll do what I say_

He growled in anger. Roman would usually let things slide whenever something happened. But this? This he could not let go. It was wrong.

"I knew you were hot but without a stitch of clothing… wow."

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

His back still turned, he snapped, "Get out."

"And miss this?" Joseph laughed. "You are a fine piece of work. This must be why Ambrose's so hard pressed on you. Pun intended."

Roman turned off the shower. "Get out, Joseph."

"I overheard Dr Foley saying that you'll be bunking with Ambrose during his treatment here. You're going to turn him down."

"That's none of your business."

"I think you've forgotten about what I said earlier this morning. You do exactly what I say. And trust me, you do not want to see Dean fail at his second attempt of sobriety, do you? With his failure means dropping out of the programme which also means no band which in turn means no fundraising concert for this centre. See how it works?"

Joseph's words were left hanging in the air. Roman found himself being spun around and he was face to face with the man who had the power to destroy Dean.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are." Joseph smirked at him before leaning into kiss him. "Remember what I told you."

He brushed his fingers over Roman's member before walking off. Once the shower room was empty, Roman slid down until he was sitting on the floor.

* * *

"What do you mean you can't bunk?"

He winced at Dean's tone. His boyfriend was looking at him as if he wanted to tear his hair out.

He stopped by Dean's room and broke the news to him. Obviously Dean didn't take it well.

Roman sighed. "Absence makes the heart fonder."

Dean narrowed his eyes. "I never liked that saying or believed it." He switched on the radio.

"What are you doing?" Roman asked.

"I'm trying to drown out your excuses."

 _I'm so glad I found you  
I'm not gonna lose you  
Whatever it takes  
I will stay here with you_

 _Take it to the good times_  
 _See it through the bad times_  
 _Whatever it takes_  
 _Is what I'm gonna do_

 _Let 'em say we're crazy_  
 _What do they know_  
 _Put your arms around me_  
 _Baby, don't ever let go_

 _Let the world around us_  
 _Just fall apart_  
 _Baby, we can make it_  
 _If we're heart to heart_

 _And we can build this dream together_  
 _Standing strong forever_  
 _Nothing's gonna stop us now_

 _And if this world runs out of lovers_  
 _We'll still have each other_  
 _Nothing's gonna stop us_  
 _Nothing's gonna stop us_

Dean was sitting on the bed, his back facing Roman, his head hung down.

Something about the sight of that made him feel like he let him down.

Roman walked over and sat down, reaching for his hand.

He held it.

Dean squeezed his hand.

"Please… stay with me," he heard Dean pleading quietly.

His words hit Roman's heart. It sounded defeated… despondent even.

 _Whatever it takes  
I will stay here with you_

He kissed the side of Dean's temple. "Okay."

 _ **A/N Thank you for the favorites/follows/reviews. I hope you are enjoying the story so far. It's been a rough time for me with damn depression and my father being in hospital again. I hope that you guys are doing great though. WTF 2016!**_


	9. Chapter 9

Nine

 _When I look into your eyes  
I can see a love restrained  
But darlin' when I hold you  
Don't you know I feel the same_

As Roman walked to the lounge for open mic, he heard Dean's voice floating through. He pushed open the door and found Dean perched on a stool with an acoustic guitar.

 _'Cause nothin' lasts forever  
And we both know hearts can change  
And it's hard to hold a candle  
In the cold November rain_

 _We've been through this such a long long time  
Just tryin' to kill the pain_

 _But lovers always come and lovers always go  
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today  
Walking away_

 _If we could take the time  
To lay it on the line  
I could rest my head  
Just knowin' that you were mine  
All mine  
So if you want to love me  
Then darlin' don't refrain  
Or I'll just end up walkin'  
In the cold November rain_

"Roman!" Dr Foley walked up to him. "He's got a good voice."

Roman smiled. "Yeah he does."

"You should listen how he speaks about you. I know I'm crossing lines here but it's quite loving. He thinks the world of you."

"He shouldn't. I'm not perfect." As it was, he was pretty sure he was fucked up. Joseph's threats hung over him and who knew what he would demand from Roman.

"I don't think it's perfection he's interested in," Dr Foley smiled. "Can't believe today's a week since they've checked in."

"Yeah."

"Who knew these guys would be the answers to the problem? And with the concert and all… they're going to save this place." Dr Foley looked so happy. "And getting Dr Namakaeha was the icing on the cake."

Roman felt his heart drop.

"He's really good with the patients. I was shocked when he sold his centre. When I asked him why, he said had met someone and fallen in love."

 _Do you need some time...on your own  
Do you need some time...all alone  
Everybody needs some time... on their own  
Don't you know you need some time...all alone_

Fallen in love? Was Joseph being serious? He barely knew Roman… not as well as Dean did.

"Whoever this guy is… he must have made quite an impression on him," Dr Foley continued. "I've known Joseph for a long time and he's a hard man to impress."

That made him ill. Roman was now tied hands and feet at Joseph's mercy. Dean had no knowledge of the whole thing and Roman intended to keep it that way.

 _And when your fears subside  
And shadows still remain  
I know that you can love me  
When there's no one left to blame  
So never mind the darkness  
We still can find a way  
'Cause nothin' lasts forever  
Even cold November rain_

There was thunderous applause. Dean bowed and bounded down the stairs straight into Roman's arms.

He captured Roman's lips with a smile. Roman immediately sank into the kiss until he opened his eyes and spotted Joseph staring at him across the room.

He broke the kiss immediately. Dean looked at him, puzzled. " What's wrong?"

"I… can't wait to see the next performance."

"I'm kissing you and you're thinking of someone else's performance?" Dean wrapped his arms around his neck. "I think I may have to remedy that."

He kissed Roman again. When Dean traced his bottom lip with his tongue; he remained tight-lipped.

Dean pulled away and frowned at him. "Really, Roman? What gives?"

"Nothing." He reached over and squeezed Dean's hand when he saw the disappointment on it. "Ummm… why don't we go back to the room?"

"Really?" his boyfriend's face brightened immediately.

"Yeah."

"Roman," Joseph said, walking from behind them. "Time for our rounds."

Dean gave an exasperated sigh and he excused himself to sit beside Seth. Roman frowned at Joseph who smiled politely at him. "We're in public, Roman. I'd watch how I act."

Roman took a threatening step forward to Joseph, his fists clenched. How badly he wanted to punch him.

Joseph chuckled. "I love this dark side to you, Roman. It fascinates me."

"You're a sick man, Dr Namakaeha."

"I told you to call me Joseph."

"How about asshole?"

Joseph's eyes twinkled. "That's only when we make love."

"You can keep dreaming about that. That's not happening between us."

"Is that a challenge, Roman?"

"Call it whatever you want."

"Then… challenge accepted. You're playing a dangerous game, Roman. I always win. Sooner or later, you will succumb to my seduction. You're gonna reject Ambrose's advances if you know what's good for him. I see you've gone ahead and bunked with him. That's fine. Because I already know how to get him, Roman. And trust me even you won't see it coming." He smiled, a professional again. "Now, shall we?"

* * *

From across the room, Dean watched Roman glaring at Joseph. He watched Roman clenched and unclenched his fists.

Something Joseph said must have upset him. But of what Dean wasn't sure. Whatever it was though, Roman seemed adamant to keep Dean from knowing about it.

He trusted Roman with all his heart and he knew Roman loved him. He had no doubts about either of those.

Joseph… Dean didn't trust. He'd have to keep a close eye on the doctor.

* * *

Roman slammed his fist on the shower room wall as water poured over him. His shift had ended and all he wanted to do was crawl under the bed he shared with Dean.

All through their walk, Joseph had brushed his fingers against his, put his hand on the small of the Samoan's back…

He felt arms wrapped him from behind. "Get your hands off me," he snarled.

"Ummm… okay."

The sound of Dean's voice made him turn around. His boyfriend, who was stark naked, looked at him, his face distressed.

Immediately, Roman pulled him into a hug, the water running over both of them. "Dean," he murmured into his hair.

Dean planted kisses on his shoulders. "You're so tensed, babe."

"Someone may see us."

"Let them watch." He was staring into Roman's eyes."I want you, Roman."

 _Because I already know how to get him, Roman. And trust me even you won't see it coming..._

He gently disentangled Dean's arms. "Ummm… maybe later, Dean."

His boyfriend was frowning. "Roman, I want to do it now."

"Well, I don't," Roman retorted. "So there. I'm tired and I just want to get some rest after this."

Dean stared at him for a while before he walked over to the long wooden bench where his clothes were laid. Roman had turned off the shower and put on a new change of clothes too. Not a single word was exchanged in the locker. The walk to Dean's room was filled with tension too. Clearly, Dean was upset.

"I"m sorry, Dean," Roman said when his boyfriend had closed the door. "You know I want you too but I'm so exhausted; I just want some rest."

"I understand," Dean replied. "I'm sorry too. It's just that you don't seem yourself, Roman. And I'm not the only one who notices it. You're the most cheerful guy the band knows and you're so moody lately."

"It's work," he replied. Safest answer, he thought. He lied down on the bed and wrapped the blanket around him.

"Is it Joseph?" Dean asked.

"No."

Dean snuggled near him and started to place kisses on his cheek. "You smell so good, babe."

"Good night, Dean," he murmured.

Dean gaped. "It's only seven thirty!"

* * *

As Roman walked into Joseph's office Monday morning - as was scheduled in this roster - he found the Polynesian doctor doing push ups. He was tempted then to just stomp his face to the ground right then.

He shook his head. Where were all these thoughts coming from?

"Aaaah… if it isn't the love of my life," Joseph said as he stood up. He took off his tank top, revealing his muscular, well toned physique.

"That's highly inappropriate, Joseph," Roman remarked. "Can't you do your exercises before my shift starts?"

"Why? There's nothing to be embarrassed, Roman. I have a great body and I'm proud to flaunt it. You should be proud to flaunt yours too." He gave Roman a slow look over and it unnerved him. He threw a towel at Roman. "Wipe me."

Roman's jaw dropped. "What?"

"Wipe me. I'm drowning in perspiration."

"Wipe your ownself. These are my working hours, Joseph. It's strictly off limits."

He seemed to be pondering. "Hmmm… okay. You're right."

Roman sighed in relief inwardly. Maybe he had changed.

* * *

Or maybe he hadn't.

Because as was his routine, Roman always took a shower before going back to Dean's room once his shift was over. It was something he enjoyed because the shower area would always be empty at that hour and he could simply reflect on his day and try to find ways to improve his productivity.

Till Joseph walked in and leaned against the wall, his eyes all over him. Roman turned his back. "Get the hell out, Joseph!" he snapped.

"Roman, Roman. You said it yourself that anything I want to do during working hours is strictly off limits." He turned Roman around. "Work hours are over and I want you."

Roman shoved him.

"Look at you. You're sex on legs: your beautiful black hair, your gorgeous grey eyes and nose, those damn kissable lips… your incredibly toned body-"

"I think you've said enough!" Roman cut him off. He turned off the shower and walked to the bench.

"Seeing you makes me wish I can do things to you, Roman."

"How funny," Roman replied as he put on his boxers. "I find myself wishing to do things to you too namely punching you in your face or your dick… I can't decide," he said menacingly.

"I'd rather your mouth on it actually."

"Go fuck yourself, Joseph."

Joseph laughed. "That's how it is at night. I touch myself thinking about you, Roman."

Roman was about to reach for his jeans when he stopped hearing that. "You need help. Real help."

"No," Joseph came closer. "I need you."

His lips slanted against Roman's who pushed him away almost immediately. "Stop it, Joseph!"

"Uh-uh. You will do exactly as I say, Roman and right now, I want you to kiss me. Or Rock Star Boy gets it. And by it, I mean it will be humiliating for him so to speak. Why do you want to be faithful to a guy who gets off by someone else's hand on his cock?"

Roman took a step forward. "How did you know?"

"I have my ways," Joseph said, smirking. "Now do you know the kind of people I have? Kiss me now, Roman or so help me you'll wish you hadn't crossed me."

"You don't scare me, Joseph." Roman glared at him. "And I sure as hell won't kiss you."

He seemed to want to try his luck as he leaned in and plucked Roman's top lip; he was shoved again."Consider your boyfriend's career over then."

That did it. Roman grabbed him and pulled him closer. "I told you before: if you ever touch me again, I'll break your old ass in half."

"Then do it, Roman," Joseph laughed. He was enjoying this, Roman realised. "Do it!"

Roman shoved him to the floor and put on his jeans and t-shirt. "This is your last warning, Joseph. Stay away from Dean or I'll make sure you regret it."

* * *

When he got back to the room, Dean was strumming on his guitar, back faced to him:

 _Everyone is changing_

 _There's no one left that's real_

 _So make up your own ending_

 _And let me know just how you feel_

 _Cause I am lost without you_

 _I cannot live at all_

 _My whole world surrounds you_

 _I stumble then I crawl_

 _And you could be my someone_

 _You could be my scene_

 _You know that I will save you_

 _From all of the unclean_

 _I wonder what you're doing_

 _I wonder where you are_

 _There's oceans in between us_

 _But that's not very far_

"Dean?" he said quietly.

Dean stopped strumming and turned around. "Hey," he said. "How was your day?"

"Better now that you're here." He kicked off his shoes. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Strip for me."

Dean chuckled as Roman sat down beside him on the bed. "Wait what? Roman is asking me to strip? This is priceless."

"Look, I've had a terrible day and I just want-"

His boyfriend's lips tugged at his and he melted right there and then. Dean was his home… his heart and soul. His boyfriend bit his neck and he groaned in surrender. "Like that, babe?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," he replied, sighing with pleasure.

Dean's hand cupped his clothed aching member and he arched up against him. "D-Dean!"

Dean helped take off both their clothes. With each piece of clothing being removed, Roman felt eager. Promises were whispered in his left ear as he moved restlessly against Dean. But it wasn't enough. He wanted to feel Dean's hands on his bare skin…

He got his wish when he felt his boyfriend slowly moving his hand down his length and he moaned.

"Look at it," Dean said softly. "It's begging for some attention."

Wetness replaced hands and he bucked his hips. "Faster, babe."

Speed increased with more saliva and before he knew it, he felt himself pumping his release into his boyfriend's mouth.

"I love you… I love you…" he repeated over and over.

"I love you too," the rock star said.

Dean's lips covered his then; instinctively, Roman wrapped him tightly in his arms. "Did you like the taste-"

"Oh yes," the auburn man replied, kissing him passionately, hands on his butt cheeks, grinding mercilessly into him. "I need you to scream my name, babe."

His fingers laced with Dean's, blue and grey eyes locked.

Roman felt himself elevate. Nothing like being in Dean's arms. Joseph be damned. He did not have Dean's character or heart.

When Dean had reached his peak, he cried out Roman's name before he stroked Roman who was on the point of letting go. "Come for me, Roman," his boyfriend said.

And Roman did. He was about to scream out Dean's name as he asked when Dean's lips crashed against his.

This… this calmed down the savage in him, he thought as Dean dropped his head near the crook of his neck. He had wanted to ravage his boyfriend but instead, the overwhelming love he had been given calmed down his anger.

Dean smiled and gave him a tender peck then. "I'll get us something to clean."

He rolled off Roman and rummaged his bag. When he found the cloth, he wet it by pouring water from his bottle water.

He wiped Roman first then himself before jumping in beside him, snuggling. "Feel better?"

Roman smiled. "Much better."

"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong?"

"I told you it's work."

"See I'd buy that… if I didn't know how passionate you are about this job. Come on, Roman. Don't push me away. I can help you."

"It's nothing I can't handle, Dean. Don't worry about it."

Dean pecked his lips. "You sure?"

Roman pecked back. "Yeah I am."

* * *

Dean woke up to the sound of Roman moaning in his sleep later that night. "Stop it, Joseph," his boyfriend said angrily.

Joseph!

Dean knew that deranged looney was behind Roman's strange behavior.

He kissed Roman on the lips and his boyfriend sighed before he rolled over, sleeping quietly now.

Dean got out of bed and went to check Roman's schedule. He was due to be attached to Joseph again tomorrow morning at nine.

He mulled over what to do next.

Obviously something Joseph did had to be bothering Roman if he was dreaming about it.

 _Don't you worry, Roman. My eyes are on you_ , he thought.

 _ **A/N Good call, Dean. Thank you for the well wishes and PMs. And for the favorites/follows/reviews. Have a good week ahead.**_


	10. Chapter 10

Ten

Roman was busy segregating pamphlets for patients in Joseph's office the next day.

Dean had sent him a text saying that Dr Foley had rescheduled today's open mic to the next day.

Roman didn't mind not being able to see his boyfriend perform today. He had other plans in mind already.

He smiled fondly at the memory of being in Dean's arms last evening. He felt a rush of desire swept across him.

He remembered what it felt like to have his legs wrapped around Dean. He couldn't wait to have his legs around him again after work.

"Good job," Joseph said when he walked in. "We'll be doing a quick round after this."

Roman didn't know what to make of Joseph today. He was being professional in his approach.

"Okay," he murmured. He placed the pamphlets into a box and sealed it.

"By the way," Joseph said in a casual tone, "They took another rock star in this place. I swear Dr Foley enjoys taking in these musicians like he was running a music camp."

Roman kept quiet. It wasn't his place to say a thing. He was just glad there was one more person to save the centre.

* * *

Dean arrived just five minutes before the group therapy session started when AJ pulled him aside to the corner of the room. "Look, man. I need your advice," AJ said.

"Okay," Dean replied.

"I… uh… how did you ask Roman out?"

"I showed up to his work place and asked him out for dinner. Why?"

"I wanna ask someone out."

"Who?" Dean asked. "I thought Jericho and Kevin are a thing."

"It's not Jericho…"

"Karl? Luke?"

"No and no."

"Well… it's gotta be John then."

AJ kept quiet.

Dean was surprised. "Seriously? But… but… why?"

"It's complicated. I really really like him."

"Since when?"

"Since we were in the band. Professionally, I can't stand him. You ever feel that way?"

"No. And I hope I don't." Dean shivered. "So what are you planning to do?"

"I have no idea, man."

"Why don't you serenade him with a song?"

"I've never written a song in my life." He looked at Dean, hopeful. "Will you help me? Please? Surely you can understand the agony I'm in."

Dean stared at him for a while. "Aaah what the hell. Sure. I'll help you out. But you need to tell me more about the two of you."

"Sure. After this session?"

"How about after lunch?"

"Okay."

AJ seemed happy and for some reason, so was Dean. It would be nice to see AJ and John finally resolve things.

"Chad!" Seth yelled happily.

Dean turned around and found Chad Gable, world famous rock star with three top selling album under his belt walk in the room.

Chad greeted Corey and Seth but he grinned at Dean. "Deano!"

Dean returned the grin. "Hey, Chad."

Chad had been the opening act during Steel Hounds' American leg of their world tour for _Salvation's Fall_.

He remembered reading Chad being caught for nearly overdosing on heroin a few months back.

Dean had a major crush on the man. But somehow they developed a friendly camaraderie which Dean realised was for the best.

He wanted something special with someone… different from anything he had experienced in his previous relationships.

And he found that in Roman. Dean knew he would trade his career and fame in a heartbeat for Roman if it ever came down to it.

No one had ever made him feel this way. What he had with Roman was precious and he would protect their relationship at all costs.

"Chad, what are you doing here?" Corey asked.

"I'm sure you guys read about my near OD," Chad replied. "Management made me come here when Paul bragged to them how well you guys were doing."

Dean groaned inwardly. Of course Paul would do that; it'd make him look very good.

"Good ol Paul," Seth supplied.

"Anyways here I am."

Dr Foley walked in with some files. "Hey guys. Let's start."

* * *

The moment his boyfriend came in through the front door during lunch hour, Roman practically kicked it shut before tackling Dean on the bed.

He planted frantic kisses on his face. Dean's laughter warmed his heart.

"This I definitely missed..."

Roman smiled. "I missed you."

Dean caressed his face. "Finally a smile. I missed your smile."

"You did? Why?"

"Roman, you and I are together. We're a team. That means we come to one another for anything - good or bad. You've been there for me… I wanna be there for you too, okay?"

Where did that come from? He made a mental note to ask Dean that later. "Okay." He kissed Dean deeply. "How was today's session?"

"Not bad. Chad Gable checked in too."

Roman didn't know that name. "Who?"

Dean chuckled as sat on Roman's lap and put an arm around his neck. "He's a world famous rock star."

"What's he in here for?"

"Drug addiction." The auburn haired man played with his dark locks. "I gotta be honest; I used to have a crush on the man. But we ended becoming friends instead. A million Chad Gable cannot replace one Roman Reigns."

That comforted him. Dean had no airs and was grounded. He was humble and he always made Roman feel loved. He pulled him for another kiss. "You know how much I love you, right?"

Dean laughed. "I _never_ get tired hearing that."

* * *

AJ was a nervous wreck, Dean noted as he grabbed a pen from the registration counter and found them a table to sit at.

"What kind of song do you want?" he asked.

"Country," came his immediate response. "Listen, Dean… I'm going to declare it tomorrow."

"Sure, man though an original song-"

"I'm okay with covers too."

Dean nodded and started to rack his head for a song. "What message do you want to send to him?"

"That I regret letting him go."

Letting him go…

Someone squeezed Dean's shoulder. Chad sat down beside him. "What's up, guys?" he greeted.

"We're trying to find country songs for AJ," Dean replied. "Songs about regretting over letting someone go… we're planning to do a cover."

Chad shrugged. " _What Hurts The Most_ by Rascal Flatts. I used to listen to it all the time."

"Yeah?" AJ said. "Who did you regret letting go?"

"Dean," Chad answered simply.

Dean looked at him in surprise. He had not been expecting that. "You had feelings for me?"

"Had? I still do. But Seth told me you're seeing someone."

"Yeah, I am."

"He told me you used to have a thing for me too. Had I known this back then, we would be having an entirely different conversation now."

"I'm going to get a cup of water." AJ excused himself.

Neither men acknowledged him. Dean sighed. "There's no point in talking about this. I love Roman. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. We missed the boat and I'm okay with it."

"Hey… I respect the fact you're in a relationship. I do." Chad stood up. "Anyways, ask AJ to use that song. I really think it's a good one."

* * *

Roman's shift ended earlier than usual but he wanted to avoid showering lest Joseph showed up again and tried to do something stupid.

Instead he decided to go back to the room and just relax. Maybe he could convince Dean to take a late night shower with him.

He changed into a t-shirt and a boxer and opened up his laptop. There was an article on Yahoo with the headlines "Life As a Rockstar" in the front page. Roman clicked on it.

The author went on how he went on the road with a rock band - Crushing Skulls - and wrote into the detail how they partied hard. Booze, drugs, sex… it was like a never ending party with occasional fights and hotel rooms trashing.

The lead singer, Steve Austin, said that this was life. It was never boring and every day was always a different one.

Roman started to wonder if he was holding Dean back from living his life. Wasn't alcohol how Dean had fun? One day he was going to turn around and regret living his life so… normal. And Roman would be the one who would probably have to face his disappointment or worse, his resentment at a mundane life.

He yawned and closed his laptop. Maybe a nap would clear his head.

* * *

Dean had free and easy hour now so he went back straight to the room. He was delighted to find Roman there… unfortunately, his Samoan hunk was asleep. He kicked off his shoes and slowly got into bed with him, snuggling up to the warmth he craved at night especially.

"Dean?" Roman mumbled sleepily.

"It's me," Dean replied, placing a kiss on Roman's cheek.

"How was it? Did you manage to write AJ a song?"

"Nope. AJ wants to declare it tomorrow so he's doing a cover instead."

"That's nice. What's the song title?"

" _What Hurts the Most_ by Rascal Flatts. It was Chad's suggestion."

"Chad was there too?"

"Yeah. He said that he used to listen to that song… thinking about me."

Roman wanted to sit up but Dean held him tighter. "Roman, relax. I'm not going anywhere." He crawled on top of Roman and sat on him, their clothed members pressing against each other's. "I'm here to stay."

"Dean… you say that now but what happens when you get bored?"

"Bored?"

"Bored of me, of the life I lead. I've been reading up on rock stars while you were gone, Dean and let's be honest, the lifestyle is excessive."

"Roman, I've lived that life for over ten years. It's going to get old eventually and then I'll want to settle down and have normalcy. And that's with you." He kissed Roman's cheek. "Besides, why would I want to give up this beautiful thick body?"

He bent down and kissed Roman deeply. He was glad when Roman responded back eagerly. Dean broke the kiss and started to sing softly in his ear:

 _You know you're everything to me and I could never see_

 _The two of us apart_

 _And you know I give myself to you and no matter what you do_

 _I promise you my heart_

 _I've built my world around you and I want you to know_

 _I need you like I've never needed anyone before_

 _I live my life for you_

 _I wanna be by your side in everything that you do_

 _And if there's only one thing you can believe is true_

 _I live my life for you_

He claimed Roman's lips again and felt his thighs being gripped as their kissing intensified. Dean continued:

 _I dedicate my life to you, you know that I would die for you_

 _But our love would last forever_

 _And I will always be with you and there is nothing we can't do_

 _As long as we're together_

 _I just can't live without you and I want you to know_

 _I need you like I've never needed anyone before_

 _I live my life for you_

 _I wanna be by your side in everything that you do_

 _And if there's only one thing you can believe is true_

 _I live my life for you_

Through it all, his boyfriend was moaning and writhing beneath him. "Such impatience," he teased.

"You're a tease…" Roman retorted lightly. "You know what your voice does to me."

"I know. Why do you think I sang?"

"Those are beautiful lyrics."

"It's one of my favorite songs. The words are borrowed but the sentiment is mine." Roman tried to pull him down towards him but Dean laughed and pulled away. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I wanna kiss you. All morning I've been thinking about last evening and-"

"Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow."

Roman looked like a hellcat then. "Make love to me now, Dean Ambrose or I swear I'll-"

Dean laughed into the kiss he had cut Roman off with.

How he loved this man.

* * *

 _Twenty eight year old Dean Ambrose felt cocky as he watched Chad Gable tuned his Ritchie Blackmore Stratocaster. Something about the charismatic lead man with his shoulder length hair and soulful voice just seemed to speak to Dean's soul._

 _The fact that he was on tour with them only made the long hours on the road bearable. Dean would usually sit next to him on the tour bus and they became good friends. They'd joke about anything and everything._

 _Even silly things would make them burst into laughter._

 _He sat down beside him. "Hey, man."_

 _Chad smiled at him and Dean felt his heart jump. "Hey, Deano. Check out my new riff."_

 _He played something heavy - it sounded a little like Black Sabbath's Iron Man - and hummed along to it. "Dude, that sounds awesome. What are you calling it?"_

" _Auburn."_

 _His eyes met Dean's. It couldn't be..."Auburn?"_

" _Well, that's your hair color and you inspire the hell out of me, Dean. I love your songwriting and I love your voice."_

" _Thanks, Chad."_

" _You're welcome. I can't wait to head on my own tour."_

" _You'll do great. Your next album is due out after this, right?"_

" _Yep and I'll send you a copy too."_

 _Seth walked past and tossed two beer cans at them. "Drink up, boys!" he said as he walked round the corner._

 _Dean popped open the can and clinked it against Chad's. "To rock and roll."_

" _To rock and roll."_

 _And that point, both men's eyes were locked at each other's. Dean couldn't seemed to look away and neither could Chad._

" _Dean!" Corey called out to him. "Can you run by me the lyrics for Forsaken again?"_

 _Dean snapped out of it and looked back at Corey who was standing near the speakers. "Sure." He looked back at the soloist. "See you later, Chad."_

" _See you later."_

* * *

AJ was practising his song on Dean's acoustic guitar in the garden, his eyes closed and warbling on the guitar:

 _What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do_

He went off key a few times which had Dean wincing. He stopped strumming and looked at the auburn man keenly. "Well?"

"Uh…"

"There's seagulls here?" Chad said as he walked by with a bottle of Coke.

AJ frowned. "That was me." He put the guitar aside. "I suck. Dean, can you sing it for me?"

"What?" Dean laughed. "AJ, you don't have to be perfect. Just be yourself."

"Please, Dean? You can say that it's my dedication to John."

Dean sighed. It seemed harmless. "Okay. Sure."

AJ cheered. "You're the best, dude. I'm heading to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?"

"No, thanks. Guess I better start practising." He picked up his guitar.

"You do that," AJ agreed. "I'll be back!"

Chad shook his head. "You sure about this?"

"Hey I doubt anyone else will help him." Dean strummed his guitar and started to practise:

 _What hurts the most_

 _Was being so close_

 _And having so much to say_

 _And watching you walk away_

 _And never knowing_

 _What could have been_

 _And not seeing that loving you_

 _Is what I was tryin' to do_

 _It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

 _But I'm doin' It_

 _It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

 _Still harder_

 _Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

 _But I know if I could do it over_

 _I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

 _That I left unspoken_

* * *

Dean had not noticed Roman watching him from afar in the garden. He had wanted to watch AJ's rehearsal but instead he found Dean singing to some guy in a t-shirt and bermudas.

"What's that?" Joseph asked as he walked behind Roman with a clipboard. "Your boyfriend serenading someone that's not you? Say it isn't so. Oh that's Chad Gable."

He glared at Joseph. "Mind your own business, Joseph."

"I'd like to, Roman but I care about you and to be honest, Dean Ambrose is poison."

"Don't you dare talk about my boyfriend that way."

Joseph laughed softly. "Okay, okay. Yeesh you're a grouch lately."

"Yeah and I wonder whose fault that is."

"Not mine, that's for sure. See you tomorrow."

Roman sighed and walked towards the dormitory. There had to be a logical explanation to this.

Right?

 _ **A/N Trouble in paradise?**_


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

Dean returned to the room after his practice session and found Roman staring out the window, seemingly lost in thoughts.

"Babe, is something wrong?" the auburn rockstar asked.

"Do you regret being with me, Dean?" came the question.

"What?" Dean was perplexed. Regret being with the most wonderful man he knew? Never! "No. Of course not."

"What about Chad? Do you regret letting him go without saying a word?"

Dean frowned. Where was Roman going with this? "No, Roman. I don't. What brought this on?"

"I saw you singing to him in the garden just now-"

"Wait just a second, Roman. I was practising that song because AJ chickened out playing it for John. He went to the cafeteria to get something to drink after his rehearsal and proposal that I do it on his behalf and I figured might as well start practising since the performance was for today. Chad just happened to be passing by."

Roman sat down on the bed, his shoulders slouched.

"Roman," Dean joined him and turned him around. "I don't regret letting Chad go. If you must know, I'm glad that I didn't let Chad know how I felt then. Otherwise I wouldn't have had the chance to meet you, to fall in love with you… to be with you. Do you honestly think I could replace you easily with anyone?"

"Yes." He didn't look at Dean when he replied that.

"Well, I can't. So try to get that in your pretty head. You may think that I would miss being crazy and wild but I didn't have you back then. That was nothing of worth in my life… the kind of happiness you bring into my life right now. I'll never get tired of telling you how much I love you, Roman Reigns."

"Dean?" Roman said quietly.

"Yeah, babe?" he said, lips pressed against Roman's forehead.

"I need your help."

Dean looked at Roman, puzzled. "With what?"

"Joseph. He's… well… he's been hitting on me and-"

"He's dead," Dean declared.

"No, Dean," Roman stood up. "I don't want you to hurt him."

"Has he put his hands on you?"

"Yes."

"Then he's a dead man."

"There has to be some other way to solve this."

"Okay, Roman. You tell me what you want to do then."

"Well, maybe I can bait him. And then record it or something."

"I guess that could work."

"I'll just have to catch him at the right time though."

Dean nodded. "The sooner the better. Just let me know when and I'll grab Dr Foley to witness it."

Secretly, he was relieved that Roman decided to come to him for help. He was beginning to worry that Roman didn't want to confide in him. Dean wanted to be there for Roman the way Roman was for him.

"Dean?" Roman whispered.

He smiled at his boyfriend. "Yep?"

"I want you-"

Dean pushed Roman on his back upon hearing that. His boyfriend's breath hitched and Dean immediately covered his lips over Roman's.

His boyfriend's lips were soft and pliant. When Dean's tongue sank into his mouth, he moved it against Roman who was surprisingly timid. Maybe it was because of their conversation earlier...

After some gentle coaxing, his boyfriend's passionate nature overcame his hesitation. Dean's arms were gripped by Roman's hands.

He took off his Samoan hunk's t-shirt and peppered kisses across his chest. Roman hissed in pleasure when his sensitive nub was in Dean's mouth, tongue teasing it playfully.

Dean loved this; loved that Roman trusted him.

Roman tugged at his hair before pulling Dean to his face again. Their lips met in a wild open mouthed kiss. "Dean," Roman moaned.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I need you."

"I need you too."

He wanted to make love to him that night with tenderness. But because Roman was unsatisfied with the painfully slow pace Dean was taking, he moved against Dean, grinding impatiently.

Dean got the hint and took him then with unbridled passion. And his boyfriend responded beautifully and it was then both of their worlds came apart.

Loving promises and quiet reassurances… the same kindness Roman had shown him, Dean gave it back to him and more.

Roman pulled Dean down to kiss him again. Dean gave himself over to the tremor of his pleasure before helping Roman with his. "I'll always love you, Roman Reigns. Always."

* * *

He waited, standing behind the back area with Dr Foley on Wednesday and a few others. The rows of chairs were occupied by the rockers and patients. Roman loved watching Dean perform. He had a beautiful voice and he could connect with people easily.

Dean bounded up the stairs of the small stage, wearing a beanie and a hoodie jacket over a black-shirt and denim. He sat down on the high stool with his acoustic guitar and leaned near the microphone. "Hi, guys. I don't think I need to introduce myself again," he said. "You know how I am yada yada yada."

Some laughter could be heard and Roman felt a sense of pride that Dean was his.

"Today, I'll be singing a song called _What Hurts the Most_. Honestly it's a beautiful song and it speaks about the regrets of letting someone go without telling them how you feel. This song is dedicated-"

"Just sing already!" Karl shouted out.

More laughter and hoots too.

Dean sighed and started strumming a familiar tune. His clear voice sang out:

 _I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

 _That don't bother me_

 _I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out_

 _I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

 _Even though going on with you gone still upsets me_

 _There are days every now and again I pretend I'm OK_

 _But that's not what gets me_

 _What hurts the most_

 _Was being so close_

 _And having so much to say_

 _And watching you walk away_

 _And never knowing_

 _What could have been_

 _And not seeing that loving you_

 _Is what I was tryin' to do_

 _It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

 _But I'm doin' It_

"What did I tell you?" Joseph said softly to Roman. "Did I not warn you?"

 _But I know if I could do it over_

 _I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

 _That I left unspoken_

 _What hurts the most_

 _Is being so close_

 _And having so much to say (much to say)_

 _And watching you walk away_

 _And never knowing_

 _What could have been_

 _And not seeing that loving you_

 _Is what I was trying to do, oh._

He felt Joseph lacing his fingers through his. "I care about you, Roman."

Roman's grey eyes gazed on the handsome Polynesian doctor's face. "Really?"

"Really. Why don't we head to my office and we can talk."

He glanced back to the stage. "Okay."

* * *

"I don't understand Dean," Roman said as Joseph closed the door behind them. "How could he do this to me after… after all we've been through together?" He discreetly placed his phone at the in tray on Joseph's desk, pressing the record button.

Joseph's arms went around his waist from behind and Roman shivered as he felt the doctor planting kisses near his neck. "You're so tensed, baby."

Baby? Roman wanted to throw up just hearing that.

"Ambrose and you were never meant to be," Joseph whispered softly in his ear before turning Roman around to face him, back near the edge of the table. His hands were now on the table, trapping Roman in between. "You're so gorgeous," he said, giving him a gentle kiss. "Your lips are so soft."

He leaned closer, making Roman's butt pressed harder against the edge of the desk.

"I thought you wanted to talk," Roman reminded him.

Joseph smirked. "Oh I do. But first I want you moaning and panting beneath me. I cannot wait to have those muscular thighs of yours around me."

In a swift move, he pulled Roman to him and claimed his lips in an all consuming kiss, hands firmly holding him in place. He planted hot kisses on Roman's neck while he struggled against him. "You know you want this, Roman," Joseph said. "Stop fighting it."

He grabbed Roman's jaw and resumed kissing him again, his tongue plunging in. Roman squirmed; Joseph was a strong man… possibly stronger than Roman. _Maybe this was not the best idea_ , he decided.

"Don't be afraid, darling," Joseph said before he kissed him. "Give in, Roman. Just give in." His tongue played against Roman's, one hand now edging dangerously to his crotch.

The door opened. "Roman? You in here?"

Dean! Roman squirmed again but Joseph didn't seemed to care.

"What the hell?!" Dean shouted.

The doctor broke the kiss. It was Dean's expression that had pain shoot through Roman's chest; his boyfriend looked stricken.

"Do you mind, Ambrose? You're interrupting us," Joseph said, turning around to face the auburn haired man.

Dean wanted to clock Joseph right then but Roman stood in front of the doctor, wanting to prevent Dean from getting into trouble. He was a little too late though and got hit in his jaw instead. The Samoan fell down. "Roman!" his rockstar knelt down and rubbed his jaw. "Babe, are you okay? I'm so sorry. Why did you block him?"

"I didn't want you to get into trouble," Roman explained.

"What's going on in here?" Dr Foley said, walking in, his eyes surveying what was happening in front of him.

"What's going on," Dean replied, "is that Roman is being harassed by this man who has been hitting on him since six months ago."

"Six months? But that would mean it was while he was in school."

"Yep. He was the relief lecturer for Dr Flair back then. He kissed Roman in class then and he's doing the same now." He helped Roman up. "Are you okay, babe?"

"Yeah." He hugged Dean tight. His boyfriend returned the hug back and his heart almost swooned. Dean was not mad at him. "I am now."

"Roman and I are in love," Joseph declared. "Don't listen to Ambrose." Joseph took out Roman's phone and his jaw dropped. How did he even know-

"I don't understand Dean," Roman's voice echoed from the phone. "How could he do this to me after… after all we've been through together?"

"You're so tensed, baby," Joseph's voice followed. Then silence and some shuffling before, "You're so gorgeous. Your lips are so soft."

Joseph turned off the phone. "Does that sound like I'm hitting on him? We're in love, Mick. We're just sorry that Ambrose had to find out about us this way."

Dean was livid then. "You son of bitch!"

Dr Foley held him back before he jumped at Joseph. "Dean, calm yourself."

Roman frowned. "I'm afraid not, Joseph. Dean has always held my heart."

"Roman, you don't have to lie anymore," Joseph said. "We've always had this attraction that we've danced around. Dean is just jealous that you're not his. That's all."

"You're… you're deranged."

"Dean," Dr Foley said. "From how it looks, it does seem like Roman is cheating on you."

Roman froze then, gripping Dean's hand. "What? I would never do that to Dean."

"Exactly, Dr Foley," Joseph said. "Dean caught us in the middle of our passionate snare. I would never hit on Roman here like that. I have my reputation at stake."

"Oh Joseph, shut up!" Roman scolded him.

Dean sighed, his face lined with disappointment. "Roman, drop it. We'll talk about it later."

"But Dean-"

"No. I mean it. We'll talk about it later… when I'm in a better mood." He walked out of the room following that.

"Dean!" Roman shouted out after him.

Dr Foley was frowning at Joseph. "Joseph, I hope you understand that it'd be appropriate if you continue this off duty instead of during working hours. I consider you a friend and-"

"Understood, Mick. It won't happen again," Joseph smiled.

Dr Foley walked out of the room too, closing the door behind him.

Roman was floored. How did the whole thing flipped three hundred and sixty degrees over? Joseph threw the phone at him and he caught it. "Next time, darling," he said in a dangerous tone. "Don't try that again. You don't know who you're playing with."

* * *

Roman went back to his room and found it empty. Not bothering to close the door, he sat on the bed, disheartened.

While walking back to the room, he saw Chad near the lounge. The rock star had looked at him with a disgusted look before snarling at him. "You don't deserve him, Reigns," he had snapped. "How dare you cheat on him? If he was mine, I'd treat him right."

How Chad had known was beyond him but at that point Roman didn't care.

Joseph had won.

He had gotten off scot free and the worst thing that came out of the situation was Dean being disappointed in him… possibly the end of their relationship too. So in that sense, maybe Chad had won too should he decide to ask Dean to choose him instead.

He put his face in his hands, trying to fight back tears of frustration.

Memories began to hit him. He remembered seeing Dean for the first time in Javawocky, hung over after a night of wild partying.

 _"Can I get you anything, Sir?" he asked as he approached the table._

 _Dean looked up. "Ummm... coffee. Preferably a whole pot."_

 _"Hangover?" Roman had asked with concern._

 _"Yep."_

How he was actually surprised that a rock star was in a small cafe like Javawocky.

" _You're a rock star?"_

" _Yep. Dean Ambrose," he introduced himself, reaching his hand out. "Lead singer for Steel Hounds."_

 _Roman took his hand and shook it. "Roman Reigns. I've heard of your band."_

Gone. It was now all gone, Roman thought, his heart breaking. Unable to hold it back any longer, the tears flowed.

He was all alone now.

Suddenly he was reeled into someone's arms.

"I love you, Roman." He felt Dean's hand on the back of his head. "You're the best thing that's happened to me. You mean more to me than anything. We'll nail him soon; I promise."

His boyfriend held him at an arm's distance before pulling him into a heart stopping kiss.

 _ **A/N Awww Ambreigns FTW! Thank you for the favorites/follows/reviews. You guys rock!**_


	12. Chapter 12

Twelve

"Are you sure this will work?"

Dean smiled. "Of course. An ode to our wild partying days. You remembered how I threw that wild party after I separated a while from him."

He was sitting in Seth's room with the rest of Steel Hounds. After a quick shower and freshening up, he had called a quick band meeting, leaving an emotionally drained Roman sleeping.

"Dean," Corey said. "You know I'll help you out. But it's our reputation and-"

"And we're rock stars, Core. Rock stars do sex, drugs and alcohol. But like I said, you guys don't have to do this. My reputation means nothing to me when Roman's reputation is at stake."

"Oh I'm in," Seth agreed gleefully. "All I ask is if I can call Spongebob."

"Yeah why not?"

"Yes!"

Karl grinned. "You know you need to invite the rest, right?"

"I know."

"Yes!" He did the hand gesture with Luke.

"Fuck," Corey said. "I love you like a brother so yeah I'm in too. When are we doing this?"

"In about two hours during open mic."

"Great."

"Bobby replied my text; he said he'll be getting those bottles of vodka and whiskey soon," Seth supplied. "His brother will be filling it with water and iced lemon tea."

"Perfect."

"Let's go get ready!" Dean cheered. "See you guys later!"

Dean walked with Corey towards their own room. "How… you were not angry with Roman, were you?" his friend asked.

"Hardly," Dean replied. "I knew that asshole would be a sneaky motherfucker. So I acted like I was disappointed so he'd think I was pissed with Roman."

They went to their own rooms. Roman was still sleeping. Dean smiled at the sight of his shirtless boyfriend as he kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed.

"Dean, is that you?" Roman asked, sleep present in his voice.

"It's me," Dean affirmed. "How long have you been up?"

Grey eyes slowly opened. "A while now."

"Don't worry. I've got it all figured out."

"Dean-"

"Trust me, Roman. I only need you to act heartbroken. Oh and to show up towards the end of open mic."

"Okay. But why?"

"I've got a big fish to fry. "

His boyfriend looked adorably confused. Dean leaned closer and kissed Roman deeply. _Sorry Joseph_ , he thought. _I trust Roman with my life than to believe your half assed lies._

Roman's arms went around him.

Dean broke the kiss then. "I can't believe you thought we were over."

"You looked disappointed in me."

"Well that's good then. Means I'm a great actor. There's no acting when it comes to how much I love you though."

Dean tugged down Roman's gym shorts down to his mid thigh and began to stroke his member.

"Baby boy, what are you doing?" his boyfriend asked.

"Just want you to feel good," Dean explained before going down and claiming his length in his mouth.

"Dean!"

Dean smiled as his tongue swirled around must have been doing a good job because Roman was whimpering and trashing his head within minutes.

His eyes fell on the clock. Still plenty of time.

* * *

The lounge was crowded with patients and staff to Dean's delight. This was going to be good.

He accepted a bottle of Jack Daniels from Seth and went on stage. Several gasps were heard.

He saw Dr Foley looking surprised and Joseph the snake was trying not to laugh. "So," Dean boomed into the microphone. "Something happened to me last night. And I've been up all night thinking about it."

He downed the iced lemon tea and tossed the bottle to Seth who caught it and put it aside.

"I hate you, Roman Reigns," he said. "I hope you're happy, you asshole. You've ruined my life. I was living it in the fastlane and then you came along with your stupid ideals and way of living… I fucking hate you. You and that lying motherfucker deserve one another. But hey… you and me being over means I get to have my life back. And this calls for a celebration."

Corey raised a bottle of Corona at him. "Cheers!"

Dean grinned. "So I invite you to join me in my celebration. Fuck Roman Reigns. How dare he reject me? I'm a rock star, baby! Rock stars trump over doctors any time of the day!"

By now, Dr Foley's jaw had dropped and he ran near the stage. "Get down from there, Dean!"

The auburn haired rock star looked at Joseph straight. "You won. Congratulations to you, man. YOU'VE WON! But fuck you both if you think I fucking need him in my life CUZ I DON'T! YOU HEAR ME, ROMAN REIGNS? I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU. I DON'T FUCKING WANT YOU. I HAVE MY LIFE BACK AND IT'S A NON STOP PARTY FROM HERE ON OUT, BABY!"

The rest of the rockers were already there, clapping and cat calling loudly. Luke pressed the 'play' button of his phone connected to the sound speaker.

Dean grabbed the mic stand and started wailing:

 _Welcome to the jungle  
We've got fun 'n' games  
We got everything you want  
Honey, we know the names  
We are the people that can find  
Whatever you may need  
If you got the money, honey  
We got your disease_

 _In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your  
knees, knees  
I wanna watch you bleed_

 _Welcome to the jungle  
We take it day by day  
If you want it you're gonna bleed  
But it's the price you pay_

"Dean!" Dr Foley hissed. "Stop this immediately."

Spongebob chose to show up at that moment. "Spongebob is here, guys!" Seth crowed.

"Oh yes!" AJ cheered before kissing John. "Baby, you're going to love this!"

John tried to pull AJ who all but dashed to grab a tupperware from Spongebob. AJ threw it to Bobby who had invited a few other rockers as well and they shared.

At this point Dean wasn't sure if Seth had asked Spongebob to bring real drugs or not.

Karl and Luke were on stage and danced as Dean continued singing on stage like he was at his own concert:

 _And when you're high you never  
Ever want to come down, YEAH!_

 _You know where you are  
You're in the jungle baby  
You're gonna die  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your_  
 _knees, knees  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Feel my, my, my serpentine  
In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your  
knees, knees_  
 _In the jungle  
Welcome to the jungle  
Watch it bring you to your  
It' gonna bring you down-HA!_

There were wild applause from the audience. Dean bowed and found Roman gawking at him from the last row.

 _Take me down  
To the paradise city  
Where the grass is green  
And the girls are pretty  
Oh, won't you please take me home_

 _Take me down  
To the paradise city  
Where the grass is green  
And the girls are pretty  
Oh, won't you please take me home_

 _Just a' urchin livin' under the street  
I'm a hard case that's tough to beat  
I'm your charity case  
So buy me somethin' to eat  
I'll pay you at another time  
Take it to the end of the line_

 _Ragz to richez or so they say  
Ya gotta-keep pushin' for the fortune and fame  
It's all a gamble  
When it's just a game  
You treat it like a capital crime  
Everybody's doin' their time_

 _Take me down  
To the paradise city  
Where the grass is green  
And the girls are pretty  
Oh, won't you please take me home_

By now the "party" was in full swing as alcohol was being shared among all the rockers.

Seth was headbanging with Corey who was doing air guitaring. Even John shrugged and joined in dancing with AJ.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Roman asked after he rushed on stage, pulling Dean's right arm.

Dean yanked his arm away and frowned. He took the mic off and poked Roman in his chest.

He almost laughed at his boyfriend's expression; the look he was giving was priceless.

 _Captain America's been torn apart  
Now he's a court jester with a broken heart  
He said—  
Turn me around and take me back to the start  
I must be losin' my mind—"Are you blind?"  
I've seen it all a million times_

 _Take me down  
To the paradise city  
Where the grass is green  
And the girls are pretty  
Take me home  
Take me down  
To the paradise city  
Where the grass is green  
And the girls are pretty  
Oh, won't you please take me home_

The sound of a crash made everyone turn as Jericho bumped into a vase which fell on the floor.

Dean jumped off stage and clapped.

Kevin was laughing. He threw his arms around Jericho before they started to make out.

The sound of the microphone being plugged out echoed. "Party's over!" Dr Foley yelled. He was distracted by Bobby jumping on the registration counter and ran towards it immediately.

"Some party."

Dean smirked before turning around to face Joseph. "We're rock stars. It's kinda our thing. Possibly in our job description too."

"I just love happy endings, don't you?" the Polynesian doctor said. "I get the man of my dreams and you will live your life like the loser that you are."

"Loser?" Dean repeated. "My money, fast flashy cars, two mansions and yacht certainly disagree with you."

"But all that means nothing without Roman."

"It has once and it will again so don't flatter yourself thinking he has that kind of power over me." Dean smirked. "At least I had him by asking him out. You had to resort to underhanded tactics."

"Smartest thing I ever did. I gotta admit he's irresistible so it was hard keeping my hands and lips off him in class and here those few times. But as to seeing the end result, it was worth everything destroying what you two had."

Dean clenched his fists but he remembered that he had his iPhone recording the conversation in his pocket. This bastard would be getting his end soon.

"Sure he resisted all those times I kissed him at first," Joseph continued, "but that was such a turn on. And now that he's surrendered to me? It's going to be sweet having his beautiful body writhing beneath me with moans of pleasure. Or me moaning under him. That'd be even better. I want to feel him inside me. To feel his thighs holding me in place as he thrusts. And to hear him call out my name when he comes… sadly you won't have that anymore."

Patience was not one of Dean's strongest qualities but it seemed to be exercised a lot recently especially with the man standing in front of him.

"Have a nice life, Ambrose. Don't worry. There are plenty of fishes in the sea." He walked with a skip to his steps towards the table of refreshments.

Dean took out his phone, paused the recording and saved it. "Got him."

Dr Foley came to him with a remorseful look. "Dean… I don't know what to say. You were doing so well and then-"

"Relax, doctor. I was drinking iced lemon tea. Look, can I talk to you in private? I want to share with you something."

"Alright. Sure."

* * *

Dr Foley had frowned as he listened to the recording before downloading it to his computer. Dean sat across him on the chair, arms crossed and one leg tapping impatiently on the floor. "Dean, I owe both Roman and you a huge apology," he said as he passed the phone back.

"Honestly, we don't need it, Dr Foley. What we do need is your help to make sure Joseph pays for his actions."

"And he will." Dr Foley picked up the office phone and dialed a four digit extension. "Hi Sarah. Can you ask Dr Namakaeha to my office please? Thank you." He hung up the phone. "Well, I gotta say Dean you took a huge risk."

"I don't care, Dr Foley. It was worth it. Because I love Roman. He didn't deserve this kind of treatment and I didn't want to see his hard earned dream go down the drain."

"It's funny you should say that," Dr Foley said as he started to type something on Skype. "Because Roman came to me earlier before your eh… concert… and handed in his letter. He wants to quit his internship here."

Dean's eyes widened. "What?"

"Yep. I have his letter here." Dr Foley held up an envelope. "It's such a shame. I tried to console him, tried to talk him out of it but he seems hell bent on his decision."

"Roman can't quit! This is his dream!"

The door knocked and Joseph entered the office. "You wanted to see me, Mick?" His eyes fell on Dean. "Oh. Ambrose."

"Dr Namakaeha, have a seat."

"What did Ambrose tell you?"

"Nothing except how you conducted yourself in an inappropriate manner against a student of yours on campus and here while he's here doing his internship. And don't bother lying, Joseph. I have it in recording which I've sent to Judge Hart, who's a very good friend of mine."

"There's been no proper investigation and-"

"Oh but there will be. And trust me, based on that recording, it'd be an easy judgement to pass on. You're finished, Joseph. I'm very disappointed in you too. Roman Reigns is one of the best interns we have and for you to have abused your position as his superior is disgraceful."

Dean had heard enough. "Look, Dr Foley, if I may be excused."

"Of course, Dean."

He walked past Joseph without a look; the man was not worth his time anymore. He noticed two guards walking to Dr Foley's office though.

Dean's immediate thought was to go back to his room to find his boyfriend. Roman was there, folding his clothes. "Don't go," Dean said as he closed the door behind him.

Roman looked up at him as he placed a stack of clothes in his duffle bag. "What?"

"It's over. This whole thing with Joseph. I recorded him confessing gleefully all the things he had done to you."

"I'm still leaving, Dean."

He walked closer to his boyfriend. "But why?"

"Because I've lost interest."

"Interest in your goals?"

"In everything."

"Everything? Even… even me?"

Roman looked at him. "No. No. Don't you dare think that. You, I will always have an interest in. I love you," he said, pulling Dean into his arms. "I just need some time to figure things out."

Dean pulled away. "Roman, you can't give up on your dreams. This was what you've been working for. Don't let some asshole take it away from you. You're a good guy and Dr Foley thinks the world of you. You should have listened to how he put Joseph in his place."

"Dean, I love you but no. I'm sorry if I've let you down. I've lost… I've lost face here. I… can't."

Dr Foley was right; Roman was hell bent on his decision. "Then I quit, Roman."

Roman looked taken aback. "What? Why would you do that for?"

Dean shrugged carelessly. "Because I told you before: I would rather give up my band than to see you quit your goals."

"But music is your life!"

"No, Roman; _you_ are my life. Please don't quit. You've worked so hard and come this far."

There was a knock on the door and Seth popped his head in. "Sorry to uh… interrupt, guys. Dean, Paul's here."

Dean gulped. "Oh no. It's about our party just now, isn't it?"

Seth came in with a huge smile on his face. "You're right. Someone actually recorded it and they spread it on social media. And guess what? The label is going crazy over it and they want us to continue the tour! We're going back on the road, baby!"

 _ **A/N Back on the road… the open road… thank you for your favorites/follows/reviews. Joseph was destroyed so yeah I'm glad to see that he got what he deserved too. But now Dean's career is calling...**_


	13. Chapter 13

Thirteen

"We're going to give you your own jet," Paul announced, "with its own bar, electric organ, and a bedroom fit for entertaining your eh... guests."

The band was sitting in a vacant meeting room where Paul was beaming.

Seth grinned. "What about boyfriends?"

"Boyfriends?"

"Roman."

Dean gave Seth a funny look. "Roman's _my_ boyfriend. Go and find your own."

"Dean," Paul asked. "Do you want Roman to come along? If you want to, the label will not have a problem with it."

The auburn haired rock star thought hard. He hated the idea of being far away from Roman but there was his internship. He still wanted to talk to him about his resignation. Roman had to complete his internship; Dean would make sure he did.

"No," he finally said. "Roman should be finishing his internship."

"But you'll be going on the tour?"

"I will."

"Must he do an internship?"

"Yeah. It earns him credits for his degree. It'll help him get paid more too."

"You can always change your mind about Roman coming, Dean."

Corey frowned. "Paul, weren't you hard pressed about our wild life?"

Paul shrugged. "The label likes it so I can't complain."

"So…" Seth asked slowly. "Can Spongebob come too if he's available?"

"Yeah. He can come."

"But what about the concert to raise funds?" Karl wanted to know.

"The studio will make a huge donation to the centre. You will be checking out tomorrow and taking the rest of the day off. Your flight will be the day after. We've managed to book you a show at the Royal Concert Hall in Glasgow."

Dean didn't even care. He was more worried about Roman than himself. "If that's all, guys, I need to be going."

"Yeah. Sure," Paul said. "Make sure that you're ready by noon tomorrow."

Dean gave a brisk nod and left the meeting room. Roman was not in their room when he returned. Where could he be? There was a moment of panic when he began to think that Roman had left.

But then he noticed his duffle bags were at the side of the bed.

Dean decided to check the shower room. To his relief, he found Roman all alone washing his hair.

He knew he shouldn't have been doing this but he locked the door and stripped out of his clothes.

Gently he stood behind Roman and wrapped his arms around him. His boyfriend paused his washing before turning around and started to place kisses on his face.

Dean relished in being in his arms, enjoying the feel of their bare skins in contact. "I love you," Roman whispered in his left ear.

Dean pulled away and gazed into his eyes. "I love you too," he replied quietly.

When their lips finally met, Dean pulled Roman as close to him as possible. Their lips were exploring each other's as if it was the first time they were kissing.

Roman's fingers weaved through his hair as the kiss deepened. Dean felt giddy with a thrill as Roman moved his lips to his jawline , then his neck before he groaned and claimed Dean's lips once more.

It felt good to be adored this way by Roman. His hands moved to his boyfriend's shoulders just as Roman grabbed his butt cheeks.

Dean jumped and wrapped his legs around his waist before their kissing became more urgent.

Roman stepped out of the shower, walked over to the bench while Dean started to lick his neck before gently lowering him down on it.

No words were necessary. Their bodies recognised each other's and as Dean welcomed Roman, he knew that nothing could break this bond they had.

Not time nor distance.

Dean loved Roman and Roman loved Dean. It was as simple as that.

There was no room in Roman's heart for Joseph or any other person. The same way there was no room in Dean's heart for Chad or anyone else.

Tension began to coil in his belly, his nails clawing into his boyfriend's bronze skin.

"Come for me, Dean."

He let out a soft cry when he came, arching his body against Roman's, trembling. He felt the Samoan moaning softly not long after, collapsing on him.

Planting tender kisses on his boyfriend's forehead, he held the Samoan tight, trying to catch his breath.

He stayed inside Dean for a while. There was something different about their lovemaking this time; Dean couldn't put a finger on it. It was as if they were both trying to commit one another to memory. As the blue eyed rock star dropped kisses on Roman's forehead, he wondered how would he find the strength to leave him again.

* * *

When they sat in the room, Dean broke the news of the band's upcoming tour. Roman was surprised at how fast everything was moving.

A part of him wanted Dean to stay but he knew it would be selfish to hold him back. "Let's hope you guys do well this time," he said.

But Dean was not fooled by his act. "Just say the word, Roman and I'll stay."

"But you can't. It's your dream. You have fans who look forward to seeing you. Your band is looking forward to it. So many people will be affected by your absence, Dean. Go. See the world. Live your dream."

"I have seen the world before, Roman. That was during the _Salvation's Fall_ tour. But now… things have changed."

"They have?"

"You've become my world. I… I don't know how I can bear to go away again."

"It'll only be for a year, Dean."

"A lot can change in a year."

"My feelings for you won't." Dean's blue eyes seemed cloudy. Roman gently tilted his jaw up so that their eyes could meet. "No matter how many miles in between," he promised his rock star boyfriend, "I will still be here for you… I will still love you."

His boyfriend threw himself into his arms. Roman held him close. It was a hard decision but it was the right one. This was Dean's life before they had met. This was all Dean had ever wanted.

To hold him back would have haunted him; Roman never wanted to hold Dean back.

* * *

Dean sat in counselling with Dr Foley that afternoon; his last individual session. "Gotta admit, Dean. You scared me for a minute with the fake drinking on stage," the curly haired doctor said. "I was so sad that all your hard work would have gone to waste."

"I wouldn't throw that away, Doc. Though, I would throw away my music career in a heartbeat for Roman."

"Has he asked you to?"

"No. I suppose you know we'll be leaving soon."

Dr Foley nodded. "Yes I've heard."

"I don't want to leave him behind… I just can't do it again."

"How does he feel about you leaving?"

"He's being supportive as always, encouraging me to go. He said he'll be there for me always but… I can't, Dr Foley. I just can't. I love him so much. I want to be here with him. And to do that, I'd have to leave the band and to be honest, I don't mind. I have already accomplished everything I ever wanted to do."

"Do you have any other plans besides this should you quit?"

"Not really. I'll figure something out."

"You're talking about your life, Dean."

"Roman is my life. Why doesn't anybody get it? I would do anything for him."

"Dean, I can't tell you what to do but I can only encourage you to think deeply about what you want-"

"Roman."

"Well besides that, of course."

"I'd still tell you Roman. He's given me a sense of home and belonging. I've never had those before. He's also stirred in me a passion to explore other avenues. I want to see what else is out there besides this rock star gig."

"Are you sure? Why don't you go for at least a month on tour-"

"No. I'm not going to."

"Sounds like you've already made up your mind."

"I have."

* * *

"You're really leaving this band?" Paul asked, his face shocked. "But Dean-"

"I'm sorry, guys," Dean apologised. "I can't… do this anymore."

He had sent a message in the Whatsapp group following his session with Dr Foley for an emergency meeting in the same room earlier that afternoon. As expected, his band mates didn't want to let him go either.

"This is about Roman, isn't it?" Seth guessed. "Well, then take him with you, Dean. We don't mind."

"Yeah," Karl added. "We love Roman. Well not the way you do, of course."

"But he's got his internship-" Dean explained.

"Which can be deferred," Paul informed him. "If you want, I'll speak to Dr Foley and ask him to secure a place for Roman here - since we all know how much he likes him - and get him to talk to the university."

Dean frowned. "Can that be done?"

"Of course it can be done. I kind of knew you'd have a hard time letting go of him."

"I'll have to talk to him…"

"You do that," Paul said. "I'll talk to Dr Foley right now."

Paul left the room while Dean stared at the rest of Steel Hounds. "Are you guys sure about this?" he asked.

"Very sure," Corey assured him. "The only reason Eva is not joining us is because she's busy with her side project, a nail salon. Spoke to her last night and she can't come but she may fly in from time to time so I'm happy about that."

"I hope Roman's okay with this. I'm quite nervous about his reaction," Dean confessed.

"Well when he sees how much it means to you, I'm sure he'll falter."

Seth beamed. "He gets to see how we really live."

"Seth, did you talk to Spongebob?" Luke asked. "Will he be coming for some shows?"

"Fuck yeah. He'll be joining us in Glasgow, Belfast and Hong Kong first."

Dean laughed. "Oh great. This should be interesting."

Paul came back not long after. "Dean, it's been settled. Dr Foley called Dr Flair who said he'll work on the deferment. Roman is free to join us. That is if he wants this."

"I'll talk to him."

* * *

"The stars are so beautiful here," Roman marvelled as he stared up at the skies. Dean was sitting beside him, playing with the edge of his jacket nervously. "Baby boy, are you okay?"

"Roman… you know I love you, right?" his boyfriend asked.

"Yeah of course. What's wrong?"

"See… I meant it when I sang to you that I built my world around you. I was hoping that you'd join me on the tour."

Roman was moved when Dean said he meant what he sang but to go on tour with him? "Dean, are you sure?"

"I'm very sure." Dean was earnest, taking Roman's hands in his. "Roman, you're the most important person in my life. I'd drive myself crazy being that far away from you. I'd be climbing the walls… please say yes. The centre and the university have agreed to let you defer. When we return back home, you can resume your internship. Both Dr Flair and Dr Foley have agreed to it."

This changed everything. Roman didn't dare to breathe. But the thought of being with Dean as they traveled the world was a tempting choice. "I… I don't know what to say, Dean. I didn't want you to go but I'd be a selfish man to hold you back-"

"I know, Roman. No offence; I love you and all but you're bad at hiding your feelings."

Roman chuckled. "I'd love to join you, Dean."

Dean's blue eyes widened in happiness. "Really?"

"Really. I would be honored to go on tour with you."

The auburn haired man pulled him so fast that their lips crashed one another's. Roman sank into the kiss. He loved Dean Ambrose with a passion that scared him but welcomed. No one had ever made him feel this way.

"You just made me the happiest man in the world," Dean whispered in his ear.

Roman hugged him so tight and proceeded to spin him around; he yelped before laughing hard.

* * *

When the rock stars were signing their discharge forms the next noon, Dr Foley shook Roman's hand. "I'm glad you've decided to come back. Your place has been reserved here next year," the doctor said.

That was a humbling news. "I'm thankful for that. Maybe this break is just what I need," Roman agreed. "Just a chance to clear my head."

"I couldn't agree more. The best part will be having him there with you. He was so ready to throw it all away."

"I know. He told me last night. I wouldn't have let him."

"But you know that he would have done so. He's quite stubborn when it comes to you. But very passionate too. Refused to hear any other options. That man loves you heart and soul."

"And that's how much I love him too."

Dean sauntered over to him. "Ready? We only have half a day to rest before we hop on that jet."

"Yeah, I'm ready." He shook hands with Dr Foley again. "Thanks a lot, Dr Foley."

"Thank you, Roman." Dr Foley shook hands with Dean. "Take care of him, okay? I want to hire him after his internship."

"Oh I'll take excellent care of him." Roman's heart skipped a beat at the sound of that.

Dr Foley was laughing at the sight of John's hand around AJ's waist as the lead guitarist was signing the form. "Look at that. They came in here enemies and leave as lovers."

"I know," Dean said. "I guess that's the power of love." He asked Roman to give him a few minutes and he gave well wishes to his fellow rockers and thanked them for their help in nailing down Joseph.

Roman was glad that nightmare was finally over.

He only wished he had punched Joseph before he had been escorted away last afternoon for the torment he had put him through for months.

"Ready?" he asked when Dean joined him.

"Ready."

Seth threw an arm around Roman. "Oh Roman, you're going to love this. Now you're going to see how rock stars really live!"

 _ **A/N Thank you for the favorites/follows/reviews. Rehab may have ended but the world tour has just started. Next chapter will be their Glasgow trip. :-)**_


	14. Chapter 14

Fourteen

The private jet that was given to Steel Hounds - aptly called Steel Craft - had 25 foot long bar, a built in cinema system and a bedroom. Roman was in awe the minute the stepped foot in it. The rest of the band was nonchalant to the surrounding. "Dean," he breathed. "This is amazing."

"Meh." His boyfriend looked unimpressed. "It's okay."

"You've sat on planes better than this?"

"Not better. Just like this. It doesn't get any bigger than this. We've had fun times on planes like these."

"What did you do on planes like these?"

Dean shrugged. "Stuff."

Now Roman was intrigued by Dean's reluctant answer. "Stuff like?"

"Sex. Drugs. Alcohol."

"You had sex in a plane?"

"What? Me? Or the band?"

"Both."

"Yeah we did. I was pretty wild, Roman. You wouldn't have liked me then. Trust me."

Roman brought his face closer and kissed him. "I know. I was just curious, baby boy." He chose the back seat. Dean joined him there. "We did have fun though," his boyfriend continued. "I mean what's there not to like about the rock and roll lifestyle."

And just like that Roman found himself wondering again if Dean missed it.

Seth went up straight to the bar and started opening a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Anybody wants one?"

"Coke, thanks," Dean replied, going to the bar.

Corey accepted a bottle from Seth, cigarette in his mouth. "Thanks, man." He smiled at Roman as he opened the bottle. "You drink, Roman?"

"Sometimes. Quite rarely."

"You want one?"

He declined politely. "Nah it's okay."

Dean walked up with a Coke can and passed one to Roman. "Babe, you can drink if you want. Just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean you don't have to either."

"I know but I hardly drink, Dean. You know why."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. I do."

"Why don't you drink, Roman?" Seth asked, his curiosity piqued.

"My mother's an alcoholic," he replied. He didn't mind explaining if anyone asked him. "I try not to drink much unless I feel like I want to and that's very rare."

Corey and Seth went upfront to the plane where Karl and Luke were smoking cigars and playing poker. Roman found Dean grinning mischievously. "What are you up to?"

"You'll see."

The jet door closed and Roman looked at Dean. "Uh baby boy, where's Paul?"

"Paul has his own jet," Dean replied.

"This is Captain Jack," a smooth voice announced over intercom, "your pilot for this flight to Glasgow. The journey covers 3670 miles and will take approximately 8 hours to reach there at a height of 181.51 metres above sea levels. Please remember to fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride."

As the flight steadily took off, Roman felt his heart pounding. Here he was on the greatest adventure of his life next to the love of his life. He cast a quick glance at Dean.

This scruffy auburn haired man was the love of his life.

As if sensing Roman's eyes on him, he turned around and grinned. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Hmm… follow me." He grabbed Roman's hand and pulled him into the bedroom and locked the door. Roman glanced around the room. There was a king sized bed with a small bedside table with a mini bar by the corner.

"You're tired?" Roman asked him.

Dean laughed. "No. I wanna christened the bed!"

"What-"

His boyfriend pushed him on the bed and climbed on top of him. Their lips clashed in a fierce lip lock, hands all over one another. "Dean…" Roman whispered. "Are you sure? Your band mates are just outside."

"So?" He bit Roman's right earlobe. "It's not the first time I've done it with them sitting outside. Relax, babe; they can't hear us."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"You used to christened beds?"

"Mmm.." Dean was kissing Roman's neck. _Okay_ , he scolded himself. _He didn't know you and he's a rock star, Roman. Did you expect him to live like a priest?_ "Gosh you smell so good, Roman."

Their lips met in repeated pecks and he arched up when Dean cupped his groin. "Fuck, Dean."

"That's what the plan is," Dean chuckled.

"Ummm… how many people have you done this with?"

"Done what?"

"S-s-sex on a plane."

Dean stopped kissing and stared at him. He stiffened. "You want a number, Roman?"

"I know I sound like I'm a prude but I… well…"

"If you must know over two hundred."

Roman's jaw dropped. "You're joking… right?"

"No. We toured for two years, Roman."

"That's one hell of a sex drive."

"What do you want me to say?" Dean sat up. "We're rock stars. That's our deal. Rules don't apply to us."

Roman closed his eyes before opening it. Guess it was a good thing he was on this tour. Their parties were one thing but this… this was a whole new experience. "But isn't it tiring to bang two hundred men over a two year period?"

Dean made a face. "We're seriously talking about my sex life now?"

"S-S-Sorry."

"Yes, it is possible, Roman. Do you want me to explain to you how?" Dean sounded annoyed.

"No. It's okay," came Roman's quick reply. He could tell Dean was not happy talking about it. But it was on the back of his mind, having not heard anything like it before. Two hundred? Roman only hoped he was good in bed as the next person.

There was a moment of tension in the room. He felt embarrassed and was feeling disappointed in himself for making Dean upset. Roman sat up slowly and was about to stand up when Dean held his hand. "Where are you going?"

He sat back down. "To sit up front."

"No. Let's stay here. I'm sorry. I really am. I've never had anyone ask me this, to be honest and it kind of threw me off. Yes I did do all those things but they weren't special, Roman. I was just ummm… sowing my wild oats so to speak. But with you, it's different. It's special; it's meaningful. I promise you're not just another one to add to the number."

His rock star boyfriend's words warmed his heart.

After a while, he slowly nodded and they resumed kissing.

* * *

"Glasgow, baby!" Dean yelled as he bounded down the stairs.

Seth cheered and jumped on him, resulting in him giving the lead guitarist a piggy back ride. "I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day!" the lead guitarist sang.

Behind him, Corey laughed.

Dean turned around and saw both Karl and Luke pat Roman on his back. "Welcome to our life!" Karl grinned.

Roman looked so beautiful walking down the stairs of the jet, the wind blowing his hair. The auburn haired man made a mental note to take him again in the hotel.

He couldn't keep his hands off him.

"Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty," Dean sang as they walked towards custom.

"Oh won't you take me home," Seth added.

Once they cleared customs, they were guided outside towards five black SUVs - one car for each man near the pick up point lane.

Dean allowed Roman to go in first. Once the door was shut, he leaned his head on his raven haired boyfriend's shoulder.

Roman's arms went around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Is this your first time in Glasgow?" Dean asked as the car started to move.

"Yeah. I've never been anywhere except the Bahamas."

"Touring is fun but it can get exhausting too."

"Maybe it wouldn't be this exhausting if you hadn't insisted we do it three times," Roman teased, his lips near Dean's hair, the sound of his voice caressing his skin.

"Oh don't worry. There's a fourth time later."

"So what happens now?"

"Now we drop our stuff off at our hotel room and then the band has to get ready for an interview in one of the ballrooms there. You can join us and hang around with Paul and Brock."

"I guess I can do that."

They reached the Hilton Glasgow Hotel and had their bags taken by the bellman. Dean chuckled when Roman tried to grab his. "It's okay, babe. They know you're rooming with me."

They proceeded to the reception counter to check in. "Wow," the receptionist, a young man in his twenties, breathed. "You're… you're Dean Ambrose."

Dean laughed. "Yes I am." He loved when fans recognised him. He slid his passport for verification. "How are you today?"

"Very good thanks!" The man typed on the keyboard rapidly. "You're being assigned a king sized suite. We've also prepared some red and green M&Ms for you too as per your last stays request, two bottles of Jack Daniels, three Absolut Vodka and a bottle of Corona."

"Actually have those alcoholic beverages sent to Seth Rollins' room. I'd like a dozen bottled water." He looked at Roman who was admiring the lobby. "Babe? You want anything?"

Roman looked surprised. "I can request stuff?"

"Pretty much yes."

"Ummm… a hot chocolate with marshmallows would be nice."

The receptionist nodded and keyed in his request. "Your room is 1458. I've already requested for Room Service to make the changes. Wow. I can't believe you're here. Girls want to fuck you and guys want to be like you." He slid his key card and passport across the table. "Enjoy your stay, Mr Ambrose."

"Thanks." Dean took both items and held Roman's hand. "Let's go, babe."

"Where's the rest of the band?" Roman enquired as they started to walk.

"Knowing them, probably at a strip club. Their bags will be sent up first."

"But you have an interview-"

They entered the lift. "No one shows up for those on time, babe. Let 'em wait."

"So what do we do till then?"

"We continue our fourth round, of course."

"What do rock stars do during tour?"

Dean wrinkled his nose. "Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Take drugs. Get drunk. Rock people's socks off. Bang girls and guys. Well, not me. I get to bang you."

They reached the fourteenth floor and headed for the room. He smiled when he saw Roman's reaction to the suite. "Dean," he marvelled. "Wow. This is incredible."

"You like it?"

"I've never seen anything like it." He sat down on the bed and removed his shoes. "I can't wait to see how you live your lives on tour. What's the wildest thing you've done aside from those sex escapades?"

"They weren't just on air. We did stuff on the road."

"Like?"

"We hid cameras and filmed ourselves having sex in our sex tents underneath the stages. We feed those videos live backstage."

Roman was gawking. "Dean-"

"I don't do that with you, Roman. I told you that you wouldn't have liked me then."

"Did other bands do that too?"

"I'm pretty sure they did. I'm sure you read how I have feuds with other lead men from other bands."

"I remember Finn telling you calling a band - Punk something - a buck toothed twat."

Dean burst out into laughter. "Yeah. That was Tye Dillinger. Asshole and I are still at odds. I think he's in Scotland too, the pussy."

"But why?"

"He tried to hit on a guy I was trying to get with at a club. The guy turned him down and Tye spat the beer he was drinking in his face. I was in the gents doing some coke. When I came out, the guy complained to me. So I insulted him and words were exchanged and fists too. The media caught it and well… it didn't take long for news to spread."

"Was Paul mad?"

"We had just signed on to the label at that point. He just rolled his eyes and told me to keep it low." Dean made a face. "Just like he's doing now. What's weird is how the label is taking all this. I figured that with the bad behavior in rehab that they'd be pissed but they're encouraging it. Maybe it has something to do with the revival of metal bands."

"Similar to the eighties?"

"Yeah." He took off his t-shirt. "Enough talking. I want round four."

"Now?"

Dean unzipped his boyfriend's pants in response and looked him dead in the eyes. "Now."

* * *

Roman stood behind the scene with Paul and Brock later that evening as Steel Hounds were being interviewed by Michael Cole from MTV's Headbangers Ball Revived. He smiled as Dean showed off, answering questions cockily and sarcastically at times.

The band was seated on red velvet sofas with 3D cut outs of them all over the place.

On the sofa, next to Michael Cole, was Dean who was sitting with one leg crossed over the other straight. Seth was drinking his Jack Daniels on camera. Corey was smiling politely. Karl and Luke were smoking cigars.

"So what do you guys think of rehab?" Michael Cole was asking.

"It was a fucking waste of time," Luke drawled.

Dean leaned forward. "Let me ask you something, Michael Cole. What do _you_ think of rehab?"

"Ummm…" The host appeared nervous.

"Fact is we were _forced_ to go to rehab. We never wanted to be there. You saw the video circulating. Does it look like we belong in rehab? We don't. We used to live and breathe in the Cathouse. That shit was our scene. Rehab? Fuck no."

Roman raised an eyebrow. He supposed Dean had a reason for what he had said; he couldn't have the media know why that whole thing was organised.

"Dean, are you seeing anyone?" Michael Cole asked. "The fans want to know."

"No, I'm not." Dean looked annoyed. "What else do you want to know, Cole?"

"There was a man you've been seen with previously before and he looks familiar-"

"Who he is and what he is to me is no one's business but mine. Got it?"

Seth put his bottle on the table a little too loudly. "Yeah, Cole. Why don't we talk about our new album? Why don't we talk about how it's selling like hotcakes?"

Michael Cole nodded. "We can talk about that."

* * *

After the interview, they were whisked away down the hallwway to go to the Royal Concert Hall.

"Dean Ambrose!"

Roman turned around found a man with short brown hair moustache and beard glaring at Dean. Behind him were four men dressed in t-shirts and an assortment of leather pants. He immediately looked at his boyfriend who was smirking cockily at the man. "Tye. Long time no see, buddy!"

"I told you I'd kick your ass if I ever saw you!" Tye shouted.

Dean laughed. "Anytime, anywhere, buddy! I'm standing right here."

"Fuck you, Dean! You cocky asshole!"

"Fuck you!"

They started to exchange blows. Roman wanted to stop them but Brock beat him to it and pulled Dean away.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, you motherfucker!" Dean yelled.

"Dean, please!" Paul implored.

The rest of Steel Hounds were actually laughing. Roman had never seen anything like it. Dean was like a different person.

"Fuck you! Fuck you!" Tye screeched. His band was laughing too and were not doing anything to intervene aside from their bodyguard holding him back. Somehow, Dean escaped from Brock's grip and knocked Tye out with a hard swing to his face.

"Dean!" Paul yelled again as Brock pulled him away down the hallway.

Punk 10's manager - or at least that's who Roman guessed he was - just shook his head and asked the band to return to their dressing room.

"Come on, Roman," Seth took his hand and led him behind the rest of the band. "This is normal; trust me."

"Which?" Roman asked. "Dean's fighting? Or all backstage fighting?"

He laughed. "Both." He stopped walking halfway and passed Roman his Jack Daniels bottle. "Hold this." He unzipped his pants and started peeing near the corner of the hallway. Roman's eyes immediately darted to the corner.

About twenty seconds later, he heard the zip going up. Seth grabbed the bottle from Roman and they continued walking to the bus. Dean was waiting outside. "Had to pee," Seth explained. "Got him to hold the bottle."

Dean merely rolled his eyes. "Come on, babe."

Roman went in and sat at the second last seat with Dean.

"Everyone okay?" Paul asked as the bus started moving. There was no response from the band. "Alright. As per your requests, the label has agreed to put sex tents under the stage."

Roman froze immediately. "D-Dean…" he whispered.

But Dean was snoring beside him, his right hand in Roman's left hand.

"Oh hell yeah! I hope there are lots of girls we can bring. Paul, about ten for me!" Seth cheered.

Paul nodded and looked at Corey. "You?"

"Just two," Corey replied.

Wait what? Roman had always thought that Corey was level headed. He couldn't help but wondered if Dean would have done the same if he had decided to remain back at home instead.

"Dean doesn't need any,." Karl supplied.

"He used to though," Seth added. "About ten too."

Ten? Warning bells were going off in Roman's head.

"It's part of the lifestyle, Roman," Luke said. "Groupies. Drugs. Alcohol. You'll see."

Beside him, Dean sleepily put his head on Roman's shoulder, making himself comfortable. Oh this tour was starting to be an eye opener.

 _ **A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter. There's more to this tour that will be covered in the upcoming chapters. My apologies for the delay. Thank you for the favorites/follows/reviews. Have an awesome weekend!**_


	15. Chapter 15

Fifteen

The famous sex tent had a mattress in the middle of with a container and a couple of booze in an ice bucket. Each tent had a zip to close for privacy and some lighting.

And there were five of them.

Roman squeezed Dean's hand when he saw the one given to them. The mattress had two pillows and a blue silk blanket. "D-Dean…" he whispered.

"Yeah?" Dean yawned.

"You've checked for cameras, right?"

Dean opened the drawer and ripped out a camera and handed it to a security guy walking past. "I won't be needing this," he said. The guy nodded and Dean zipped his tent up. He smiled at Roman. "Better?"

"Yeah." He allowed Dean to pull him into his arms and they started to kiss. Dean's tongue flicked near his upper lip and Roman opened his mouth for his boyfriend.

Suddenly, Dean pulled away. "Better not get heated up. That's for interval," he said.

"Dean?" Roman rubbed his arm. "This is probably going to sound stupid but you're not going to have ten guys here later right?"

Dean laughed. "What? Was that what they told you? No, Roman. No wild orgies this tour for me." He grinned mischievously at Roman. "Unless that's your kink or something."

"What?" Roman replied in horror. "No!"

More laughter from his boyfriend; he was enjoying this. "Then this conversation is sort of pointless." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm going to do soundcheck. Help yourself to the booze or something."

Roman looked at the bucket.

"Hello, Cleveland!" Dean screamed as he stepped out from the tent to some laughter from the crew nearby.

Seth was walking past before he did a detour. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." I think, he added silently.

"This is a norm. We have these every tour."

Every tour? These guys were wilder than the media wrote about them. "Seth?"

The two toned lead guitarist smiled at him. "Yeah?"

"You guys were joking about Dean and ten guys, right?"

"Sorry, Daddy. But nope. That's not a lie. Dean and I have a very healthy sexual appetite. I understand this whole thing may be overwhelming but craziness and the excess living is part of it." Seth winked at him and excused himself.

Roman sat down on the mattress when he saw Tye walking into his tent. "Is this Ambrose's tent?"

"Y-Yes."

He gave Roman a quick look over as if he were sizing him up. "You're hot. Fuck, gorgeous too. Whatever he's paying you, sweetheart, I'll pay you double and then some."

"What? No. I'm-" He stopped himself short. He couldn't tell anyone he was Dean's boyfriend. Dean didn't want it out there that they were dating.

"You're?" Tye smiled. "Look, honey. I'll pay you. Money is no issue for me."

"Didn't you get your lights knocked out just now?"

"How did you know that? Oh. Hey that's right. I saw you just now too. Wait a minute. The band shares you? Fuck. You must make a fuckload of money."

Roman felt humiliated and degraded then.

"Fuck, this band just went even more wild. Then again this is Steel Hounds. Especially Dean. Fuck. Anything he wanted to do was possible at any time, any place." He laughed and gave Roman his card. "Call me. I promise you you'll like me better. I'm more man than the entire band is." He exited, laughing loud.

* * *

"See you guys later, Glasgow!" Dean shouted into the mic. "We'll be back in thirty minutes!"

The crowd cheered wildly and started chanting the band's name with catcalls. Dean did a horns up sign and ran down the side steps. He was handed a towel by Paul who called out to each of them, "Good show!"

He saw Seth unzipped his own tent and shouting, "Hello ladies!"

Dean grinned as he unzipped his own tent and stepped in. After he sealed up his tent, he found Roman sound asleep. He placed soft kisses all over his boyfriend's face. Roman woke up with a start which puzzled Dean.

"Get your hands off me!" he shouted as he scrambled off the mattress.

Dean stood up. "Babe, relax. It's me."

Roman was breathing hard and ran a hand through his hair. "Dean?"

"Yeah?" He pulled Roman into his arms and started to stroke his back. "What's wrong?"

His boyfriend seemed to be deep in thought. "I had a nightmare."

"Oh." Dean pressed his lips against Roman's. "I'm here now, babe. We're on interval." He slid his hand underneath Roman's t-shirt, enjoying the feel of his boyfriend's skin against his.

To his surprise, Roman pulled his hand out. "I just want to relax."

"Isn't this how we relax?" he queried.

"Well, can't we talk about your concert?"

Roman was being weird. But it could be because it was his first time on the road. Dean chastised himself for not being patient. They both lied down on the bed. "Yeah we can. The fans are awesome out here. I really enjoy interacting with them."

"They know the songs word for word?"

"Yeah. It's an amazing feeling. I always get goosebumps when they do that." He laughed. "This is a first for me. Being in a sex tent and not having sex."

"Is that all we are? Just about sex?" Roman asked. "I'm not your whore, Dean."

That caught his attention. Something was definitely up. Dean sat up immediately. "What? Roman, what's wrong? I like having sex with you. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Well, let's cool it with the sex thing."

Dean's jaw dropped. No sex for the time being? "What? Abstinence? Roman, are you crazy?"

"Then go have sex with other men. I don't care."

That did it. Roman was being perverse. The Samoan stood up and Dean immediately blocked his way. "Okay, Roman. What happened? I'm not asking you; I'm demanding you tell me what happened."

His boyfriend looked uncomfortable. "I don't-"

"I insist you tell me, Roman."

"I was basically mistaken as a prostitute for you. No wait. Not just you but the band. Someone offered to pay me higher than what I was currently being offered."

Anger coursed through Dean immediately. "Who?" he asked in a controlled voice.

"I couldn't even tell them who I was to you. I felt so low at that moment-"

Dean didn't want to hear another word until he confronted the person who made such an offensive remark. "Who, Roman?"

"It doesn't matter, Dean."

"Of course, it does. Some asshole dishonored you-"

"Well, can you blame them? Why won't you just come clean to them about I am?"

"I don't want cameras following you everywhere you go, Roman. Your life will be a circus on display for people to judge. The way mine is. I'm sparing you all of this." He prayed silently for patience. "Now, give me the name of the person so I can set things straight."

"No."

He was pissed off then. "Damn it, Roman. Why the fuck are you being so stubborn?" he snapped.

"I don't appreciate your offensive word or tone."

"I have to because you're being obstinate… and pigheaded."

"Says the man who has no sense of discretion."

"Are you fucking serious?" Dean knew if he stayed here any longer, words would be exchanged… words that they both couldn't take back so he decided it was best if he left and only returned after the show.

"Where- where are you going?" Roman asked.

"Out. Maybe when you're out of whatever mood you're in, you'll decide to have a decent conversation with me."

"So it's my fault now?"

Dean turned around. "From where I'm standing, yes." He unzipped the tent and closed it fast before heading to catering.

He found only Paul sitting there munching on a sandwich. Dean stalked to the spread and dumped some chicken wings and sausages before sitting next to him. "I thought you'd be moaning in ecstasy by now," his manager remarked.

"I'm mad at him," he remarked. "Oh and don't worry. I'm not getting laid this tour."

"Why?" Paul asked as he sipped his beer.

"He wants abstinence."

"Well, he must have a reason."

"He was mistaken for being the band's whore… someone we hired."

Paul looked a bit sad. "That's gotta be rough for him."

Dean bit into his chicken angrily. "What?"

"Dean, this is a guy who is not familiar with our world. His first time was with you. He's not worldly and is quite a decent man. Of course he'd be offended. I can see why he's worried about having sex."

"But he refuses to give the name of the guy who said that. I'm trying to make things right."

"Hmmm… Dean, I may not know Roman as well as you do but he seems like a sensitive guy. I'd imagine he didn't want to give you a name after seeing how hot headed you were just now. He probably was afraid you'd knock the guy out and ruin the newly revived tour of the band."

That was a slap to Dean. "Seems like something he'd do," he admitted grudgingly.

"Of course. This is the same guy who thought he could protect you by trying to solve the whole situation with that professor of his on his own. Him not giving you a name is so him. Maybe you know the guy who insulted him. Maybe that's why he won't give you a name."

Dean looked at the clock. "Fuck. I'm due on stage." He stood up. "Look, help me keep an eye on him for me. The last thing I want to see is him missing when I return to the tent and finding out he's flown back home."

"Sure."

* * *

Roman unzipped his tent and started to walk down the path that led to a hallway towards the exit. He took out his wallet and found some money - enough he was sure of a ride back to the hotel and a flight back home on a budget airline.

Someone cleared their throat behind him. He found Paul behind him smiling. "Where are you going, Roman?"

"Home," he replied.

"Does Dean know?"

He shook his head ruefully. "No."

"Huh. Don't you think he ought to?"

"Well, you can tell him for me." Roman started to walk but stopped in his tracks when Brock stood in front. He frowned. "So I'm Dean's prisoner too?"

"No," Paul assured him. "But he did asked me to keep an eye on you."

"Why?"

"Because he cares about you obviously. It's a stupid lovers quarrel. You'll both be laughing over this in a couple of years. You'll have to excuse Dean. He's never brought a boyfriend on tour before. He always did what he wanted to do. There was no boundaries. There were no rules. With you being here, it's different. But in a good way. You make him happy, Roman. So calm down. Go back there and he'll make it up to you."

Roman didn't like being told what to do. "No thank you. I'm not his groupie. I'm not going back to that tainted place. I'm going back to the hotel."

"You're just so stubborn-"

"Wow. Your client and you sure have the same opinion."

"Mmm… maybe there's truth to it then?" Paul shrugged. "Maybe you can't handle this whole rock thing."

"I never claimed to have, Paul."

"Seen a bit and now you're leaving? This is a tour of fun, Roman. Maybe I don't agree with it. But there's money riding on it. The boys love it."

"Exactly. They love it. All I've heard in the past twenty four hours is sex, drugs, alcohol and parties. I'm standing in his way, Paul. I'm holding him back from living his life. Even Corey who's married is getting laid on the side."

"So you'd be okay with Dean sleeping with someone else on tour?"

Would he be? Again the question of Dean's fidelity bugged him. "No."

"Exactly. I don't think he's okay with himself doing it with someone else on tour. Then again, Roman, he couldn't bear to be separated from you again. That's why he was so persistent on leaving the band at first. I don't see how you could be standing in his way. But I'll tell you something: you leaving now will definitely hurt him. Stay. Talk things. You don't have to stay long. But at least give the guy a peace of mind knowing you're there waiting for him to work things out. Okay?"

Roman thought hard. Dean the rock star and Dean the man were different and he had to learn how to learn to separate the two. "Okay."

"Thank you. Come on. We'll escort you back."

* * *

"Thank you so much, Glasgow!" Dean shouted, his right fist up in the air. "There's an after party at the Hilton in an hour! We'll see you guys there! Lots of Jack Daniels baby! Woooo!"

The crowd went nuts upon hearing that. Seth took off his t-shirt and threw it to the sea of people.

Once again, towels were passed to them as they made their way down.

Dean was relieved to find Roman sitting inside the tent. "Hey," he said as he sealed up the tent. "I was afraid you'd be gone."

Roman remained silent. The auburn haired rock star didn't like this. What was on his mind?

"I just need to know what you would have done if I hadn't agreed to come with you," Roman finally said quietly.

Dean crossed his arms. This had nothing to do with what they had been talking about just now. "What's this all about?"

"Just answer my question. Would you have done what Corey did?"

"You want the truth?"

"I'd appreciate it."

"I'd would have gotten a blow job at the very least. Yes… maybe gotten laid."

Roman's jaw tightened.

Dean's eyes fell on the floor. "You wanted the truth."

"Would you have told me?"

How was he supposed to answer a question like that? Dean hadn't gotten that far in his thoughts. "Maybe," he allowed.

"Was that why you wanted me on your tour too?"

He let out a sigh and sat down next to him. "Honestly sex was not on my mind. Being separated from you was. That one month away from you was pure torture for me and I didn't have the strength to leave you again. And to add on to your question, if you had said you weren't coming, I would have left the band. What's this really about?"

"I feel like I've held you back from living your life. It was partly because of me that you left for rehab and had to quit drinking. You're supposed to be having fun on this tour instead of being stuck here with me. But at the same time, I can't bear the thought of you being someone else. When did life become complicated?"

"It doesn't have to be," he said as he took Roman's right hand in his left hand. "It'll always be you and me. Always. You underestimate how much you mean to me, the impact you have on my life."

"By forcing you."

"Roman, you didn't forced me to quit. I wanted to. The second time I went to rehab… do you remember when you tried to reach me a few times once and I never picked up your calls? You cooked me a meal as a surprise the day after."

"Umm… I think so. But what's this got-"

"I was out drinking with Sami that night."

Roman's grey eyes darkened. "And?"

"And we got wasted away on Jägermeister and I had blacked out. Next thing I know, I was being woken up by the bar owner. He had molested me, Roman."

"Dean," he whispered hoarsely. "I'm so sorry."

"But it wasn't your fault."

"But you didn't deserved to get that kind of treatment."

"It's all over now but my point is I realised I had a serious problem and that I had to do it for me." He held Roman closer. "We've all got our crosses to bear. I'm sure that asshole Joseph touched you a couple of times as well. But we've always chosen each other, Roman. Time and time again. No amount of fame or money or even the lifestyle can convince me that it's better than you. So take a chance on me?"

"Dean-"

"You don't have to answer now. We don't have to do anything unless you're comfortable. I'll give you space and time to accept what you already know but are probably too scared to admit."

"But I'm not scared, Dean. I know who you are and what you mean to me. You're the love of my life. I'm only scared that you'll resent me one day for making you lose out on all this. You're still young. You have a decade to go before you settle down with someone."

Dean smiled. The love of his life? He dare not hoped to hear such a thing from the raven haired man but damn it. That was better than all the awards he had won. "Not really. I had plans for us to settle down in New York a decade from now."

"That's your goal?"

"I've accomplished everything I wanted. I hadn't counted on you but I love that. I loved that with you, I get to plan new things. You make me excited about life. You've shown me kindness and love. Even when I had done a mistake, you treated me with so much care and concern that I'm humbled and wondered what I did to deserve you. I know I cannot do better than you. You're it for me. I love you, Roman Reigns. I'm not going anywhere. Hell, I'll tie you down myself to make you stay. That's how selfish I am about you."

"I'll stay."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes, it's a promise. I won't go anywhere."

"Except by my side?"

Roman kissed him briefly. "Except by your side."

"Good. We're going to be fine now." He decided to jump straight to the reason for their quarrel in the first place. "Who's the guy who put you down?"

His boyfriend gulped. "You really want a name?"

"Yes."

"It was Tye."

 _ **A/N Uh oh. Tye's about to get an ass whooping. The after party will be in the next chapter. Enjoy! Also a million thanks for the favorites/follows/reviews.**_


	16. Chapter 16

Sixteen

"I'm going to kill him!"

Roman grabbed Dean's hand as he started to stomp towards the entrance of the tent. "No, Dean!" he pleaded. "He didn't know."

"He still had no right to say that about you!" Dean shouted.

He flinched. "I know but please, Dean. Don't make a big deal out of it now."

"Roman, I'm not letting him go for this."

"You have to. You being upset will just make him curious about you and me and we can't afford that. Please. For me?"

Dean was staring at him, still fuming. He seemed to relent after a while. "For you. But if I hear him saying one more word-"

"Just let it go."

The rock star stared at him for a bit; Roman guessed he was fighting an internal war within him. "Well, we've got to go back to the hotel. We have an after party there and we've invited our fans."

This was a disaster. All their fans in the Hilton? How did management even get approval for this. "You announced it?"

"Yep. Let's go."

Roman quickly checked to see if they left anything behind before he followed behind Dean. When Dean wanted to reach for his hand, he pushed it away. "Not here, Dean."

"Right. I forgot."

They got into the bus where all of the guys were waiting. "Sorry," Roman apologised.

"No worries, Roman," Seth replied. He opened a bottle of Jägermeister. "Let's go!"

"We can't keep our fans waiting!" Corey yelled. "We have a party to get to!"

When Roman turned his head, Dean's lips caught his and slowly moved, coaxing him. His tongue slid in and out. Roman tried to grab his head to keep him still but he moved away before capturing his lips once more. Roman had to suppress a moan. Dean must have known because he laughed quietly against Roman's lips.

"Still want to remain abstinent?" he whispered into Roman's ear.

"...No."

"You wouldn't have lasted," Dean teased.

Oh. So it was a challenge he wanted. "Challenge accepted," he announced.

Dean's blue eyes gleamed. "We're having a challenge now, are we?"

"Yes. First one to cave in to the other one has to bottom."

"You're on!"

That didn't stop their heavy make out though so Roman was quite a content man. He was happy with this. Travelling the world with his boyfriend, watching him in his element…

Dean had sacrificed a lot for him. Roman hoped he'd be able to do the same for him too. It'd be challenging but wasn't that the point of a relationship? To give and take?

He had to learn to adapt to Dean's world the way Dean adapted to his.

* * *

The entire fourteen floor had lots of fans. Roman was overwhelmed by the sight of so many people - men and women - in an assortment of t-shirts of the band. They had red plastic cups and some were making out and headbanging.

He lost Dean in the crowd and found himself sandwiched between a bald man with multiple piercings on his nose, ears and bottom lip and a woman with tattoos covering all over her body. Hands were on his body, groping his bottom when he felt someone grabbed his hand and he looked up to find Seth. "I've got you," he said before sipping his Jack Daniels.

"Thanks, Seth," he replied in relief.

"It's fine, Daddy." He grinned devilishly. "This is how it normally is! Every excess is accepted here. Hell we encourage it on tour. It's our tradition. We have a lot rituals and traditions."

They entered what Roman guessed was Seth's room. "What are some of those traditions?"

"Eating wasabi before we step on stage. Drinking a shot after the show. Sleeping with the new girl or guy."

Roman froze. New guy? "What do you mean?"

"We have orgies with any members' new significant other."

He felt sick to his stomach. "I know you guys are wild but that's just wrong."

Seth smirked. "It's a rock and roll thing. You wouldn't understand. Everyone's done it."

His heart sank. "Even Dean?"

"Of course! Hell, we did Sami."

The idea of Dean partaking in such grotesque activities… it just changed the way he looked at him. _He did say I wouldn't have liked him then_ , he reminded himself.

Wait a minute.

 _He_ was the new guy.

"Come on, Roman," Seth said. "Let's get to it."

"I… I can't… it's just wrong. Immoral. Surely there's some other things I can do…"

"I feel you, man. But tradition is tradition."

"I need to speak to Dean first."

Seth glanced at the clock. "I overheard Paul wanting to speak to him. Look, Roman. The faster you do this, the faster it will be over. Dean didn't want me to tell you because he knew how you'd react."

Dean knew? That tore at his heart. He would forgive Dean for just about anything but not this.

Roman flinched when Seth brushed his lips against his, his hands immediately underneath the Samoan's Avengers t-shirt.

"Don't be scared, Roman," Seth whispered. "Everyone's done it."

Hadn't he promised himself he wanted to try to adapt to Dean's world? What was he trying to show his boyfriend? That he couldn't roll with the punches?

Seth's lips pressed against his, gently encouraging him to return the kisses. Roman didn't like it but he didn't want Dean thinking he was a sore person.

He moved his lips slowly and felt Seth trying to take off his top. Such impatience. They stopped kissing before he took off the t-shirt and he was pretty sure Seth was gawking at him. "You're so beautiful."

Had that been Dean, he would have been gratified. But this… this wasn't his scruffy love.

Hands were caressing his skin and he had goosebumps. Seth then started to attack him with kisses on his face.

"You smell so good," he moaned before planting kisses on his neck and proceeding to kiss his chest region.

He… he couldn't.

It was then Roman knew he didn't have it in him to fit into Dean's world so he pushed Seth off, scurrying through the crowd to his own room.

He felt dirty so he quickly stripped himself off his clothes and let the warm water wash over him.

It broke his heart that even though he tried, he could not fit in and it would only be a matter of time before his boyfriend would grow tired of his whining and reluctance. While he was soaping himself, he heard the door being slammed shut. Dean must have been back from his meeting.

Roman closed the shower and wiped himself, anticipating Dean's disappointment. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he found the auburn man climbing into bed. His boyfriend's eyes travelled all over his body and Roman wished the floor would swallow him then.

"I… I'm sorry, Dean," he said hoarsely. "I couldn't do it."

Dean raised an eyebrow but then grinned devilishly. "That's okay. I knew you'd cave."

"But I hope you understand why. I… It's not something I'm comfortable with."

"Could have fooled me."

Roman looked at him in shock. Was that what Dean thought of him? That he'd just give it to anyone who asked for it? "Dean!"

"What?" Dean looked puzzled. "I've got to admit, babe. I'm kind of disappointed. I expected this to last at least half of the tour."

Half of the… "Well, I can't. I'm sorry. I'm quite conservative about things like that. I tried to fit in with your lifestyle, Dean but surely you can understand. I mean sex should be between two people not a gang."

His boyfriend jumped off the bed. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Your tour traditions of sleeping with the new guy or girl. Look, if you want to break up with me because I couldn't go through with it, I wished you'd consider. I-"

"I thought we were talking about our challenge. I didn't…" He looked like he wanted to kill someone. "Who told you such a thing?"

"S-Seth did, Dean. We kissed and I took my top off and when he got to my chest, I just… I tried, honestly I did-"

"I'M FUCKING GOING TO KILL HIM!" Dean roared. "We don't have tour traditions, Roman. We have alcohol, drugs and party and wild sex. That's what we do. Well, I don't have wild sex because I have you and… FUCK HIM!"

Roman was shaking now. Seth… Seth made a fool out of him. And Dean was now on his way over to kick his ass. "Dean!" Roman ran to him and grabbed his arm as he walked out to the living room. "Please don't! He's probably drunk. He tasted like he had been drinking something strong."

"I don't give a fuck, Roman. How dare he put his hands and lips on you!"

"But he said that you all shared partners… he mentioned Sami. He said you knew I'd be like this-"

"He's dead."

"Dean!" Roman had to try. He didn't want to see Dean's face on the cover of magazines and newspapers for blood on his hands. Not to mention social media. This could ruin everything for everyone on the tour including backstage people.

So he grabbed Dean and started to kiss him.

Dean seemed to be pushing him but Roman kissed him harder, trying to get him to open his mouth. A few seconds later, he found Dean melting against him and their kissing became… loving.

His boyfriend gave him continuous pecks before they fell on the sofa chair with Roman beneath. "I win," Dean grinned.

"We both won," Roman countered.

"If that's what you want to say to sleep at night, sure."

"Just shut up and make love to me."

* * *

When Dean woke up after his nap, he was beyond pissed with Seth and had every intention to go over and kick his butt. Roman was sleeping soundly so he got up and put a throw on top of him before leaving the suite.

When he reached Seth's room, he found Corey berating the two toned lead guitarist who looked out of it.

"I'm so fucking pissed at him," Corey said.

Dean punched his fists together. "Well, guess I'll join your club."

"He drank two bottles of Jägermeister. Two!"

"What?"

They both heard a thud and found Seth snoring loudly on the floor. Dean raked his fingers through his hair. "I don't believe this. I'm fucking pissed at him. He told Roman sharing boyfriends and girlfriends was part of our tour pre ritual. Then he kissed him and got him to strip half naked! If Roman leaves me after this, it's on him!"

"You're right, Dean. Kick Seth's ass for that; I don't care how high he was. That's fucking messed up!"

Several rockers stopped by - including the British heavy metal band Damaged Frays - and toasted to them. The lead guitarist, Wade Barrett put an arm around Dean. "How's Glasgow treating you?"

Dean laughed. "What do you think?"

"Hmmm… you don't look happy, mate."

"Yeah I guess I'm not." He was aching for a drink right about now. Maybe a sip would cheer him up.

Or lead to his downfall.

"So how are you?" Wade asked.

"I'm seeing someone. So."

He looked around him and saw everyone - the band, their friends and the fans having fun. A part of him missed this carefree lifestyle. Maybe Roman was right on missing out.

"Not drinking?"

"I… I'm sober. I'm trying hard not to drink."

"You're on tour. Being on tour doesn't count. Trust me. What happens here stays here. Live in the moment, Dean. The world is your oyster."

"Yeah, well." He accepted a bottle of Corona from Wade.

"We're rock stars, Dean," Luke boasted. "We're indestructible."

That they were, he thought as he took a sip, feeling the cold liquid slid down his throat. On tour, everything was possible and nothing could take them down. They were all protected in a little bubble.

"Johnny's here!"

Dean turned his head and saw Johnny Curtis - Damaged Frays' gorgeous drummer greeting people as he walked through including fans. "Dean!" Johnny threw his arms around him. "How are you?" he gushed when he took a step back. "Damn it, Dean. You look hot."

"How's things?"

"Alright." He grabbed Dean's bottle. "I tried to get in touch with you a few times but it was always disconnected. Did you change your number?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Hmmm…" His eyes were going back and forth between Dean's eyes and lips. That was always their game except Dean always didn't give in.

"Dean, I'll see you later!" Corey said as he pulled a black haired young lady and blonde who were both giggling to his room through the crowd and shut the door.

The auburn haired rock star turned his head and Johnny took that opportunity to kiss him, hands holding his face. Dean shoved him off. "Damn it, Johnny!"

"Sorry, Dean. You know how much I want you. Fuck, I'd sleep with you right now if you gave me the chance."

"Johnny, you're ridiculously good looking and all but no."

"Alright fine… at least have a drink with me."

"Any takers for some speedball?" Wade asked. "I've got some coke and heroin."

Johnny took the syringe from Wade. "Fuck. I'll have some coke."

Dean sipped more of his Corona as he watched Johnny push the needle into the crook of his elbow. "Fuck!" he hissed. Once he had injected all, he threw it aside and tilted his head back.

"I need to go back to my room," he finally replied. "Thanks for coming though."

He walked away back to the suite and quickly shut the door.

Roman was staring into space in the living room, his shoulders slouched and his head down. Beside him were his bags. He appeared to be rubbing his eyes and Dean felt his heart ached as he walked towards him. "Roman?" he said softly.

His boyfriend's voice was hoarse. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"This is the part you break up with me, right?"

"Break up with you?" he repeated. "Babe, we made love a while ago. Besides, it wasn't your fault, Roman. I'm still going to kick his ass though. He'll wish he didn't mess with you!"

Roman looked up at him, his eyes red. "You're drinking again."

He drained the remainder of his Corona and threw it in the bin. "Yeah I am."

"Because of me and what transpired earlier with Seth?"

"Fuck, Roman. I'm on tour. And it's just three quarter of the bottle; I shared it with someone." He pulled him into a warm embrace. "Look, let's just relax, okay? We have a flight in the morning to Dublin. Is it bothering you, my drinking? It's just one bottle. I promise."

"It's really up to you, Dean. Just don't over do it. That's all I ask. I don't want you to be passed out in the middle of nowhere."

"How can I when you're here?"

The lead singer's warm mouth found the Samoan's and after some coaxing, Roman slowly began to kissed him back, pulling his body closer against his until Dean was on top. Hands were roaming on his arms, gripping them later as he grinded his body against Roman's.

There was a frantic knock on the door.

Dean muttered a curse and gave Roman a quick kiss, his grey eyes hazed with desire. "Don't go anywhere." He got off to answer the door. It was Corey looking worried. "Dean, it's Karl. He shot up some dope and now he's not responding. He's passed out!"

He immediately ran out of the room. "Dean!" he heard Luke shout and found Karl with his eyes closed on the floor of Luke's room. Luke was pumping his hands on Karl. "We were just shooting heroin and-"

"Someone call an ambulance!" Dean yelled.

"I already did!" Corey replied. "I told them what he took. Oh man! Oh man!"

Dean started to doing mouth to mouth resuscitation. "Come on, Karl!" he shouted tearfully before covering his mouth over his. So maybe they were destructible after all.

About ten minutes later, paramedics - a man and a woman - arrived. "Make way," the paramedics said. They kept pumping him before someone - it sounded like Johnny - suggested to inject adrenaline into his heart.

Luke held up the syringe. "He was shooting this. Please. You have to save him!"

"I know what I'm doing," the paramedic, a brunette, argued when Johnny kept persisting using adrenaline.

"Fuck you, man! Trust me on this!" Johnny yelled back. "It's been done before."

The female paramedic looked at Luke. "How much did he use?"

"The whole thing," came his tearful reply.

The female paramedic immediately took out a syringe and opened his mouth. She then used her fingers to hold up his tongue was and poked the syringe into the mucous membrane. She smiled at Johnny. "Narcan," she explained.

"Sarah!" the brunette said.

"Oh shut up, Dan," she said.

"No adrenaline?" Johnny enquired.

"The resuscitation protocol for heroin is Narcan. It counteracts the effects of the drug." Karl's eyes started to move. "Okay, he's coming about. Everyone move aside!" She looked at him. "You okay there, buddy? We need to bring you to the hospital."

"No… no hospital," Karl said softly.

Dean stood aside with Johnny at the corner and their eyes met. "Thank you," Dean said.

Johnny merely nodded. "No problem, man. Let's grab another beer."

"Yeah sure." Besides, he wanted to brainstorm ways to get back at Seth Rollins, the two toned backstabbing sociopath.

 _ **A/N ...There's a reason why Seth did what he did… thank you for your favorites/follows/reviews.**_


	17. Chapter 17

Seventeen

Dean was pretty sure his glares at Seth burnt a hole in the back of his head.

Except the two toned lead guitarist didn't seemed to care. Roman was trying his best to calm him down by squeezing his hand and tugging at it but Dean was not going to be placated so fast this time around.

Seth had put his hands on what belonged to him and that was enough for the 'Kill Bill' sirens in his head to go off. Even when they had touched down in Dublin, Dean didn't bother with soundchecks and stayed with Roman instead in the tent.

His boyfriend seemingly wanted to distract him, kissing him and nipping at his earlobe, making dirty promises in his ear - a first from his boyfriend - and damn it, if he hadn't been due on stage soon, he would have taken him at least twice.

Instead he had to settle for sex during interval.

Roman was whispering loving words into his ears as he rode Dean. His boyfriend chanted his own love words, hands on the Samoan man's waist. When he came, he was pretty sure that the Samoan man had no energy left as he slumped on Dean.

His forehead was then kissed repeatedly by his rock star boyfriend.

"We have fifteen minutes before I go back onstage," Dean said once his ragged breath had calmed down.

"Mmmm…" he said. "I love you, Dean."

Dean smiled at him warmly as he tucked some of those raven tresses behind his right ear. "I love you too," he replied.

He pouted when Roman got off him and started to put on his clothes. Dean started to put on his as well and he eyed his boyfriend from the corner of his eye. "Something bothering you, babe?"

"I was wondering if you guys were going to invite fans to the hotel again."

"Nah. Not in Ireland. We're just going to the bar at the hotel. That's about it."

"Try not to drink much?"

Dean kissed him. "I promise. Just a bottle of Guinness and we'll head back to the room."

"Okay."

They spent the remainder of the time talking about Karl's OD. "The thing is as rockers we have this idea that we're indestructible, that we were special. That nothing can touch us. I mean a lot of us were in the same circle getting high and there were ODs here and there."

"Even in Steel Hounds?"

"Yeah. Corey did once, Jeff did thrice and Seth the asshole twice. I didn't because drugs didn't really interest me. Yeah I've done some before but it was boring to me. Didn't make me happy like drinking."

"I believed Seth that time because every excess that rock stars have done had been done and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself, Roman. I can see why you would and I'm sorry. I really am. You shouldn't have to go through that." He pulled Roman into his arms and hugged him. His boyfriend buried his face in the crook of his neck. As he stroked the back of Roman's head, he knew deep within him, that to protect his boyfriend from further hurt, he'd have to quit the band.

Management would throw a fit but at this point, Roman's well being was his priority. He had to send Roman home first while he finish the tour and then throw in the towel.

Roman could protest all he wanted but to Dean, he knew it was the right thing to do. One more soft kiss to his boyfriend and he had to leave to go on stage.

As he walked on stage, he found Seth now smirking at him. That was enough to make Dean see red. "Seth! You know what happens next. You put your hands on Roman; I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"Bring it, Deano!" he taunted.

Corey stood in the middle. "Guys, please…"

"No. Sorry Core but no. I'm kicking his ass after the show."

"You're on!" the lead guitarist sneered.

As Corey starting plucking the strings for the opening of _Exit_ , Dean glared at Seth before he went close to the microphone. "Seven more songs and I'm kicking your ass!" he promised.

And that was just the start.

All throughout the entire second set, Dean would give him looks that killed, hissing of the physical torment that he would inflict on him. Karl and Luke looked worried.

Corey, ever the diplomat, smiled to the audience and tried to distract them.

Once the encore song, _Forsaken_ , had been played, Dean walked off stage and headed for his tent where Brock was standing outside. He unzipped and found Roman waiting. "Paul said we both needed to get out of here now."

"That's probably because he knows what I'm going to do to Seth."

"Dean, please, for the sake of everyone, let it go."

"No. This may have been our world, Roman but I didn't want you to be caught up in the middle of it."

"Babe, it's kind of hard to do that when you're surrounded by all kinds of excess. Just leave it be. I haven't said much as I did just now and that's all I wanted to really talk about. It's over. I promise." He grabbed Dean's hand. "Let's go."

Paul walked in then. "Dean, I know you're furious right now but please listen to Roman. There's a car just for you to drive you both back to the hotel."

He opened his mouth, fully intending to launch into a diatribe about why he didn't want to but Roman squeezed his hand again and looked at him pleadingly. Roman was such a softy who forgave people easily.

"You wanted to kick my ass, Ambrose?" Seth shouted out loud from far. "I'm right here, baby!"

He was dead. Brock blocked Dean's way. "Get out of my way, Brock!" he shouted. "He's a dead man and he knows it!"

"Dean!" Paul said. "Not now!"

"You wait right there, motherfucker! I'm breaking your fucking arms with that guitar of yours!"

Roman was pulling his arm. "Please, Dean. I'm begging you!"

That stopped him: the agony in Roman's voice. He didn't want to cause him any more distress nor did he wanted Roman begging him unless he was in bed. "You expect me to let him go after that?"

"Let's just take the higher road. Let's go back to the hotel. We can watch a movie and just relax and order room service."

Dean stared at his boyfriend wondering how huge the capacity of his heart was. He was actually pleading for Dean to spare Seth who had tried to hurt him. This was the last seal of approval that he needed to know he was doing the right thing to leave. "Lead the way," he muttered to Paul.

* * *

Roman snuggled against Dean's body in the hotel room, the rock star's hand on his waist. They had ordered two steaks and had shared a banana split after their shower together. Now they were lying in bed, watching Friday the 13th with occasional kissing in between the movie. "Roman?" he heard Dean muttered.

"Yeah?" he mumbled sleepily. He was about to doze off soon.

"What do you think of me as a music teacher?"

Roman was wide awake now. "Like a retirement job?"

Dean shook his head. "I mean like something I'd do after this whole tour."

"You're leaving the band?"

"Yes."

This was news to him though Dean had expressed it a few times earlier. "Dean, you'd have to settle for a domesticated lifestyle and a teaching job won't pay you much."

"So we'll downgrade to a comfy home that's big enough for us both… something we can afford to pay in terms of monthly utilities and taxes." Dean laced his fingers through his. "I love you, Roman. I know you'll say this my dream but you are far more important to me than any dream. I've already accomplished more than I could ever imagine. I've lived in the moment. I don't regret it. I'm ready to move on. This… this is my new goal."

Dean seemed determined and Roman was just as determined to help him if this was what he really wanted. "Okay. But don't give me a look when I tell you that it's your turn to set the table or take out the trash."

His boyfriend threw his head back and laughed. "I actually look forward to doing that."

"Me too." He kissed Dean on his cheek.

"I was thinking maybe you could head back home first and I'll join you once the tour is over. I don't ever want to subject you to any more debauchery. This is not your scene… was never your scene."

While it was on his tongue to say No in fear of what Dean would do in his absence, he had to accept that this was for the best or Roman would lose himself in all this mess. "Okay…. But Dean, you mentioned once that you'd satisfy your sexual needs and-"

"Roman-"

"Let me just say this. I understand, Dean. And I'm glad you were honest with me rather than you lie to me. All I ask is that you don't cheat on me by having another relationship on the side. That's all."

Dean gave him a puzzled look. "You're the strangest man I know, Roman Reigns."

"Love makes you do stupid things, right? And I have to be realistic and not place impossible restrictions."

"But-"

"But nothing."

"Roman, are you sure?"

His heart ached but he had to be practical. "It does hurt me to say that but like I said, I'm realistic about the whole thing."

He was given a look by Dean. "Okay. I promise. No side relationship."

"Thank you."

* * *

They made love a few times including once in the shower. Dean kissed Roman almost everywhere on his body, trying desperately to commit him to memory.

He had asked Paul to book him a flight about the same time the band was departing for Amsterdam.

When they reached the airport, everything in Dean's body ached for the Samoan. He was going to miss Roman like crazy but it was for the best.

He didn't want Roman to be tainted.

Brock was assigned to escort him to the boarding gate. Before Roman had took his bags, he held Dean's tight, planting kisses all over his face.

"Stay safe," he whispered into Dean's ear.

"Call me when you reach home," the auburn haired man said.

Roman nodded before walking. As he Dean watched Roman's figure walking off till he was out of sight, he felt himself resigned.

Corey put an arm around him and together they walked back to their jet.

After passing his bags to Paul, he went up to the plane where he found Seth smirking at him openly.

"You've got something to say, Seth?" he threatened.

To his surprise, Seth nodded. "Dean, we need to talk."

Dean crossed his arms. "What about?"

"About… everything."

Dean glared at him before heading to the bedroom. He heard the lead guitarist telling the rest of the band that they were in the bedroom to settle their differences.

"Please don't kill each other," Corey pleaded.

"No promises!" Dean hollered back.

Seth closed the door behind, locking it.

Dean smiled even though he wanted to throttle Seth so badly. "So we are going to kill each other."

"Dean, I did what I did because I wanted to break you both up."

"Why, Seth?" he demanded. "I know you loved flirting with Roman but that was fucking messed up of you."

"Yes but it's not Roman that I wanted, Dean. It's you. I want you, Dean Ambrose."

He wanted… Dean didn't know what to think. He was sure that he was hearing things. "What? I think I'm hearing things."

"I said I want you. Ever since your bonfire 18th birthday party we had for you at the beach. I wanted you then and every single day since. But you never looked at me that way. You always had your eyes on other men."

Dean remembered that party. He didn't think too much of the way the two toned man had held him. "Seth, we're brothers."

"See! You're always going to look at me that way! Why, Dean? Why can't I be the one?"

"I never thought of us that way. I'm not sure why… I just didn't."

Seth shook his head, walking steadily to him. "I wanted to get rid of Roman so badly just so I could take you in my arms and comfort you."

That angered Dean. "Fuck Seth! Are you that selfish? Trying to ruin a relationship just so you could get what you wanted?"

"Yes. It worked with Sami. It could work with Roman too."

Nothing could have prepared Dean for that. "You… you told Bray about Sami and me?"

"That and I sort of got him to ply you with the drinks." Seth was tearing up. "Roman is not here. We can try and work something out. Maybe what I did was wrong but I hope you'll try to see it from my point of view."

"No, Seth. Look I know you thought you meant well but I'll always care about you as a brother. Nothing more. Joke's on you though. You thought that it would break both Roman and me up but it hasn't."

"I wouldn't be cocky, Dean. With your luck, Joseph might be back and then you're screwed."

"Funny you should say that. Joseph is already out of the picture, Seth. I trust Roman and he trusts me."

"Really? You on tour without him-"

"Not that it's any of your business but he's okay with me sleeping with other people. So shut up and leave me alone until you're civil."

"I was being civil. Until you rejected me."

"Seth, nothing is going to change what we have, okay?"

Seth frowned. "Fine."

"Fine." He watched the two toned man walk out to the front of the plane and sat on the bed. He hoped that Roman was doing okay on his own.

* * *

The band didn't have to perform in Amsterdam until the next night so Dean decided to do a little sight seeing with Corey. With a cap over his head and a thick black hoodie and denim jeans, he walked out with his best friend wanting to soak in the fun of the city.

"This place is paradise," Corey said excitedly. "Drugs are legal so you know I'm going to dabble with that shit."

Dean laughed. "Somehow I don't doubt that."

"So you and Seth okay now?"

"Did you know that he had a thing for me, Core?"

"I suspected as much. He was always looking at your love interests with curiosity and dare I say a tad envy. But that's about it. I thought it was an overprotective brotherly thing."

"So did I… until he confessed to me just now."

They chose to go to the red light district where they settled for a bar which served marijuana and local brews. They both ordered two beers which was served within thirty seconds. Dean sipped a bit of the beer and looked around while Corey ordered a special brownie.

"See anyone that caught your eyes?" Corey asked. He was the second person Dean had told about Roman's odd approval.

"I'm not about to bang anyone so fast, Core. Unless I feel the urge to do so."

"Point taken."

They made idle chit chat about how Eva's business was going and how Dean wanted to pursue a teaching career. Corey was supportive about the whole thing. "I kind of guessed you were ready to move on, Dean."

"Yeah?"

"Ever since Roman came into your life, you've changed but in a good way. It makes a lot of sense for you to do this and settle down. Let this be one for the good times and enjoy yourself before you embrace domestic life."

"I can dig that. Two bottles of Jägermeister, please."

Corey laughed. "See now you're talking."

They grabbed their mugs and clinked it together. "Cheers!"

* * *

As Roman settled into the bed he shared with Dean back home, he contemplated between calling Dean or texting him. In the end, he chose to text him on Whatsapp with a goofy selfie he had taken a while back. It was better not to let the man feel suffocated and leave him be to enjoy the rest of his tour.

He had decided to continue to work at Javawocky and Randy was thrilled to have heard from him, immediately rostering him to work in the mornings.

Dean had told him earlier that morning that he had left some money for him in an account and that he could withdraw it anytime he wanted. But Roman wanted to earn his own money; he had been doing so before he met Dean.

His phone buzzed a while later. It was a text from an unknown number: _Good luck with Dean; he's mine._

Roman frowned and replied back: _Who is this?_

 _Your worst nightmare._

* * *

Dean finished the last of his drink before passing Corey the other bottle. Instead of drinking it all down like he used to, he settled for sharing one bottle with his best friend. "I'm going to use the gents first," Corey said and walked ahead.

The auburn haired man nodded and checked his phone. Roman had sent him a Whatsapp message wishing him a good night and to stay safe. He laughed at the picture sent as well.

His heart flipped.

He missed his boyfriend like crazy and it hadn't even been twenty four hours. How the heck was he even going to last the whole damn tour?

Corey was chatting up with some girl so Dean gave him a signal that he was leaving first. He whistled the tune of _Alone in the Asylum_ , Roman's favorite Steel Hounds' song as he walked back to the hotel which was close by. He made a mental note to call his boyfriend after his warm shower.

Seth was just coming out of his room when Dean reached his. "Hey," Seth said quietly as he walked past.

"Damn it, Seth. Stop this," Dean replied.

"What do you mean?" the two toned guitarist said, stopping in his tracks.

"I mean I know you're upset with me but we've been friends far too long to let something like this come between us."

"Yeah well, excuse me for wanting someone for a damn time. Look, Dean. I've accepted we can't be anything more, alright? I'm going out for a drink."

Dean watched him turned the corner and contemplated if he should chase after him. He decided he should - shouldn't he be looking out for him as a friend - and as he walked briskly towards that direction, when Seth did a detour, stopping Dean short.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault," the two toned man said. "But damn it, Dean. Give me one night. Please? All I ask for is one night and I'll never bug you about it again." He put his hands on Dean's face. "Please?"

 _ **A/N So who do you think sent the text message? Hint it's not Joseph. He's gone. Lol**_

 _ **Thank you for your favorites/follows/reviews. I appreciate it. :-)**_


	18. Chapter 18

Eighteen

"Seth…" Dean said. "I told you that I can't. I mean I know Roman gave me a pass for it but like I said, I see you as my brother."

"Let me change your mind," he pleaded. Seth then pressed his lips against his. His lips were cool, tasted of mint too. As Seth tried to get him to reciprocate the kiss, Dean felt his hands on his back and then edging lower to the small of it. This… this felt wrong. He pushed his bandmate away.

The two toned man was not pleased. "Well. This changes things I guess."

"Yeah I guess it does."

Seth let him go and stalked off. Dean let out a sad sigh as he returned back to his room. A lot of things seemed to be pushing him to leave. As much as he loved living with all the excesses available to him, sometimes with complications like these, he wondered if a domestic life was suited for him.

Maybe he would have a hard time accepting it but damn it, he had to learn how to adapt. Roman had tried to in his world.

Dean went to take a warm shower, his thoughts on Seth. Why hadn't he seen Seth the same way? After all, before Dean had known Corey, Seth was his best friend. They had always got along despite their different personalities but that was just it.

Seth was always like a brother to him.

Turning the shower off, he wrapped a towel around his waist. Roman was probably asleep so there was no point in calling him now. Maybe he'd just turn on the television and sleep. Urgh. Was this what domesticated life was like?

He switched on the television and channel surfed before settling for The Food Network.

There was a knock on his door and he went to answer it without even looking through the peephole. "Chad?" Dean asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

The brunette rock star stared at him. "Well, I bumped into Corey at the bar down the street - they have the best brownies - and he told me you guys were staying here."

"Did he?" Corey must have been losing his touch if he was still at the bar by now. "You want to come in?"

"Yeah, thanks." Chad went in and looked at the suite.

"Oh come on," Dean teased. "You must have seen better than this."

"About the same."

"There you go."

"So how's the tour so far?" Chad asked, sitting on the sofa. "You guys have getting lots of raving reviews."

"It's been okay. Karl had an OD in Glasgow."

"Yeah I heard. Poor guy. Of course, I've had my shares of OD so…"

Dean laughed. "Dude, you could write a book about your ODs at this point."

"I think so." He seemed pleased, the little devil. "So where's the boyfriend?"

"Roman? I sent him home."

"Why?"

"It's not really his scene, this whole rock and roll thing."

Chad seemed thoughtful. "Oh. So you're alone."

"On tour, yes. In reality, no. So what brings you here?"

"Management is pissed off with me for running away from rehab. Paul took pity on me and brought me here."

"Oh that's cool. You're opening for us?"

"Looks like it."

"Dude, you're huge so I wouldn't be worried about how people view you. Rock never had any rules to begin with."

"Exactly." Chad stood up and walked to the door. Dean followed after him. "So I'll see you tomorrow at soundcheck."

He nodded. "See you at soundcheck."

After Chad left, Dean stared at the door. That was random. What had Chad really wanted? He glanced at the clock. Ten thirty. It was still freaking early so he decided to go down to the lounge. Throwing on a white t-shirt over denim jeans and Doc Martens, he made his way down to the lobby on the twenty fourth floor.

The place was relatively quiet with only a few people.

He sat down at the bar. "How are you doing, man?" he greeted.

The bartender, a Scandinavian, smiled politely at Dean. "Good. What would you like, Sir?"

"Just your house beer. Thanks."

The bartender nodded and headed to the beer tap. Beside him, a blond with spiked hair, was sipping his beer. Dean recognised him as Nikki Lynch, bassist of the band Children of Daniels, a famous black metal band. He smiled at Dean. "Heineken. It's their local beer."

"Yeah?" Dean replied.

"House pour."

"Well, that's what I ordered. Is it good?"

"I like it actually."

"I'll take your word for it."

The blond laughed and extended his hand. "Nikki Lynch."

"Dean Ambrose."

"Nice to finally meet you, Dean. It's nice to meet someone from back home. Mind you, I've been homesick."

"Me too."

"So how was your show?"

"Ours is tomorrow."

"We just finished ours. We're due to fly off the day after tomorrow."

"Doing a little sight seeing?"

Nikki nodded. "Oh yeah. And we're having a party. Our drummer hired the bar across the road and we're throwing a huge party because this is the last show we're playing before going on a long break. Hey, I hope your band and you can make it."

He could do with some partying. "I'll let the guys know."

"Awesome." He smiled. "I can't wait to go home."

"Someone waiting for you back home?"

"Yep. My boyfriend. He's a stripper at Chippendales."

"It's hard, isn't it?"

"You don't know half of it. I look forward to taking him away on vacation."

They spent time exchanging stories about their respective tours and their time in the underground scene. Dean found himself missing Roman again and finished off his beer before tossing a couple of notes on the table. He bid Nikki a good night and headed back to his suite where he stripped himself naked.

He took his phone out and pressed Roman's name on the screen.

"Dean?" he answered groggily on the third ring.

"Sorry, Roman," he apologised. "I shouldn't have woke you up."

"No. It's okay. I always have time for you."

"Listen. I'm feeling lonely right now. I was thinking you could talk dirty to me while I jerk off. I know it's not the right time for you but I miss you so much and-"

He heard Roman smile. "I can do that. And I miss you too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Are you all dressed up?"

"No."

"You've got nothing on at all?"

"Not even my boxers."

"You're very eager about this, aren't you?"

And Dean smiled. "You have no idea."

* * *

"Good to see you, Roman!" Randy greeted him when he entered the cafe. "Fuck. I've missed you."

Roman laughed as he took his apron and started to tie it around his waist. "I bet you say that to everyone."

"Almost everyone."

He smiled warmly. "I missed you too, Randy."

His boss laughed. "Great. Now get to work."

"Yes, Sir."

He started to sort utensils. Roman yawned. He didn't have enough sleep. After he talked dirty to Dean over the phone, he released his tension on himself too over the phone.

It was their first time doing that but Dean reassured him that it was a huge turn on. Roman promised him he'd call him tonight.

He was actually moved that Dean - despite having a free pass - chose him. It was still too early to tell and even if Dean had come and told him he had slept with someone, he wouldn't get angry. He had seen what the life was like.

He understood even though he didn't like it.

A plump man with a cowboy hat and a suit walked in and fanned himself as he made himself comfortable in the second seat.

Roman handed him a menu but he declined and order a black coffee. "Anything else I can get for you, Sir?" the Samoan asked.

"A buyer for my club would be nice," the man replied.

"You own a club?"

"Yep. But I'm moving to Texas soon and I need to sell it off."

"How much are you letting it go for?"

The man took out a piece of paper and wrote a figure on it and slid it across the table to Roman. He handed Roman a name card. "If you know anyone interested, please let me know."

"Of course," Roman replied before looking at the card. "Jim Ross."

"That's me."

As he poured Jim's coffee, Roman's mind begin to spin its wheels. Maybe Dean could rent it and opened a club for up and coming bands, similar to how he had started off. That'd be a nice way to help others get their push.

He only hoped Dean was open to the idea.

* * *

Dean woke up with a smile on his face as the rays of the sunlight shined through his window. Last night was intense but damn it, he enjoyed every minute of it. Who knew Roman was good at phone sex?

And the best part was him wanting to call tonight again.

He got hard just thinking about it. The auburn haired rock star chided himself for not recording Roman's voice. Oh well. There was always tonight. There was repeated ringing on his suite's door bell so he put on his boxers and went to answer the door.

Seth was standing there, scowling. "We have to get ready for breakfast," his band said.

"Oh. I'm not in the mood for breakfast."

Seth was wearing a black t-shirt over a tight skinny jeans. Dean wondered how he managed himself into those clothes. He walked in and handed Dean a cup of coffee. "Figured you'd say that. Irish coffee for you."

Dean made a face. "Really?"

"Used to be your favorite as I recalled."

He shrugged and started to drink it. "Yummy."

"I'll see you downstairs."

Dean drank a bit as he watched Seth leave the room. He put the coffee down and headed for the bathroom for his shower.

As he washed his hair, he remembered that Nikki's band was throwing a party tonight.

He sighed.

Phone sex with Roman would have to wait.

* * *

"I love parties," Karl said as he sipped a Corona.

Dean laughed as he adjusted his microphone on stage. "Me too."

They were at the Melkweg doing soundcheck. The rest of the band were having lunch.

"Last night I picked up three chicks and they were into bondage. I even snorted some coke off one of them. I tell you, man. I love Amsterdam. You haven't picked up anyone?"

"Maybe tonight. I don't know." He didn't really want to think about it. "I have yet to lust after anyone."

"Man, you have it bad for him."

"He's okay with me doing it with other people and I should be happy he's damn understanding but my body's not reacting towards anyone."

"Maybe because - as cliché as it sounds - you belong to him… body, heart and soul."

"There's such a thing?"

"Oh yeah."

Dean was floored. It was funny because once upon a time, he had thought he loved Sami. Yet he had a couple of blow jobs and two one night stands as they travelled on the road, trying to gain more fans.

But with Roman, it was a three sixty flip.

Karl laughed. "I bet you didn't noticed the few people who giving you lust filled gazes just now."

"There were?"

"Yes."

He shrugged with indifference. Roman was beautiful, inside and out. He was not of their lifestyle yet he put his feelings aside and allowed Dean to live his life the way he had before.

If he had thought he had loved Roman before with all his heart and soul, he was clearly wrong.

He loved him with everything inside of him.

Always.

* * *

Roman bit into a tuna sandwich and surfed the Internet on his phone at the café nearby Javawocky for lunch. There was a two storey home on the market for a reasonable price and he wondered if Dean would be interested in viewing it.

Until reality hit him that he'd only be back in a year.

A whole year. Roman knew that it wouldn't be easy. But he had to learn how to live his life without Dean.

A message pop out from the same unknown number appeared again: _I'd worry if I were you. He's going to succumb to my seduction eventually._

Roman frowned and replied: _Joke's on you. He's free to do whatever he wants without worrying about me._

Who was this person? When Roman had called the number, the person did not pick up.

A reply about half a minute later: _You asked for it._

* * *

The party was in full swing by the time Steel Hounds arrived. Lots of alcohol, drugs and scantily clothed men and women were there.

Dean chose a poitín because why the hell not. He spotted Nikki chatting with another guy - probably a fan - and waved at him.

Karl and Luke went to the corner to snort some cocaine. Corey was making out with a stripper.

Seth was staring daggers at the sight of that.

Dean drank his poitín finished and ordered a Corona. Where was Chad? Dean wondered as he watched Seth bring a brunette with a pixie haircut upstairs.

He put down his bottle and smiled when Roman's name popped up on his phone. "Hey babe."

"Hey baby boy. Where are you? It sounds so noisy."

"At a bar. We were invited to a party."

"Oh."

He knew Roman must have been worried so he quickly reassured him, "I won't drink too much. I promise."

"Dean… you know I love you, right?"

"Of course."

"I don't want you to put your life on hold for me. A year is a long time."

Dean frowned as he stepped out of the bar where there was no rambunctious noise. "What's wrong? Why are you talking like this?"

"Nothing. I've just been thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"I saw a house for sale-"

"Oh so you want to buy one?"

"I'll wait for you to come back and-"

"That's in a year, babe."

"Yeah."

"Roman, you can go and do whatever you want with the money I put aside for you. If you see something like a house or a furniture… just about anything, then use it. You don't need my permission."

"Yes, I do. It's a relationship, Dean. It takes two of us. That's why-"

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

"What? No. I was going to say I'll take pictures or send you links and you can give me your input from wherever you are."

"Sounds fair but why the talk about me putting my life on hold?"

"I don't want you to feel guilty if you've done stuff…"

It dawned on Dean what Roman meant. "Okay. You think I'm going to go out and have fun and forget about what we have?"

"Anything can happen."

"Okay. So hypothetically if I fall for someone else after maybe sleeping with him a couple of times over half the tour, you'd be okay?"

"Yes. Love is not selfish, Dean. Sometimes absence can make the heart fonder, sometimes it does the opposite of that. I love you and yes, I admit I don't want to lose you but I would never forgive myself if I stood in the way of your happiness. Even if it was with someone else."

"Roman, you worry too much. Didn't you tell me not to have side relationships?"

"Yes. I did. But if you fall for someone else, just tell me and I'll let you go."

Dean felt a sharp pain in his heart. Let him go? "No. How dare you, Roman Reigns. How dare you."

"Dean-"

"Shut up, Roman. I told you that you're _it_ for me. I'll come back home straight and strap you down, damn it. Change the topic or I'm hanging up on you."

There was silence on the other line. "How was the concert?" he finally said.

Dean leaned against the red bricked wall. "It was alright. It was a huge sing along. How was work?"

"Work is work. I met a man whose club is up for sale. Dean, maybe you could do that. I mean open a club. You know like how you started… it could help bands get discovered."

Memories of wild partying and debauchery came back to him. He smiled. "That's a great idea, babe."

After a few awkward questions, they exchanged good nights. Dean was still upset about Roman's words and walked back into the bar. Chad was dancing on the bar counter. When did he even arrive?

"Dean? Another drink?" Nikki offered.

"Yeah. Some Coke and Jägermeister."

"Any candy?"

Dean saw Corey snorting heroin off a stripper. "Nah, I'll pass."

"You got it!"

A minute later, he drank his Coke while chatting with Nikki who was excited about his vacation to the Maldives. A while later, the bassist excused himself to go and dance. Dean's thoughts went back to Roman. How dare he wanted to let go of Dean?

This was the problem with distance. Roman may have meant well but Dean didn't want him to have such thoughts that he'd walk away. But that was the issue, wasn't it? The physical touches and small and big things of dating… things that you took for granted and suddenly you found yourself missing it.

While it had been nice hearing his voice over the phone as he touched himself, what was the point when he couldn't hold him in his arms and kiss him tenderly?

Paul walked in the bar and smacked Dean on his back. "I've told Corey that your flight has been postponed to noon tomorrow." He noticed Dean's expression. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not happy, Paul," he said as he wiped his hands on his jeans. "I'm surrounded by all of this but I'm not happy. Not like I used to be."

"Missing a certain Samoan?"

"Very much so. Yes."

"Bring him back on tour then."

"No. He's been subjected to all kinds of nonsense so I'm sparing him. But I don't know. Paul, I know I'll miss all this to a certain extent but not as much as I miss him. I miss him like crazy and I think it's time I drop the mic. I'm not going to continue the tour after our gig in Berlin."

Paul looked at him with understanding. "Are you sure? Because if you are, I'll let management know. No turning back now."

Professionally, he had checked off on his list of things he wanted to achieve. He looked around at his friends partying and drinking. Roman gave him the idea in some way that he wouldn't be missing out much of this. Opening that club was just what he needed to quell the rock star in him.

He'd be closer to home, namely Roman.

"Yes," he answered with finality.

 _ **A/N Love has no limits so fastened your seatbelts. We're in the homestretch. Only two more chapters to go… before Backlash. Thank you for your favorites/follows/reviews. Rest assured that no one is breaking up with anyone :-) I think it's easy to tell how much they love one another.**_


	19. Chapter 19

Nineteen

Dean found himself walking through the arrival hall of Berlin Tegel Airport with a bounce. Tonight would be his last gig and after that, it was time to head home.

Back to Roman.

Paul had made the announcement to the band this morning who were collectively surprised that he expedited his decision but were supportive nonetheless. When asked if he had any replacement in mind, he suggested Chad who accepted almost immediately.

If Dean didn't know any better, maybe Chad had been eyeing his place in the band.

Not that it mattered to him. He had a far more important priority.

The label suggested he announced it but Dean replied he didn't want any drama or fuss. Just a tweet and that was it. Maybe he ought to take a cue from Nikki and bring Roman away for vacation too to escape the media mayhem that may follow.

He shared his SUV with Corey and they chatted about his future plans. Dean didn't tell his best friend about the club - he wanted to keep that between Roman and him for now - but he did mentioned to Corey he was considering studying music or something.

Management booked them suites at the Grand Hyatt Berlin. Dean dumped his luggage on the bed and stared out at the view in front of him. He needed a shower before he called Roman who had no clue about Dean coming home early.

He wanted to keep it a surprise.

The luxurious marble bathroom had a rainshower similar to the one Dean had back home and as the water cascaded down on him, he made a mental note to ask Roman to make sure he had some chai tea bags stocked.

He'd be drinking those for a long time.

Changing into his Calvin Kleins boxers, he checked the time before he pressed Roman's number. It'd be about four am back home. His heart leaped when Roman answered. "Baby boy," he answered, sleep present in his voice.

"I'm sorry for calling you so early, babe," he immediately said. "You know I have to hear your voice."

"I sort of guessed you'd be calling me earlier," Roman said as he yawned. "This is okay though."

"So what time do you start work tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" Roman sounded surprised. "Ummm...I'm on the morning shift. Just like today."

Dean made a quick mental calculation. He'd touched down by nine at the airport and would probably reached Javawocky by ten. "Hmmm how's business?"

"It's been picking up," Roman replied. "Randy is having a Nutella special. Nutella pancakes with topping on the side with Nutella hot chocolate."

"That's an overdose right there."

Roman chuckled. "I thought the same thing but people are ordering that. Some customers even feedback that it should be available all day but Randy didn't want that. Finn would faint if it was available all day. He hates Nutella. How was your flight?"

"It was alright. I'll be ordering Room Service before going to the lobby. There'll be a limousine car to fetch us to the Arena Berlin."

"No after parties?"

"I think there's one but I'll be heading back." He didn't say where.

"You're getting old," Roman teased.

"Hmmm maybe. I did feel a bone ache the other day."

Roman laughed out loud and it warmed Dean's heart. "I'll be sure to standby lots of calcium pills for you."

"It's appreciated. Thank you."

They chatted about Roman's plans for the day before Dean had to hang up. He ordered a steak and a Coke. While he waited for his order, he watched The Rainmaker on HBO. Why were they showing an old movie again?

Once the order arrived, he ate his meal while flicking through channels. Putting his plate aside, he got ready to leave for the venue.

* * *

As always everyone had a sex tent but Dean chose to talk to the crew instead, informing them that it was his last show with the band and to thank them for assisting him ever since they joined the label.

He was humbled when most of them insisted on keeping in touch with him.

Chad followed him around halfway through and Dean introduced him. He was enjoying this and Dean was genuinely happy for the guy. Roman sent him a text telling him to break a leg and Dean joked if he meant it literally.

His boyfriend sent him an image of an unamused emoticon.

"You sure that this what you really want?" Chad asked as Dean and him made their way to catering.

"I'm sure," Dean affirmed.

"This is a huge thing to just throw away."

"Fame and money mean nothing to me now."

"But music is your life. Since we've met, you've always been about music."

 _Roman is my life now_ , Dean thought silently but he didn't want to say it out loud. Ever since Roman had gone home, he tried his best to keep it on the downlow about his boyfriend. He wanted to protect what they had.

It was funny because he was pretty sure most musicians would be nothing but thrilled if their significant other had told them it was okay to sleep with other people while they were traveling about but not Dean.

He was a sap but he didn't mind. He'd be a dork in love with Roman till they were grey and old and still be happy about it. Chad went to the buffet table to get his meals when Dean noticed his phone had messages sent to a number that suspiciously looked like Roman's.

Grabbing the phone discreetly off the table, he swiped and found several exchanges between the two of them. Dean gripped the phone hard. So Chad thought he could play games, did he? He, like all the others, underestimated the love Roman and him shared.

He placed the phone back on the table. No drama and fuss, he decided. When Chad returned back to his seat, Dean smiled at him. "I have a gift for you, Chad."

He looked surprised. "You do?"

"Yeah. It's after the show. Call it a parting gift."

"Really? Wow thanks, Dean!"

Oh he would have plenty to be thankful for alright.

* * *

The concert lasted two hours and fifteen minutes. To Dean, as he sang the songs he had written with the band, he didn't feel sad. He felt like he was at summer camp with his old buddies. Corey looked like he wanted to cry but Dean shot him a pleading look.

He didn't want the media to pick up on anything.

Seth was beaming as he played his solos. It was funny that he didn't seemed to care much. Maybe he had accepted it in his own way about how they would not be together.

During interval, Dean chose to say his thank yous to the band. "Gosh I'm going to miss you," Corey sobbed into his shoulder. Dean had not anticipated himself crying as well as he hugged his best friend tight.

Seth threw his arms around them both and Dean squeezed the two toned man as well.

"I'll let you know where I'll be," he promised them both.

"Please tell me you'll have parties," Seth pleaded.

Dean laughed. "Dude, I'm still a rocker at heart. What do you think?"

"Maybe hire Spongebob for your housewarming party?" Luke suggested.

"Absolutely!"

They finished another set of ten songs including the encore of _Forsaken_. Dean then boomed into the microphone for the last time, "Thank you, Berlin. You've been awesome. There's an after party at the Grand Hyatt ballroom. We'll see you there."

The crowd went nuts. Dean smiled warmly at that and waved before bounding down the stairs.

"Fuck, Dean!" Corey said as the other four members hugged him tight. They were ushered to go get their bags. Dean had his in the SUV that would take him to the airport. Anti climatic. The way he liked.

As he watched his friends walked off, Chad stood beside him. "Dean-"

His fist flew to Chad's face and he fell down. "Stay away from Roman, Chad. I don't care what the fuck you want to do from now on. You stay the fuck away or I swear I'll kick your ass." He stalked off to the parking lot where Paul was waiting for him with a bouncing Brock.

"Well," he said to his manager. "No tears, alright?"

"Oh shut up, Dean," Paul replied, wiping the corner of his eyes. "I've watched you grow the most and damn it, you know I'm proud of you. As your manager, I'd wish you reconsider. But as your father figure, I'm happy for you, Dean. You deserve this."

He threw his arms around Paul then. "Keep in touch, okay?" his manager added tearfully into his hair.

"I will. I'm not changing my number yet but when I get a new one, you'll be the first to know."

"I'll hold you to it."

And Dean got into the car with Brock who was following him to the airport. Finally, he was heading back home… home to Roman.

* * *

By the time he had cleared customs, he took a taxi to the Javawocky. He was thankful there was no crowd, just a couple of people seated all over. He smiled warmly as he watched his boyfriend set a table that had been cleared.

Dean chose the same booth where he had first met Roman and sat down.

Randy spotted him and hid his bags for him, smiling. "Roman," Randy called out to the Samoan who was adjusting a tent card. "Can you take order for table one, please? There's a gentleman seated there."

"Sure," Roman replied. He was walking to the table without looking at Dean, his eyes adjusting his apron while holding his order pad and pencil in his hands. "Can I get you anything, Sir?"

"Ummm… coffee. Preferably a whole pot."

His boyfriend's head snapped up and his grey eyes widened. "Dean?"

Dean got up and pulled Roman in his arms. Their lips met halfway and they were kissing each other with all the pent up emotions within them. Roman. He was finally in Dean's arms and the auburn haired man never wanted to let him go.

Randy cleared his throat. A quick peck and they parted reluctantly. "Take it to the office if you want," the Javawocky owner smiled.

Roman nodded and brought Dean into the office, locking the door behind. "Dean? You're here! Aren't you supposed to be in Poland by now?"'

He held Roman's hands. "I left the band, Roman. Officially. My last gig was in Berlin."

"But… but why?"

"Because I wasn't happy without you. Everything felt empty. So I gave Paul a heads up and here I am now." He gave Roman a quick kiss. "I know I should have been happy because you gave me your blessings to live my life with no restrictions on the road but I realised that I had done it all, Roman. My adventure… my life begins with you."

Roman was tearing and Dean started to feel his eyes wavering with tears too. "Dean, are you sure? You can still go back and live it out for a while longer."

"With all my heart, Roman, I promise you I am. Besides, you gave me an idea about that club. I think that sounds much more exciting than a teaching career."

The Samoan laughed. "Yeah, somehow I can't see you being a teacher, Dean."

"But you can see me with you, right?"

"For the rest of time."

Dean chatted with Randy about his Nutella special which Roman did his shift. Randy challenged him to try a set and Dean agreed. He ate a small piece of the pancake he had cut out and almost moaned. That was a damn good pancake.

"Well?" Randy asked.

"Better than sex," Dean declared. Roman happened to walk past by with a bill folder and cleared his throat loudly. Dean laughed. "Okay maybe not," he quickly amended.

* * *

They could not keep their hands off one another when they reached home. Clothes were thrown about all over the house before they fell on the bed and made love. Dean sighed in pleasure when Roman trailed kisses from his head to his feet literally.

He was thankful he lived far from his neighbor when he came; he was pretty sure he was screaming out loudly that the whole neighborhood could hear him. Roman merely laughed softly into his ear.

"That's a homecoming for you," his boyfriend teased.

Dean grinned devilishly. "I'm not done with you yet."

 _ **A/N I had to end it here but Chapter 20 will be up by tomorrow. I'm currently awaiting news from the doctor about my dad so I'm sorry if this is abrupt. Backlash will be the final story in my Fastlane series and it'll be more focused on how Dean adjusts to normal life so to speak. I hope to see you guys there as well. Thank you for your favorites/follows/reviews. I appreciate it and yay I finally have a name for the sweetheart who had been leaving me the guest comments (Adriana). Singrette thank you too! June, Courtney… too many and so I apologise if I missed out your name. Thank you!**_


	20. Chapter 20

Twenty

Dean snuggled closer to his boyfriend who was sleeping soundly in bed the next day and started to sing softly in his left ear:

 _Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite_

 _Looking forward to a little afternoon delight_

 _Rubbin' sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite_

 _And the thought of loving you is getting so exciting_

 _Sky rockets in flight_

 _Afternoon delight_

 _Afternoon delight_

 _Afternoon delight_

Roman started to smile even though his eyes were closed. "Ready to go again?"

"Always."

"Don't you have an appointment with Jim Ross to see his club today?"

The former rock star groaned. After making love intensely last afternoon, Roman had passed him the name card of the keen seller and Dean had called to arrange a meeting. "You have horrible timing, babe."

"I have terrible timing? Dean, you were the one who suggested this afternoon."

"Who asked you to look irresistible in bed?"

Roman threw an arm around his waist and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Hmmm… Guess I'll have to dye my hair or something."

"Don't you dare touch those gorgeous locks of yours," Dean threatened.

His boyfriend laughed. "Come on. Go get changed. Stop wasting time."

"Fine. But you're making me a large mug of Chai."

"No promises."

"Why the hell not?"

"We'll probably be in bed again."

"I can do that."

* * *

The club Jim Ross was selling needed major work but Dean was nothing short but excited at the possibilities of what he could do. It was in relatively good condition but he wanted to add cages where strippers could dance in and add more lights and better speakers for the bands when they performed.

He knew he wanted to place an additional bar at the opposite end of the bar.

Other than that, it had black flooring with black cushion seats and booths.

It was perfect to Dean.

"I'll take it," Dean announced and took out his check. "Here you go."

Jim Ross smiled. "Thank you. How did you know that this place was up for sale?"

"My boyfriend. You handed him your name card."

He seemed to be recalling. "I only gave it one man. A waiter at a coffeehouse."

"Yep. That's him."

"Oh." He looked surprised. "I had no idea. He's so humble."

"Yeah, he is."

"Do you have any idea what you want to call it?"

Dean stared at the club and started to envision what he wanted: people having fun and engaging in the culture of rock and roll, the excesses… the same way Steel Hounds had started. They had performed in clubs before Paul discovered them. He wanted this place to be all that and more and with all the alcohol and maybe a little help from Spongebob, this place was going to be a madhouse. " _Asylum_. I'm going to call it _Asylum_."

After toasting champagne together to celebrate their deal, he locked the place up, making a mental note to call an interior designer to start working immediately on the place, sources for alcohol suppliers, band equipments… He was giddy with excitement. There was so much to do.

He was clueless on using the computer so maybe he could ask Roman to help him.

As he drove back home, he called Roman and chatted with him over speaker phone. "Any idea what timing would you be opened from?" his boyfriend asked.

"I'm looking at eight at night to three in the morning," he replied as he stopped at the traffic.

"Okay. Because I was thinking you could hire someone to make a website for you. What's the name of the place?"

"I'm naming it Asylum. Partially because that place is going to be a madhouse."

"I like it."

"Mmm... you know what I like?"

"What?"

"You naked moaning under me and begging for more."

Roman laughed. "Sure it's not the other way around?"

"Oh. We're challenging each other again, are we?"

"Nah. You wouldn't last."

"You're on, babe. You're on."

No sooner than he had hung up did he receive a call from Bayley, secretary for Tom Phillips, Gore Force Records' record company president. "Ummm Dean, are you free to stop by Tom's office?" she asked meekly.

"When?" he asked. Truthfully he was puzzled as to why Tom wanted to see him. To negotiate his buying out of the contract?

"Like now?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm on the way."

* * *

Tom Phillips may not look like he was capable of running a label as big as Gore Force Records but he was notorious for having an iron fist. "Dean, are you sure?" he asked for the upteenth time. "You have such a beautiful voice. It'd be a shame if you had to let all this go."

He shook his head. "I'm sure."

"Wouldn't happen to be because of the boyfriend, would it?"

That made Dean look at him with curiosity. "Who told you?"

"Paul did when he called. I'm sure we can work something out, Dean. I have a hard time letting you go."

The auburn haired rock star rolled his eyes. "Tom, quit being melodramatic. There are plenty of people out there who are far more talented than me. Trust me. You'll find your next big thing."

The brunette man stroked his goatee when he sat down in front of Dean. "Your contract is not up yet."

"Didn't we agree to let me buy myself out?. You guys will earn money from that. You'll recover. Also, Sasha agreed to send out a tweet to announce me leaving the band. I thought you guys were okay with this."

"Antonio isn't."

Dean sat up straight and put down his glass of Scotch. Antonio Cesaro. His ex boyfriend who started off as a fan before meeting up with Paul and passing their demo to Tom. Unlike Roman, Antonio made him feel inferior because how worldly he was. He was well educated and had class; the man could speak five languages.

Yet he liked Dean; he thought Dean was hot and had an air of danger surrounding him.

He wasn't just a fan though; he was an A&R representative before he got promoted to executive vice president of the company. He had dumped Dean like a sack of potatoes after his promotion, claiming his wild lifestyle was too much for him.

"So he suddenly cares about me?" Dean questioned. "He sure as hell didn't have anything much to say after our breakup. Forget it, Tom. I'm over it."

"But I'm not."

He didn't need to turn around to know that his arrogant ex had had walked into the room. Tom looked at them both. "I'll just head to the cafeteria to sit what's cooking."

When the door closed behind them, Dean refused to look at Antonio's face. "You're an asshole," he snapped. "What the hell did I even see in you?"

"A lot: my looks, my status and my wide network."

He glared at him then. "Keep complimenting yourself, why don't you? After all, I'm pretty sure you were the first person to give yourself a pat on the back when you got that promotion."

"Still bitter about it? Our breakup had to be done. Look at you recently. All toned down. I like what I see."

"Get back in line. I'm not interested in you."

Antonio was not deterred. "Trust me. That ship has sailed a long time ago. I'm more interested in you financially. Your toned down persona could make us lots of money. Paul told us about your boyfriend. Risking it all on a waiter? Smart."

"That waiter is highly educated and has a heart of gold. You're not even a quarter of the man he is."

"I doubt it but hey if it helps you sleep better at night-"

"I already do."

Dean was whirled around to face him. "Look, Dean. I think you'd be great as a solo artist, alright? You could make millions. The label could make millions. We'll all be happy."

He was still all about the greens. Dean's well being meant nothing to him. Or the label. "Thanks but no thanks. I'll pay what I need to and after that, it's with a happy heart that I leave this place."

"I hope you'll reconsider, Dean. You live and breathe rock and roll and now you'll have to settle for a normal life. Have you given proper thought to it? Take some time off and hit back to the studio after your break."

* * *

Roman must have known he was in a bad mood because we came home, he hugged him tight, kicking the door shut with his left foot. "What happened, baby boy?"

Dean pulled away and walked to his kitchen. He opened his cabinet and took out a bottle of Jack Daniels from a hidden storage within it. He could feel Roman's eyes on him. "Not now, Roman," he said a bit sternly. He didn't want to say something that may offend the Samoan in his anger towards others.

"No," Roman insisted. "Talk to me, Dean. What happened?"

"The label is on my back on being a solo artist," he replied after he took a sip of the whiskey. "Don't they know the meaning of me quitting?"

"Do you want to, Dean?" Roman asked him slowly. "It's okay to change your mind. You know I'll stand by you no matter what."

Why were people so hard pressed on him reconsidering his decision? "No, Roman. I haven't changed my mind. Fuck the label." He drank more and placed it on the kitchen table. "Fuck!"

He felt Roman turning him around to face him. "Baby boy, why don't you take a nice bath and relax in the bedroom, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay," Dean agreed. His boyfriend was right. A nap after that would work too. He kissed Roman on his lips. "Thanks, Ro."

He took his bottle and headed up to the bedroom, stripping his clothes and walking into the marbled bathroom. He drew a bath and threw in a Black Pearl bath bomb from Lush into the tub. Another swig of Jack Daniels and he put it at the corner of the tub and stepped into it, slowly sinking in.

Was domestic life that bad? Dean wondered. Roman seemed to love it. He looked like he enjoyed taking care of Dean. Of course it couldn't be one sided but still… He yawned. His eyes were growing heavy. Maybe he'd take that nap now…

He woke up on his bed with Roman sleeping beside him, an arm around his stomach. His boyfriend must have carried him here. He rolled over to face the Samoan. He lightly trailed Roman's cheekbone.

This beautiful man was his, all his and he cared about Dean more than anyone ever had in his life. No, there was nothing to reconsider.

Dean would not give up this planned life with Roman for the label.

He slowly put Roman's arms aside and went to the bathroom, looking for his Jack Daniels. He couldn't find it in there so he returned to the bedroom. It was nowhere in sight. Did Roman discard the bottle?

He wasn't done drinking the whole thing yet and that was the only one he had stocked.

Unless he still had the other one hidden in his wardrobe. He opened the door and found a bottle of Smirnoff No. 21 Vodka and opened it, sitting down gingerly on the bed and taking a swig while replying to messages from Corey who was missing Dean.

And if Dean was being honest, he missed Corey too.

"What are you doing?"

The sound of Roman's voice made him put the bottle down and settle back into bed with him. Roman was rubbing his eyes. "Hakuna ma vodka. No worries for the rest of your days. Babe, have you seen my JD?" the auburn haired man enquired.

"I threw it away," came the simple reply.

"I wasn't done drinking it."

"I know. You're not on tour anymore, baby boy."

"I can still drink."

"Dean, drinking is not going to solve anything. Your problems are still going to be there waiting for you."

"How would you know, Roman? You've never drank anything before." Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Roman drinking once.

His boyfriend pulled him into his arms, lips covering his. Dean held on tight to Roman as he got lost in the love of his Samoan hunk. Roman's lips were gentle, soothing his anxious soul and yet there was a burning need in him to take one more sip.

He started to squirm so that he could grab the bottle but Roman tightened his hold as his kissing moved to Dean's neck, biting into his skin after that. He gasped at the contact of Roman's lips now sucking on the same spot.

"R-Roman…" he started to whisper.

"Ssshhh," his boyfriend said quietly before kissing him again.

Dean wiggled again. Roman slid his hand inside of his boxers and started to stroke him; he tore his lips away and hissed in pleasure. "You like that, baby boy?"

He gave a slight nod and begged for more. One of Roman's finger was on his slit, playing about with it. "Damn it, babe!"

"Language, Dean," Roman teased before dropping kisses on his jawline.

"Roman, I need-"

"What, Dean? What do you need?" He bit Dean's bottom lip gently. "What do you need?"

Dean felt as if he were melting under Roman's touch. "You… I need you." His boyfriend increased the speed of his strokes at a gradual pace. Dean was crumbling in Roman's arms and he was there, quietly assuring him of his love.

When he finally came in Roman's hand, he cried out loud in sheer pleasure, hands gripping his boyfriend's shoulders.

He pushed Roman on his back and pulled down his boyfriend's boxers.

The bottle would have to wait.

Till tomorrow.

* * *

Roman had found a house he had liked over a listing on a property website so Dean agreed to go for a viewing with him the next day. It was located in a suburban neighborhood - a good thirty minute drive away from _Asylum_ \- and the agent was a overly excited woman.

He followed closely behind Roman as they walked towards the red bricked bungalow. "It has hardwood floors, solid oak doors and a small study room." She guided them inside. The house was spacious with French doors and windows and a back porch.

Nothing like his mansion.

He felt overwhelmed then. Was he doing the right thing? Throwing away everything he had ever worked for?

His hand was squeezed and he found Roman smiling politely at whatever the woman - Dean hadn't bothered to ask for her name - was explaining.

"There's a huge master bedroom and two bedrooms with two full bathrooms and one half bathroom. As you can see too, a spacious family room and a two car garage." She started to walk. Roman was starting to follow her but turned around when he felt Dean stay put. "Babe, you okay?"

"Yeah," Dean replied. "You go check it out first; I wanna see the kitchen."

Roman smiled warmly. "Sure." He bounded up the stairs after the property agent.

Dean strolled out to the porch and removed the mini bottle of Jack Daniels from the inside of his coat. He unscrewed the top and gulped down the liquid courage. What had he gotten himself into?

He needed to try hard for Roman. This was his boyfriend's element. Whether he liked it or not, he had to adapt. Roman meant too much to him.

"Dean?" he heard Roman call him from the family room. He quickly put the bottle back in his pocket and turned around to see a thrilled Roman joining him on the porch. "I love it," his boyfriend said. "You should see how the second storey looks like."

Dean made a face. "Nah. I trust your taste. Do you really love it?"

"Yes. There's so much we can do with the place."

"Great. Let's get it then."

"Really? Your opinion matters too, baby boy."

"I know but like I said, I trust your taste."

Roman gave him a quick peck before he strolled back into the house. Yes. This was the right thing to do. Roman meant the world to him and Dean would walk through hell for him. His hand touched the spot where the bottle was.

This was the right thing to do.

 _ **A/N Well that's it. Thank you all for your favorites/follows/reviews. And your well wishes. I've drafted out Backlash's first chapter while I was at the hospital because I had plenty of time to spare and that should be out shortly. Take care and see you at Backlash.**_


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